how do girlfriends deal with autistics??

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26 Sep 2012, 9:16 pm

My two ex girlfriends & my current one were/are very accepting of my Aspieness but my personality in a relationship isn't like the stereotyped Aspie guy & none of my girlfriends for typical NTs; Mm 1st was NT but had bad ADHD & dyslexia & some OCD, my 2nd thought she was an Aspie & my current/last thinks it's possible she has AS

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AspieOtaku
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27 Sep 2012, 2:48 am

Adam82 wrote:

By rejecting the guy in the first place

This at least 90% of the time!

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27 Sep 2012, 3:29 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r925UqtFnfg[/youtube]

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28 Sep 2012, 3:13 am

Its also difficult as well because aspies tend to be the nice guy type and most women will reject that as well untill they mature and look past all that.[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6nqMH1IYn0&feature=related[/youtube]

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28 Sep 2012, 4:13 am

Yep. Nice guys finish last.

AspieOtaku
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28 Sep 2012, 2:19 pm

Adam82 wrote:

Yep. Nice guys finish last.

Too bad we all cant hang out have a couple cold ones and play pool until Mrs. Right comes along eh. Otherwise time for me to grab my pass poport and spend a long time in Taiwan, Japan, China, or Korea the women are more firendly.

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10 Oct 2012, 2:36 am

I wish more women gave guys like us a chance more and not judge us just because we are autisic! I hate the ignorance of the populace!

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10 Oct 2012, 4:33 am

the_beautiful_mess wrote:

WHAT a depressing thread this is becoming. And mostly b*ll*cks.

I'm an Aspie girl, and have a mix (albeit a small mix) of NT and Aspie friends. One of my closest NT friends has a boyfriend with AS. She doesn't treat him any different to how she would another NT, but if he's having a bad day or just an episode, she'll know and she'll help. She's patient, and she's kind, and she's loyal, and she knows being with him is worth it. And she's not the only one.

Just because finding 'love' is harder when you're on the spectrum, it's not impossible. You just need to be prepared to wait and work. The thing you need most to make a relationship work is simply the feeling that the most important thing is to make the other person happy. If you don't get that feeling straight away, then work for it. If it doesn't come after that, she's the wrong girl. YOU dump HER and move on. Learning to move on is also pretty key.

Also, wallowing in this self-piteous 'girls just don't do guys with AS' is not going to get you any sort of positive relationship apart from a 'Moaning Men' club.

And before someone says they're not taking relationship advice from a fourteen-year-old, remember this: HMS Titanic was built by professionals, the ark by amateurs.

You didn't get the humor behind the collective pessissism in this thread.

and the Ark was supposed to be engineered by God lol.

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10 Oct 2012, 7:30 am

AspieOtaku wrote:

Adam82 wrote:

Yep. Nice guys finish last.

Stay away of the Chinese girls, they're usually very materialistic (ok for the other mentioned nationalities) , you've been warned. Stereotype I know, but it seems their culture and economy make them very money-oriented.

Or stick to your local girls, overall western people are less materialstic (by afar!!) than eastern/asian ones.

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10 Oct 2012, 8:27 am

the_beautiful_mess wrote:

Also, wallowing in this self-piteous 'girls just don't do guys with AS' is not going to get you any sort of positive relationship apart from a 'Moaning Men' club.

That's one thing to extremely avoid...

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10 Oct 2012, 8:50 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

the_beautiful_mess wrote:

You didn't get the humor behind the collective pessissism in this thread.

and the Ark was supposed to be engineered by God lol.

The Ark was meant to be built by Noah... God told Noah to do it for Him, He just supplied the wood.

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10 Oct 2012, 10:28 am

the_beautiful_mess wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

the_beautiful_mess wrote:

You didn't get the humor behind the collective pessissism in this thread.

and the Ark was supposed to be engineered by God lol.

The Ark was meant to be built by Noah... God told Noah to do it for Him, He just supplied the wood.

But it was "God's design", not amateur at all whether the titanic was designed by
ere mortals.

I don't believe in god but any ship designed by a flawless supreme being can't be considered an amateurish project.

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10 Oct 2012, 12:33 pm

Most gfs don't give bfs a chance after finding out their autistic that is just the way it is.If a couple were to marry and the wife finds out he's autistic expect paperwork to file for divorce.

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10 Oct 2012, 12:47 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:

Most gfs don't give bfs a chance after finding out their autistic that is just the way it is.If a couple were to marry and the wife finds out he's autistic expect paperwork to file for divorce.

This happened to a friend. He was having issues in his marriage. Then he got DQ with AS. When he told his wife, hoping the wife would understand, she filed for divorce. She did not even want to try and work it out. So much for the sacred vow of marriage.

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10 Oct 2012, 6:51 pm

KenM wrote:

AspieOtaku wrote:

Most gfs don't give bfs a chance after finding out their autistic that is just the way it is.If a couple were to marry and the wife finds out he's autistic expect paperwork to file for divorce.

Reason why I keep my AS/HFA secret when a relationship so it can last as long as possible if I tell the individual right away the response would be "oh I had no idea" followed by her dumping me a couple days later and avoiding me for a while.

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10 Oct 2012, 7:02 pm

AspieOtaku wrote:

KenM wrote:

AspieOtaku wrote:

Most gfs don't give bfs a chance after finding out their autistic that is just the way it is.If a couple were to marry and the wife finds out he's autistic expect paperwork to file for divorce.

It's not just women who do that to men, men do that to us too you know.
My last two relationships ended because neither of the guys could handle my AS - I was undiagnosised at the time but the result was the same.

I was upfront for the first time recently - and it hasn't affected things negatively - quite the opposite.
I honestly think it depends more on the person you are dealing with - if they are mature, honest, direct and accepting then you can probably be much more open with each other.

I don't think I would be able to keep it a secret if I were in a relationship. Relationships expose the most vulnerable parts of you and have a way of showing them - that is true of NT's, and even more true of us aspies because we have a much harder time with all the social and emotional necessities that come with an intimate relationship. The other person could not fail to notice. At least if they have a reason and explaination - they know you are not doing it on purpose - hopefully that can open up the topic to proper conversation and discussion so you can figure out some coping skills and solutions.

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