Attractive Girls that Seem Aloof because they're Quiet

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If I was a girl I'd walk up to random guys talking about car parts and Yellow Magic Orchestra and how I just squatted 185 for a double and it was really cool.

I dunno, theres a couple of interesting looking girls at my school who I see a lot who are quiet and rarely smile.. and something about them just screams "f**k off and don't talk to me"...

I met a girl who seemed like that, then I realized she (likely) had AS/NVLD like me after getting to talk to her a bit. Too bad I've not seen her in forever. Oh well. I swear she seemed like the closest thing to a female clone of me I've met.

One of them wears the most fascinating hats.. usually Owls.. I really do need to just say to hell with it and go talk to her..

I used to do that, but then I realized 4/5 of them probably do hate you and probably don't want you talking to them. But there's a likelihood 1/5 will be cooler than average.

I'm transfering at the end of the semester anyway sooo if nothing comes of it.. she only has to put up with me for 6 weeks or so.

Does that mean you wrote it? Or are you just a big fan?

Big fan. I mean it's sorta impossible for me to have written it, being 22 and the song being from like 1980.

I have an attractive friend who realized in her later years why she'd grown sort of aloof. When she was younger, she used to be fairly outgoing...but every insecure guy thought she was hitting on them when in fact she was just being nice to them. She got tired of having to deal with it (their anger, rejection, stalking), so she closed off, became less open. Basically a defensive mechanism.

The answer really isn't 'become less aloof' at least in my friend's case. In her case, it was become more open in situations where she was looking for romance etc. I think I remained friends with her for so long because I never thought of our relationship as more than friendship.

that reminds me of someone i used to work with recently. she looked a bit like the actress from Hunger Games & Silver Linings Playbook, but maybe prettier. i am not a great judge of that, just that men seemed to be attracted to her a lot at first.

but she came across as cold. i think she might have suffered from extreme social anxiety, to the degree that she kept very closely to herself. but when someone is that bad it's impossible to tell if they are actually shy or just really really cold. i tried talking to her myself a couple of times, and smiled at her, but got no real response. same with a very nice male friend of mine from that workplace.

since she came across as an ice queen, people stopped trying to approach her, and her level of attractiveness shifted in the men's eyes. they thought she acted like she was too good for them, so they kind of stuck her on the shelf as someone not worth pursuing. her lack of approachability affected her chances of dating.

she probably wasn't interested in dating the people who talked to her anyways, so it was likely a moot point. but your question reminded me how hard it can be for people who come across a certain way, even if they might just be shy on the inside. i think attractiveness can work AGAINST some people who are naturally shy, because a less attractive woman who keeps to herself might be assumed to be shy, whereas an attractive person who is shy might be assumed to be snobby.

Or what do you do for work? *brick wall* I can relate to your first post and this one. This sort of reaction, which as you say is normal for people not on the spectrum... but it pushes me further into my shell because I don't have the 'normal' answers myself either. I have more friends this way. Which I'm starting to feel is just the way it's gonna be.

Argh. That's how I was when I worked in an office and was directly called an ice queen. Until then, I had no idea how I came across. I just don't do that fake smile and bs thing that girls are apparently expected to do more than guys and was often not very responsive because either 1) I didn't know what to say. My conversational skills in person are very bad. or 2) Mind focused on something else. I wasn't comfortable being in the office environment at all, which didn't help. I didn't want to be there.

I was told by someone who's known me a while that I come across a little intimidating. This shocked me, since in social situations I'm usually just feeling kinda moronic and insecure about that. I can't figure out what is intimidating.

Exactly.

I'm quiet and many people have considered me cold as well. I don't really care about what some think. Some outgoing people also get angry when I don't open up and they think I'm acting stuck-up. Of course, I just need time to open up. But for the boys issue. All or most of my ex's were outspoken and talked to me first; and I always liked them because they didn't think I was stuck up or anything, they just could tell I was shy and nice.

She likely to end up with a pompous argent man I know it doesn't answer you Question but based on If a woman looks aloof this type will be aggressive enough to talk to her. Sad but true. The good news we can change our behaviors, Ive done this with grate results lately.