to text or not to text

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don't worry, the last girl I was involved with we mostly communicated via text. Its not too bizarre.

Was she NT/AS? Was she content communicating in that way?

You're certainly coming across as very needy and demanding. I don't think this has anything to do with your boyfriend, and his being AS is irrelevant, other than you using it as a flimsy excuse to deflect attention from your neediness. This is about you and your expectations. It's your problem, not his.

It's not like you're asking for alot, surely one can't respond to everything immediatly but a bit of acknowledgement and knowing you're wanted is nice. Like, just one night every now and then where you keep texting until you fall asleep or something would be nice, right? It's not as if you expect him to talk every other minute. It's healthy and okay for that to happen.

she was NT

Was she NT/AS? Was she content communicating in that way?

Ok... this I'm not getting. Maybe I'm old-fashioned here, but to me love means respecting somebody & liking who they are naturally instead of trying to control them. It means that seeing this person happy makes you happy.

I don't think it's reasonable to think anyone would be happy if someone demands they text back within x amount of time. This is the kind of thing a parent asks of a child. In a relationship of equals, this is demeaning. This gentleman may have AS, but he isn't a child. Someone used the phrase "electronic leash." I thought of that, too.

Some people said he needs to understand you, but I think it's not one-way. While you believe you are exhibiting a lot of control in not texting him all day, his experience may be that the amount you do text is a virtual bombardment. Texting & phone calls are not only loud but can interrupt whatever you are trying to work on or do. It isn't about how much you love somebody. Some people need to devote certain time blocks to certain things. It doesn't mean they don't care.

Perhaps you can have regularly scheduled date-nights & see each other in person? By regularly, I mean an amount that makes sense to both of you. :)

If you can't accept him for who he is, and want him to be something he isn't- somebody who wants to text you every day- than perhaps he isn't the right guy for you.

Relationships are best when your needs just happen to match someone else's, not when you have to bend into something you aren't then demand someone else bends into something he's not. It sounds like a very uncomfortable & unhappy relationship for both of you!

In my experience, love is more comfortable. You get to just be who you are & it all works out.

I find texting gives me a chance to look over what I am going to say better, so I am actually more polite in written forms of communication such as this.

thanks for the feedback, everyone. since this post, some things have happened. 1, my bf has stated his love for me, 2, we talked about frequency of seeing one another and agreed that we would see each other at least twice a week (since we work out together on sundays and wednesdays), and 3. i do not text anything that requires an answer unless absolutely necessary (like where are you so i can come pick you up), and i do not text as often as i used to.

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This is excellent! I think all too often we seek fulfillment from another person. To be honest and objective with yourself is possibly one of the hardest things to do, especially when the outcome isn't pleasurable.