It seems to me Aspie women have an easier time then men in

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I didn't take the "finding love" comment to mean real love.

..So, basically, it's the exact same as it is for NT women and men?

are you a virgin? ever had a boyfriend? (or girlfriend if you are a lesbian)?

uh thx

No and Yes.

But that doesn't mean they'e easy to find, I have a terrible time finding people that are actuially interested in me, I don't think I have it easier than aspie guys, especially in New Zealand.

I didn't like what you said because it was like "this is a statement, end of arguement" You didn't even state why you think this is the case.

I don't think one gender has it easier than the other.

Tim

Yes, there are more aspie men than women. But, there are ALOT more women aspies who have a partner than there are male aspies. Add up the male/female ratios at your local autism group, do the math. It's because a man has to do ALL the courting.... I mean yeah, men do have standards, but ultimately the woman makes the call. Because if the guy isn't interested in her, it's almost certain another guy will be. The guy has to impress the girl alot more than the girl has to impress the guy, basically.

tell me about it

Tim, thanks for the voice of sanity in this whole discussion.

Men and women have different issues with courtship. More and more the idea is being pushed now that women have to take the initiative in getting men interested in them.

It seems to me that a lot of the views put forward by other males on this forum have been garnered from old magazines of the 1950's.

Also, it is important to point out that not everybody with AS has it to the same extent.

Tim

Why do men HAVE to do the courting? I've never been courted. I go out and get the dirty work done myself. I've been in a two year committed relationship as a result.

A lot of people here look down on NTs, but then cling to NT ideals. Don't fall into that trap. Don't believe the gender roles that NTs impose on everyone.

I actually prefer when the woman does the courting.

Tim

Well, generally, yes Asie women do have it easier. Here's the thing: there are about 105 males for every 100 females. That already means that there is an inequality between the sexes, which means that 5% of men will never find partner. Also, lets not discount the NT supermen out there who are not only able to to get dates from many women, but also in fact date multiple women at once. But it all comes down to this point: if you're an aspie male, and you are introverted but still somewhat sociable (like I consider myself to be) you will have a hard time picking up dates because society expects you do to all the work in a courtship, even if you're not born with all the tools (i.e. innate nonverbal signal recognition). An aspie woman - if she is marginally attractive or 'average' in physical features - will be hit on constantly by guys, and sooner or later will wind up agreeing to go out with someone that 'clicks' her interest.

Actually, I'd also like to make one point at that. Since it seems many aspie women are blunt, introverted and are not usually interested in the things that their nt counterparts are, that makes them more of a commodity to NT males. Who wouldnt want to go out with a girl that likes science/videogames, is completely honest and not too much into what'son MTV?

not every aspie wants to exclusively date other aspies. while there is a large gender imbalance between male and female aspies numberwise(4 to 1 i think?) and will most probably be at aspie group meetings, we can't assume that their potential dating pool will have the same imbalance.

yes aspie girls, like all girls, will have an eaiser time "getting laid" than guys. why? because women who are promiscous are condemned as sluts and whores by our patriarchal society while similiar men are celebrated as "players". it's the subsequent repression of female sexuality that causes this disparity in access between men and women. and this patriarchal double standard screws over less sociable males like aspie guys who would find life easier if women could express their sexuality however they want to(women would probably be more liberated and "easier" then without the stigma) and there wouldn't be such a disparity in access to "getting laid" between the sexes.

(i think i got my point across. so used to nts not understanding what i'm trying to say that i'm skittish about everything i write or say.)

Yeah that's true... lol of course, this whole thing almost brings me back to the feeling of letsgoblues, etc.

He's made a lot of assumptions about lots of things so apparently even though his profile says family member with AS, he's got a ways to learn about AS and women too it seems.

what's to say that aspie girls are passive and will find someone that interests them among these guys that seem to be "hitting on them all the time" as some suggest? can't aspie girls have crushes and fancies on guys who don't ask them out and might not be interested in them?

i don't see why the traditional patriarchal courting customs are seen as easier for women. men ask out whoever they want to and women accept the man that "clicks" with her. well in this system, girls don't get to chase and pursue the men they want. it's actually worse for them. guys can dream and have an opportunity to get the woman they want, women have to settle for a more restricted dating pool. what if the guy she wants doesn't ask her?