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We have broken up

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boston123
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 25 Jan 2012
Age: 54
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29 Oct 2012, 12:39 pm

ChrisP wrote:
There is a world of difference between being slow/afraid/uncertain how to commit, and being simply too idle to make the effort to commit because the the other party seems willing to do all the work involved. And a sensitive NT will encourage the Aspie to commit as/when/however possible because, although committing requires more effort for the Aspie, a committed relationship in the end is as rewarding for the Aspie as for the NT!


he has had committed relationships, which makes it harder for me (rejection etc), and cites 'communication issues" as the factor. For me this is a DUH!, as he is somewhere on the spectrum yet will never allow this to be uttered. its always been the elephant in the room that i dance around in a bid to understand him, without knowing if he is/isn't. I suppose that in itself is the same as "Not Working", though i've yet to imagine a situation where it might. No woman could be this tolerant without understanding - except maybe his mother.
So, we went away as friends - as he put it to me when i asked why he wanted to go away considering we had just broken up "i have no friends and you're the closest thing ive got."

I think he wanted a committed relationship, but didnt want to do the work. For whatever reasons.
Thats partly why i now have to say goodbye - because he can't simply switch me into being a convenient friend without duly considering how it impacts me.


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Reptilegal
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29 Oct 2012, 4:18 pm

Its going ok now, we chat on facebook just like we did before we went out,
Its still a bit hard not holding his hands or being wrapped in his arms but heyy,
:)



boston123
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30 Oct 2012, 1:47 am

Reptilegal wrote:
Its going ok now, we chat on facebook just like we did before we went out,
Its still a bit hard not holding his hands or being wrapped in his arms but heyy,
:)


good for you to keep the friendship going. in some ways thats way more brave.
hugs.


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AspieOtaku
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30 Oct 2012, 2:10 am

JanuaryMan wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
...."still single" *hides* :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:


Funny, but inappropriate.
Sorry I was trying to be silly but I guess its a bad time to do so. :(


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Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
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