Feeling ugly, flat chested and that I'm not good enough

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The fact he wants to ogle other women, compare mine unfavorably to theirs and wish he was with them bothers me. He said if women walked around topless he'd check them out.

Women's Mind: "If he likes MY boobs so much, then why the hell is he looking at HER boobs?! Lying scumbag. But I'd better pretend I'm cool with it, otherwise he'll dump me for being oversensitive."

http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-02-13/10- ... all-boobs/

Where are you getting that fact from, if not from what he said (because he did not say any of that)?

Well isn't that what men do when they check out other women?

Men in happy relationships? I doubt it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5guk5WaRyE[/youtube]It could be worse you could be this Butterfly! No need to feel down! Hope this vid made you laugh I just want you to cheer up!

Reminds me of when my dates talk about someone's tall height positively or in positive tone.

I am 163 cm, ~5'3

I agree with this.
You can't rely on others for your self-image.
You could get all the compliments in the world, but if you fundamentally dislike yourself or how you look, the slightest criticism will immediately topple the effects of the compliments.

It's definitely the media that causes women (and men) to feel so self-conscious. And then people just continue believing that they need to fit a certain body type in order to be attractive. Here's what I don't understand: most models are very, very pretty, extremely skinny and small breasted, and yet they're sought after. While, the media portrays women with larger breasts as attractive...so much so that many celebrities get breast implants. I'm very confused about that. Just because you're small breasted, doesn't mean you aren't beautiful with what you have. I can understand why it made you feel self-conscious when your boyfriend said that. I remember speaking to you before in another thread. I really hope that he starts treating you better. :/

From my oppinion i see in this a problem. Why do you think anyway that you "have to be enough" for someone else? You are you. And as long as you are a good person, there is nothing more that can be achieved. If its not good enough for others that you are a nice and good person, which is already the top of all that you can ever achieve, then there are some nice internet adress of chinese doll inventors. You can choose them to be however you want, and they really look realistic. If people are happy with that, be it. But you are worth more, then to waste you and your life on people that prefer plastic boobs over you.

If that men really depends your "worth" in his imaginations by the size of your breasts, then not your breast size is the problem, but that your boyfriend is an complete idiot that needs to grow up before starting with relationships.

I mean come on, do you really want to gift the decision if you have are having good day or not, on people telling what breast size they want? I mean sure, the guys here want to comfort you and mean it in a good way. But "Nono, your not worthless because you have pretty normal breasts, because there are also men who like pretty normal breasts." still include that your worth would depend on other people liking your breast. XD

It seems for me that you may have some self esteem troubles, i also had one including a depression. My therapeut told me, that for these people its complete normal, that they dont see the good points inside them (No, I dont mean any optics of body parts.), but for the start its way easier for them to think of things that they think that are really bad. So when he asked me to think of and to tell him why i would be "bad" person, it leads me to the insight, that there is nothing really bad on me. Sure, everyone has some minor disadvantages for normal, but nothing that makes me a monster. If I am no monster, theres no need to feel like I was one.

Maybe you can use that on you. So it may not help you fell like a model, but for me its seems right now that you are doing yourself really some issues because of feeling like something "not enough". So do you really think, that having beautiful normal breasts, instead of having beautiful big breasts, should be enough cause for you feeling yourself not enough?

From my opinion your should be more bothering if your partners brain is enough for you. XD

i agree with this, to some degree. i don't think there is an easy cure for insecurity... when i was a young adult until i was about 30 i had the same insecurity. i had smaller breasts than they made cup sizes for (32AAA - except in what they called "training bras", which are not even available in stores in that size anymore). some men DID prefer small breasts, some men didn't care, some men preferred them larger. i liked the guys who didn't care because then at least i wasn't being fetishised.

anyways, what did finally help was dating someone who cared for me so deeply that he took the time to show me how appreciated i was, no matter what my body looked like. he started by buying us a skin mag called "A Cup Honeys" to look at together, to show me how beautiful flat chested women could be. this was especially important because over the long term... nobody's body stays the same, because gravity is always working on us (and some women have babies, which has an effect). he also helped me through other kinds of changes.

the better was to get over the insecurity is to learn to love yourself without having a partner hold your hand like i did (it took me ten years at least, with a partner helping me). that is much healthier in the long term. but i don't know if you can do that while you are dating someone who is constantly making you question your own attractiveness. but keep in mind that there ARE people out there who will love every thing about your body, no matter how it looks... even if it changes to the exact opposite!! !

Well, you definitely seem to be brave enough to post about it here, in the open. I guess that is your right to do

I wonder how the corset would have worked for smaller breasted women in the time (French comes to mind) when it was acceptable to show women's nipples. Or was the idea to make it look bigger by squeezing their rib cage by so much to make it appear as if their breasts pops out. hmmm

I want to make it clear that this man is the One for me otherwise. My breast issue is not so bad I'll leave him. I don't gnome he's mean; he's just incredibly stupid and insensitive about these things.

And remember the most common breast sizes of most Hollywood TV and Movie actresses is A to B! Not DD! So you are in great company.

If woman walked around topless, guys would be checking them out. Size, shape, proportions.......doesn't matter.

Based on what you're saying here, I don't think he did anything wrong or disparrage you in any way. I understand your insecurities about body image but you're projecting your own attitudes and opinions about your image into him. Sounds like he likes you the way you are and probably like your boobies a lot too.