Bad Dating Profiles

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Oh my god. I joined POF and it's an utter cesspool of humanity with very, very few exceptions. Most of the male profiles read like this:

"Heyyyyy i lik outdors hockey and an honest pretty wuman 4 good times. If u wanna know more ask me anything! maybe we could go 4 a walk by the river."

The profile picture is usually so grainy that you can't make them out, or of a man with a beer belly so large he hasn't seen his feet since the nineties (yet, they want a woman who takes care of herself), or he's got a giant beard, a hat, and sunglasses so you can't tell if you're meeting the uni-bomber or ... what...

I notice that it's more common among Aspies-and-related to look "normal" but on the inside to have the introversion needs much more severe than the looks suggest. I've observed this during face-to-face Aspie group meetings, too.

And a surprising number of us have adopted NT-like "temporary thick skin" and "casual conversational habits" that can be sustained for socializing and fooling NTs.

I am "normal" looking, which gets "normal" women messaging me on OkCupid, but on the inside I have the introversion and computery obsession levels of a 350lbs neckbearded nerd stereotype.

I don't want to be dragged to clubs, parties and rollercoaster rides and scuba diving just because that's where extroverts get their thrills. Being stuck in such a relationship feels like being a cat toy, flung across the apartment all day, every day.

So when they message me with generic things, it's just so... bland. So they noticed that I am not a loser or a crazy or a fat person. That's great for them. But I have no interest in them, regardless of the symmetry of their facial features.

I keep looking for someone suitably different, and every time I end up noticing that Aspie women are a lot closer to this. These are relationships where mutual acceptance and understanding could be found, two people against the world.

I used to think that two people against the world is a destructive and naive point of view, but over time I keep arriving to conclusion that, no matter how much I try and stretch myself into NT territory, my core is what it is.

I am looking for someone who is more about a shared tolerance of the outside world, about a mutually understood controlled intake of loud social occasions, rather than reveling in it all. Someone creative, with an inner world...

Well I have been told by some friends that although my writing is nice enough I am not writing to the right audience on this. Which is sort of depressing as I really would rather not write that sort of thing out of some kind of societal compulsion as it is manifestly false.

Dumb people are going to read this and see you as a smartass who is full of himself, possibly also get their feelings hurt because they see your profile as talking down to them. Sharper people are going to see you as trying too hard to be witty/putting on airs. This sort of expression is so uncommon, most people won't believe that this could be a natural way for anyone to write or talk.

Well I do not consciously set out to write like that, I just end up doing so reflexively when given a large word count and no one in particular to talk to. My university essays end up the same.

There has to be a compromise between sounding pretentious and dumber than a bag of hair. Honestly, I'd much rather message the guy with the "pretentious" sounding profile than the one that looks like it was written by a drunk four year old.