DevilKisses wrote:
Outrider wrote:
I chose 'no preference' but would have preferred to choose 'Neurodiverse in general' if that was also an option.
My first and only relationship was a ND female - mental disability ('learning difficulties') with 'autistic traits'.
We got along very well and I very much still believe she seemed like and still is a good match for me. However, for whatever reason things haven't worked out too well.
And, in general I prefer people with an alternative outlook on life, uniuqe people, non-conformist, and especially those that do not play 'the game' or follow traditional dating or social rules of getting to know someone.
I could have just said I prefer aspie females, but I do not. I prefer any female with some sort of mild disability/disorder who has also had struggle and I can relate to and also does things differently than most - ADHD, Social Anxiety, OCD, whatever.
Kind of the same with me. My ex was a bit too disabled for me. He could barely read, so I had to talk on the phone with him. I hate talking on the phone, so that made it hard to communicate with him.
I was initially drawn to him because he seemed like the least disabled person at my social skills group. I now realize that's not true at all. He just had a good social mask back then.
I've had intelligent conversations with the more autistic looking people of my group. They've also been more successful. They go to university and probably have jobs.
My ex probably wouldn't make it in university. He also has very sketchy friends and girlfriends. His ex-girlfriend pretended to be pregnant.
He's into guns and drugs. He thinks he's a "badass mofo" just because he owns guns. He wasn't joking about that. He was dead serious. He also claims to be friends with drug dealers.
He's fun to talk to, but he's a pretty unreliable narrator. I don't think his social mask is working anymore. He doesn't seem normal anymore, he now seems sketchy and immature.
I think I'll prefer someone who's a bit outside of the mainstream, but doesn't really identify as disabled. If I date someone too normal I'll find them boring and deal with patronizing dynamics.
*Sigh* as someone with a lot of disabled family members, a lot of the males are like that EXACTLY and I can't fricken stand it. I absolutely hate it. Low-life, 'gangsta' acting, jobless, lazy, out of shape, drug using, rednecked, bogan, innappropriate, over-aggressive, idiotic rednecks. That's the nicest way I can speak about these criminals (yes, some of them are actual criminals as well). There's my uncle with learning difficulties, my other one is also an aspie but I swear he must be undiagnosed with something else, sociopathy maybe as criminal aspies are usually reported to have other disorders as well.
No, I DEFINITELY could NOT stand ever dating the female equivalent, and I know they exist - females with learning difficulties/mental disablities/disorders who area bad person, the kind of ones that would lie about being pregnant.
But I hold out on the hope to find the one's that are GOOD people.
I think there are good and bad in all groups, aspie, non-aspie or neurodiverse in general.
And to be honest, in my humble opinion, they may be harder to find, and they might take years of hard work and searching and patient waiting, but when you finally do meet someone who is ND, and is the GOOD in ND, then you've truly met someone special and one of a kind.
I'm very happy I did wait until later high school to get my first girlfriend. I wanted to be at least 16 or 17 as this is when I feel relationships become more serious. She wasn't just ND but also just happened to have many, many traits I do find attractive in the opposite sex. She's a truly special person to me, and even if we don't end up together I do hope to stay good friends with her, and I'll never forget the good times we've had.
Brief relationship that didn't last, but every second was worth it and it as worth the wait instead of rushing into a 'boring' and 'normal' relationship with an N.T.
10 Oct 2015, 2:11 am
