how do shy women do it

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I'm not sure there was a question in the first post.

People seem to view me as a shy woman even though I don't feel shy. I'm just quiet; I usually feel like I could talk if I wanted to in a social situation. But I'm definitely not one of those girls who chats away and is "bubbly" and crazy.

One part of it is that my voice just physically does not seem to be able to reach a loud volume. People perceive this as shyness, when it's not really anything to do with it.

Another reason for me is being chronically physically ill. It's hard to invest in social interaction when feeling exhausted and sick. That's changed for me as my illness has worsened. Even when I put an effort in and pretend as if I'm feeling ok, I think it still shows and people can detect that my efforts to be part of the social interaction are forced rather than natural. Even if they're not aware of exactly what the problem is, they can probably tell there's something lacking from my behaviour.

The most important thing I can say is that for me my quietness is very much dependent on the people I am with and the context. I can be a completely different person depending on who I'm with. Ever so occasionally I will be with someone where I click and the conversation will flow. Sometimes - often unfortunately - I just can't make a connection because I just don't mesh with the people I'm around. I think this is probably true for a lot of people - women, men, shy or otherwise. It's easy to "be yourself" and open up around friends and people you know well, for example, and harder to talk to people you don't get on with, don't know or find intimidating.

So if someone approaches me, my shyness will be a problem depending on whether he's someone I get on with or not. I don't think there's any technique he could use to get me talking. Obviously some things help - like good manners, striking an interesting topic of conversation, etc. But ultimately if we're going to get along, we will and it will work out naturally. If I'm unable to think of anything to say - and therefore come across as shy (and perhaps stand-offish and unfriendly) it's just because there's no connection between us.

I think I'm more likely to be thought of as shy than as rude. Does anyone hate it when someone says to them "why are you so quiet?" Or "you don't speak much, do you?" :p What are you supposed to answer to that?

another question. Is how do these men do it? I mean I've gone up to women before that possible could have been shy
and I just give up. ''Im like this women is not into me''. but If I kept talking to the same women, she might have gotten upset at me.'
Think That Im harrasing her. These men who are getting shy women to date them, must be doing something, That me and alot of men are not doing. second shy women must be hanging out somewhere to get these men to approach them. from what I read.
None of these men come off as ''creepy'' or ''abuser'' type. Boyfriend of shy women, apprear to be very nice and very caring men.
I don't know. It what I get from reading various forum on this subject.

and another thing i've notice. Every forum I've read about shy women. whether she has asperger, has social anxiety, or just a plain nt.
Always have the same story. The woman is so shy, but one day some cool guy approach her and doesn't give up on her and just keep trying to ''get her'' and finaly she falls in love with man. And the man is so cool and so loving that he can't resist her and he is in so much in love with the shy gal.

here how I image it
shy woman: (sign) no man like me.. my shyness is scaring them.
well look like I have to buy some milk

(at store, The most most hansom, romantic man in city notice her)
the man: that women, who is she. she is the most beautiful women I have ever seen.
I have to talk to her
(he approach her)
the man: you my darling, are so beautiful please be my wife
shy woman: um... I... II
(shy woman walks aways)
the man: that women. she is so beautiful, I can't not give up her, she will be mine
(a week later the shy woman return to the store)
(the man notice her again)
The man: oh... my sweet darling. I will give everything to you.
here my love. Here are some sweet flower to you. you sweet thing
shy woman:um....... thank.......you
(shy woman runs away)
the man: ohhhh. She playing hard to catch. I like it
(and now the third time at the store again. and the man notice her again)
the man: woman, I need you. I need you so badly. Please don't break my heart.
Marry me and we can live so happily together
shy woman:um...... ok....
The man: you will never regrets this my love.

so they get married and the man and shy women lives very happy together.

I get hit on usually when I have to attend birthday parties of close friends or end of term celebrations, usually we go out dancing.
It only happens a few times a year.

I have a friend who's shy...and I've tried my best to talk to them about interesting things...(she does open up to me), but she still refuses to come out of this narrow conversation we have.

It's about the same thing, and I am polite about it...but it really gets me down....because I don't want to talk about the same things in our lives everyday.

She won't help herself either....I can understand being shy...but not wanting to talk about other things? I don't know.

I've pretty much given up ever having an interesting conversation with them...but I haven't jeapordised our current friendship....it angers me so much when people assume that I should go out with her since I appear boring also....(especially my family).

I just don't want to talk about this stuff with them....

So yeah, depends on the Shy girl really...and yes, she has managed to get much more dates then me (she also has a condition, but not Aspergers). So I have no excuse there....well I do...I don't socialise that well.

You sure you are not getting your sources confused? It sounds like you have been reading movie scripts.

I'm a mediocre shy gal, and you will NEVER hear a story about me falling for a guy that wouldn't leave me alone. I've heard of it happening, but only to outgoing girls, not shy ones. Different cultures perhaps?

billiscool you sound like my friend before he had girlfriends, intercourse or even began flirting.
He relied on movies, his special interest to figure out the world. He also tried to emulate the movies.

This won't help you figure out what you want to figure out about women. Shy women aren't like in the movies, being shy is just one very small part of who they are and even shy people can be rude freaks just like loud people can be nice or not nice.

I believe the actual question is how to approach a shy girl.

On that subject Id say that you need to find a non threatening way to do it and make sure that she feels comfortable talking you(just as with other girls, one word replies mean that she isnt comfortable).
If you see her frequently try to go step by step:
1st-Wave at her one day when she happens to be looking at you. Watch how she replies(waving back/smiling are good signs, anything else means you should probably look elsewhere for a partner)
2nd- Try to approach her about a safe topic one day shortly after the wave incident. It can be weather, work, tv, traffic, anything that you can talk with an old lady you meet at the bus stop.
Watch how she replies
3rd-keep approaching her for a while about safe topics and suggest meeting at a non-threatening place for a safe activity(getting a drink or similar)outside where you usually meet. Again dont wait too long or she may get the wrong idea about the meeting.

Approaching random shy women on the street? Thats a very complicated thing and I have no intention of learning any time soon

Yeah, approaching them on the street can turn bad on you. Perhaps somewhere like a convention or an event where every stranger is on equal terms and you can strike up a conversation innocently enough.