Age difference

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gotwake
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 12 Apr 2012
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27 May 2013, 7:14 am

We are still seeing each other. We are very happy and spend a lot of time around each other, I have hung out with her daughter many times. Everything seems to be at a right pace, and I dont care about age, because I just love being around her.

appletheclown
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27 May 2013, 7:39 am

Gotwake, you are a lucky man. Good on you for giving her a chance when she has a kid. She must feel really lucky to go out with a man in his prime like you!

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Roch
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Joined: 15 Mar 2013
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27 May 2013, 10:42 am

Hi gotwake

You're not alone. My aspie partner and I have a 22 year age gap and have been together for 5 years, he's 30 and I'm 52 now. We're blissfully happy despite the adjustments we've had to make since living together. We didn't know about the aspergers until living together highlighted various parts of him that he'd managed to keep hidden while we were dating. We're taking it slow and at a pace that he's happy with, there doesn't feel like any rush. I sometimes wonder if me being more mature has helped our relationship, and I'm not totally sure a younger version of me would have stuck around long enough to see how amazing he is, so for us it's working. My adult children really like him and appreciate the happiness that he's brought me, and I think the same could be said of his family. Good luck to you.

Chrisicus
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Joined: 14 Nov 2012
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27 May 2013, 10:44 am

If it works for you, fair enough and fair play. Personally, I'm 20, wouldn't date a girl younger then 18 or older then 25 but that's just my opinion!

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Misslizard
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27 May 2013, 6:09 pm

Older men are bossy.My ex was 12 years older than me.Younger men seem to be easier to get along with.My adopted mom's hubby was 10 years younger and they were together till they both died.
If you are both happy than it does not matter what other people think.

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Ferrus91
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Joined: 25 Apr 2013
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27 May 2013, 6:21 pm

I had an online and briefly real life relationship with someone thirty years older than me. Like all my attempts at this it did not survive real life, at least not the second time I visited. But we are still close friends and she encouraged me more to see my autistic side. It was a rewarding thing really despite my disappointment at us drifting. I often wonder if, whether male or female there is much to be said for a close friend somewhat older than you in the early years of adulthood. It was certainly the ideal, albeit it given the essential misogyny of such societies always male - in classical antiquity.

happymusic
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27 May 2013, 9:06 pm

It sounds fun - I'd just enjoy it. I know someone who is about 20 years older than her boyfriend and it makes no difference. Whatever works.

ChromaticRaven
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Joined: 19 May 2013
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29 May 2013, 4:24 pm

Age gaps, as in the guy being younger than the woman is often times considered strange, compared to a man being older (actually often a lot) than the woman. I get that the older person is support to be the protector of the younger in the relationship sort of, and that's why society find it more acceptable for the man being older than the woman and not the other way around. Still - The important thing here isn't what other people might think - What you want is what matters. The both of you are legal, and if you like her why not? It's your life, your choices to make. As long as you are happy So in my opinion, if your heart is in for it - give it a try.

I know what your talking about to, i also find it hard to connect with guys my own age, the maturity difference is also the same problem i see. Guys my own age often then to act like childish, so i prefer guys being 4 years older at least.

Kurgan
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06 Jun 2013, 12:19 pm

My ex was 8 years older than me; she was no more mature by any means, though.

Dantac
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06 Jun 2013, 3:05 pm

ChromaticRaven wrote:

I know what your talking about to, i also find it hard to connect with guys my own age, the maturity difference is also the same problem i see. Guys my own age often then to act like childish, so i prefer guys being 4 years older at least.

A 4 year gap is still within your generation though. He'd have to be 10 years older for there to be some sort of difference in the environment the two of you grew up in, values and behaviors.

I've known couples that had 20 year gaps and were absurdly happy. I know couples that were the exact same age and were miserable. Its all up to the individuals. So if the two of you are happy.. go for it... but be fully aware of what you're getting yourself into.

greengeek
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06 Jun 2013, 9:52 pm

I just turned 22 today and my girlfriend is 30. I haven't seen her since September because I got her parents angry, but she said that she still loved me even though she was under pressure.

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klaus
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Joined: 5 May 2013
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07 Jun 2013, 4:10 am

And the most depressing post of the year award goes to....

Looneytunes wrote:

'm not quite sure what the problem is here.
If she is 42 and you are 24 - emotionally - you are probably looking for a mother figure, someone to take care of you.
She is probably looking for her youth - someone to hang out with and act like a kid again.

When I was 29 my GF was just 18.
It presented all kinds of conflicts - mostly that she was immature and when we broke up, it was not pretty.
We have a daughter together and I have not any interactions with my daughter for 12 years except recently when I tried to reunite with her and she took me to court - a couple of months ago to get me to stop coming around - she is now 18 and her head is polluted by all the garbage her mother said about me for the last 12 years..

You need to look at both sides of the picture - how many kids does this woman have and how old are they?
If she has no kids - and is not married and has never been married, a red flag goes up and the question becomes WHY!
I would be cautious because it looks like a midlife crisis to me and when she changes her mind - they always do - you will be left all by yourself wondering why things did not work out.

Life is a lot like a calendar.
Just think of the 12 months as being 7 year segments of your life.
The first 7 - you are dependent upon your parents to provide for you.
The second 7 - you are a little more independent - but you still need your parents to provide the basic necessities of life for you.
The third 7 - you get a drivers license, become a little more independent, graduate from school. go to school or get a job and start living life.
The fourth 7 years - is usually when you meet someone, fall in love, have children, start a family, establish yourself in the world.
The fifth 7 - you raise your children, go to work every day, try to keep your head above water.
The sixth 7 years - you struggle with money, children going to college and house payments and relationships. This is where many marriages fails.
The seventh - 7 years - you manage to put your life back together, pay off most everything that you own, get your kids out of the house, maybe down size to a smaller house and start planning for retirement. 49 years old.
The eighth - 7 years - your kids starts to have kids, you now have grandchildren, the money cycle starts all over and if you are lucky - none of them fails in their relationships and asks to move back home.
The ninth - if you planned for it, you can retire and then you can sit around the house and wonder who is this woman I married.
You realize that it is too late to go out and look for another one - so you accept the fact that you are stuck with each other and you try to make the best of it.

You pick up a hobby, do the chores around the house you neglected all these years, go on vacations, go to visit the kids blow some money on gambling.

Before you know it, you are 80 years old and too old to go out of the house and do much of anything and all you have left to do is to pray to god that he will take you while you sleep so you don't have to suffer somewhere in a old folks home.

A quote from the movie - Grumpy Old Men - when Burgess Meredith said - you wake up one morning and you realize that I'm not 81 anymore!

AnonymousAnonymous
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07 Jun 2013, 2:29 pm

My GF and I are both the same age.

How do I know this? We went to the same school when we were kids.

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corkyviolet
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Joined: 28 Apr 2013
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07 Jun 2013, 4:02 pm

there is a ten year age gap between me and my aspie bf; i'm older. so far, so good...

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