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ValentineWiggin
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14 Oct 2012, 3:37 am

BlueMax wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
"someone who calls women b*****s might not be making himself particularly appealing to women with that language"


With that re-clarification in place, you do notice she didn't get called such until AFTER she did a number of terrible things, right? Please don't tell me she still doesn't deserve it.



She still didn't deserve it.
Sexist/racist BS is STILL sexist/racist BS, regardless of whether someone of another sex/race dared to p!ss you off.


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BlueMax
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14 Oct 2012, 3:43 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
"someone who calls women b*****s might not be making himself particularly appealing to women with that language"


With that re-clarification in place, you do notice she didn't get called such until AFTER she did a number of terrible things, right? Please don't tell me she still doesn't deserve it.



She still didn't deserve it.
Sexist/racist BS is STILL sexist/racist BS, regardless of whether someone of another sex/race dared to p!ss you off.


So can a man also treat women with utter contempt, use them for sex then slap 'em around afterward - then expect you won't call him any names, like a$$hole, jerk, abuser or misogynist? Or is that only a one-way deal?



spongy
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14 Oct 2012, 3:43 am

I try to get to know someone before asking them on a date(I can think of a couple of exceptions on double dates but I trust my friends judgement) so Im quite unlikely to end up on this situation.

If her attitude changed a lot during the date Id ask whats up with that/leave if there wasnt a suitable reply.
Its not going to help me find a partner any time sooner but I have my principles



ValentineWiggin
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14 Oct 2012, 3:47 am

BlueMax wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
"someone who calls women b*****s might not be making himself particularly appealing to women with that language"


With that re-clarification in place, you do notice she didn't get called such until AFTER she did a number of terrible things, right? Please don't tell me she still doesn't deserve it.



She still didn't deserve it.
Sexist/racist BS is STILL sexist/racist BS, regardless of whether someone of another sex/race dared to p!ss you off.


So can a man also treat women with utter contempt, use them for sex then slap 'em around afterward - then expect you won't call him any names, like a$$hole, jerk, abuser or misogynist? Or is that only a one-way deal?


None of those names are inherently-related to the sex of the offender. Is this really that difficult of a concept?


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They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
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BlueMax
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14 Oct 2012, 3:54 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
None of those names are inherently-related to the sex of the offender. Is this really that difficult of a concept?

2-3 times tonight you couldn't help but take digs at my intelligence, to imply that because I disagree with you I must be "unable to understand basic concepts or name-calling or psychology" - even after I apologized for my part of thread derailment.

Further conversation would be futile.



ValentineWiggin
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14 Oct 2012, 3:58 am

BlueMax wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
None of those names are inherently-related to the sex of the offender. Is this really that difficult of a concept?

2-3 times tonight you couldn't help but take digs at my intelligence, to imply that because I disagree with you I must be "unable to understand basic concepts or name-calling or psychology" - even after I apologized for my part of thread derailment.

Further conversation would be futile.


The examples you cited had nothing to do with sexist language,
use of which (such as in the OP) limiting one's dating prospects being my point.

It wasn't a dig at your intelligence,
but a genuine concern that you didn't understand my words despite quoting them.


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equestriatola
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14 Oct 2012, 4:36 am

I'd run. And fast.


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civrev
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14 Oct 2012, 6:37 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
"someone who calls women b*****s might not be making himself particularly appealing to women with that language"


With that re-clarification in place, you do notice she didn't get called such until AFTER she did a number of terrible things, right? Please don't tell me she still doesn't deserve it.



She still didn't deserve it.
Sexist/racist BS is STILL sexist/racist BS, regardless of whether someone of another sex/race dared to p!ss you off.


So can a man also treat women with utter contempt, use them for sex then slap 'em around afterward - then expect you won't call him any names, like a$$hole, jerk, abuser or misogynist? Or is that only a one-way deal?


None of those names are inherently-related to the sex of the offender. Is this really that difficult of a concept?


They are used in a derogatory fashion towards males a vast majority of the time. You know what else is sexist language? "He" and "she". There needs to be an acknowledgement that there's a difference between language that references a gender in a derogatory manner without further discrimination(b***h is used casually sometimes in this manner and it's wrong, ie "those b*****s at the mall were hot!), and derogatory references that serve as a descriptor of a particular person of a certain gender(b***h is more often used this way, ie "she made fun of my friend, what a b***h!"). a**hole is also used in the latter fashion to describe males, and while they are harsh and potentially offensive depending on the person, saying they are wrong because they're sexist is coming dangerously close to saying the words "he" and "she" are wrong because they're sexist. The profanity mentioned is simply more specific than "he" and "she".



JanuaryMan
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14 Oct 2012, 7:01 am

Sorry Wiggins and dogs but you are both using bad experiences you have had to justify derogatory terms towards men but not towards women. I think if someone has been a nightmare to you regardless of gender you should be able to at least think of them as any name under the Sun. And as Max said this was a hypothetical situation where the "perfect girl" turned out to be the perfect nightmare. Not the "nice guy" just ranting and raving through his own bitterness. Sure this affects him personally but he's kind of got a point.

With that in mind, OP. If I was ever in a relationship like that I'd end it almost instantly these days. But I'd imagine if a guy has low self esteem or low chances of getting another relationship they'd try to "fix" it first..or delay the inevitable whichever you prefer.



spongy
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14 Oct 2012, 7:23 am

I dont mind doing something against derogatory terms against BOTH genders.
However I feel the need to bring up that the rules clearly dictate that if we act on the slut use we must act on the a**hole/dick use since the rules state that no gender should be belittled and I have yet to see someone refering to a woman as an a**hole/dick



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14 Oct 2012, 7:40 am

billiscool wrote:
Let's say you meet a woman.
She is attractive,popular,cool

"attractive and popular and cool" are attributes that the general populace ascribes values to in their appraisal of how and where they will spend their energy. i have no interest in in their appraisals. and i will talk to whoever i want and i can not say exactly why some people always talk in a way that makes it seem like they have an agenda.

the rest of your post is just disgruntled rantings as far as i can see, so i have not bothered to address it.

i hope you get better.
no cranky replies please?



JanuaryMan
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14 Oct 2012, 7:45 am

To be fair those are the OP's perceptions of what the girl is. Might not necessarily be the case. A lot of us at some point idolise our crushes and should we actually get to date them more often than not we are left disappointed.



Kurgan
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14 Oct 2012, 8:38 am

billiscool wrote:
Let say you meet a women. She is attractive,popular,cool and she shows in interest you and you find her attractive and you ask her out and
she say yes. OK let say the women turn out to be a complete b*tch, she is rude to you, she has no respect for you, she cheats on you,
would you stay with her?.
or would continue to date other women who are pretty and cool or would you be more wary?
Sadly, I know that alot of women will continue dating abusers because alot of abusers have ''confidence'' and ''game''
And alot of men will continue dating female abusers because they find them attractive and ''cool''


Men don't care about "coolness" and social status as much as women do. Some insecure men suffer from the "bad girl syndrome"; their self-esteem is low, so they're willing to date a b!tch as long as she looks good. It's caused by some of the same mechanisms that cause teenage girls to date a-holes.



starryeyedvoyager
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14 Oct 2012, 9:02 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
"someone who calls women b*****s might not be making himself particularly appealing to women with that language"


With that re-clarification in place, you do notice she didn't get called such until AFTER she did a number of terrible things, right? Please don't tell me she still doesn't deserve it.



She still didn't deserve it.
Sexist/racist BS is STILL sexist/racist BS, regardless of whether someone of another sex/race dared to p!ss you off.


So can a man also treat women with utter contempt, use them for sex then slap 'em around afterward - then expect you won't call him any names, like a$$hole, jerk, abuser or misogynist? Or is that only a one-way deal?


None of those names are inherently-related to the sex of the offender. Is this really that difficult of a concept?


Without wanting to be the guy who goes all feminist (a word and idea that I hate go begin with, but for the sake of simpicity, let's just use it for now), I agree. Telling yourself that somebody "deserves" a certain social punishment is lying to yourself and making your guilty conscience go away. If you really thought it was right, you wouldn't feel the need to justify it. Calling someone names is never appropriate. Lowering yourself to another's level you deem beneath you because of his or her actions is something that undermines your apperant moral superiority. Why does someone who hurts your feelings "deserve" to be hurt back, in a childish way no less that solves nothing, won't probably hurt that person as much as he or she did with you, and in the end, it just bad blood that has its root in your hurt ego. Nobody is a b***h because she does something, she becomes a b***h the moment you label her as one. I know it may sound nitpicky, but calling someone names after a break-up or stuff like that is the beginning to a feud that might never end. Hurt feelings suck, big time. Being cheated on and insulted by someone you cared for and trusted, even more so. But fighting an injustice with another injustice leads to... guess what, more injustice. It is an understandable behaviour, and I would be a fool and a liar if I claimed never to have insulted anyone (allthough it has been a long time since I did that), but I've always felt bad about it. It is like Bill Cosby said: Hurt people hurt people! It is only natural. But since our human intelligence has brought us to a point where we no longer can give in to any "natural" urge we feel, we need to comply to social standards. Someone has to break the negative cycle and be the more reasonable. It may be harder, but that is life on the high road, and in the long run, people will respect you more.

tl;dr: Calling someone a b***h as an insult (hey, nothing against roleplaying and that kinda kink) is a no-go.


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JanuaryMan
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14 Oct 2012, 9:16 am

No one "deserves" to be hurt back, but it is only human to be hurt and think of hurtful things once harm has been done unto yourself. You can't go into peoples' minds and purge those feelings in the name of one gender or the other under the guise of equality. Let people be mad, let people vent within reason. Besides, you're one to talk. This has now been blown out of realistic proportion.

On top of that, all those words are insults onto genders not just the B word. By your own argument none of them should be used.



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14 Oct 2012, 10:48 am

This discussion is becoming very stupid. For f**k's sake, it is only a word! Words are meant to be used: if they "hurt your feelings", that is your problem. Here, have some tissues and stop being a whiner:
Image
I guess this is one of my so called "pet peeves": politically correct people who try to ban the use of words they consider "offensive". Newsflash: language is a tool and it is meant to be used. If you want to be offended at something, be offended at actions: contrary to words, they actually can hurt.

Also:
Image
That is a b***h. Look at how adorable and not offensive at all she is! :D


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