Aspie's Guide To Girls

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I got a not from a chick who was asking me out, it was heaps good at first but after the first 2 weeks the rest of the year was all hell, it destroyed me, lol.

The first step in dating is to become desensitized to rejection: that is, being able to be turned down without being upset. It's important to talk to women, meet women, and get comfortable around the opposite sex even if you aren't making any "advances." This will make you less nervous when you do have that goal in mind.

If you don't know the girl, it's ridiculous to have developed such strong feelings towards her. Rather than pining over her in secret, it's best to walk up to her and say and briefly express some interest in her (but not a love ballad!).

Some women might go for the notes if you come across as shy and sensitive, but even then do not write pages of obsessive pining. The important things about dating is nonchalance. You should not come across as needy or desperate, and you should be developing your romantic feelings at about the same pace as your significant other/date. If the feelings don't match, that's a sign of possible incompatibility. Deep feelings of attraction develop over the initial enthusiasm or lust for a new partner, and this deeper love can take months to set in. It's a bad idea to say, "I love you," to someone unless you really mean it.

What kind of relationship is it then?

In any case, I think most people have SOMETHING in common, even if their interests are very different. They may live in the same place, attend the same school, etc.

The kind of relationship that involves either money, or a one night stand, or if you're lucky, a booty call Or if you're really really lucky, what they call a ****buddy (you know what I mean)...long-term one-night-stand Not exactly girlfriend/boyfriend material but hey, no inhibitions!

Indeed you do need to have something in common with someone to have a relationship...but if it's just what school you go to, after hours of you talking about the intricacies 3D chess (for example) and hours of her talking about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's marriage problems (for example), you may tire of each other There is the issue of compatibility, which is what the whole things-in-common thing is about...though you don't need to go to the same extent as some. My guy and I are both Subaru-obsessed and each own the same model (Impreza HX20s), have similar things we want to do to the darn things...there's no end of talk with us! (earplugs plz...)

I have tried a not, and many times it has not worked; afterwards they think that you are just creepy.

That's why I have my own friends, and like it when girls have lots of friends themselves. That way we both can discuss our primary interests with someone and don't have to rely on our sexual partners to also fulfill that function.

I do realize that I view the topic of relationships rather differently that the general population. In fact one of the main reasons I decided to start posting on Wrong Planet was to see if I could find people here who would understand me in that regard. Reading other people's posts on here makes it clear that my views are by no means universal among people on the autism spectrum, but I still think they may be more common among us than within the NT population. I'm about to start a new thread specifically asking how many people can relate to my feelings on this important subject.

At high school, I thought no boys liked me so I would have been thrilled to get a note from one.