all women I meet seem to be insensitive jerks
26 Jun 2013, 1:03 am
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
I am not abusing anyone. Honestly typical female response. They can do whatever they want but now I am some abusive jerk. Honestly I am really upset.
I should be able to attract the right person who is good for me. I was not being abusive. I got some issues and instead of bullying people maybe you should try understanding instead of berating me. Dang!
I should be able to attract the right person who is good for me. I was not being abusive. I got some issues and instead of bullying people maybe you should try understanding instead of berating me. Dang!
I don't see how you were bullied. You were given advice. It might have been delievered fairly directly, but there were no insults or anything that I saw.
No it is really insulting and now everyone is going to start ganging up on me. Honestly I really dislike direct feedback that sounds like telling me I will never get anything. There is nothing I can do about the fact that I have AS. I try hard every day. I had to fend for myself when I was constantly getting into trouble because people were ignorant. Abused people go wrong and then people continue to keep ypu down there.
A lot of people have AS and they continue to do well for themselves because they realise that having AS isn't an excuse for anything. No, you can't cure your AS, but you can learn stratagies to help you navagate this world with millions of people who are all different and who all have their own problems. It's up to you though to realise that you need to work on yourself and then go out and do it. No one in this world has to do anything, but that choice comes with consequences.
I think its ridiculous that no matter what has been done to you you have no right to explode. Sorry this is the way I have been for 30 years. No one has really told me how to stop meltdowns. Once it starts you cannot stop it. If people want to think I am crazy I don't care because they are wrong. I am actually a good person but when someone leads me on and then pulls all kinds of lies. I find it hard not to justify my anger. Sorry I guess I have always lived by eye for an eye. Probably because I was left to my own devices. I tried to handle my situation of bullying back in high school by retaliating. I will never apologize to any of those people. They deserved it. They had no right to push me around and you have to stand up for yourself otherwise they think you are weak.
There's standing up for yourself then there's being childish, which is what lashing out is. When you lash out, people feel justified in ditching you.
You do have a right to explode, you just don't have a right to make other people feel threatened. Everyone explodes, they just do it in different ways to you. Some people cry while stuffing their faces and watching chick flicks, others go to the gym and work out until they drop, some throw themselves into work, others take solace in their family and friends.
Okay so maybe people should not feel threatened. Why are people so weak. How am I supposed to stand up for myself when no one shows me how. No one ever cared to show me when I was younger how to deal with bullies. I thought I had to show dominance. Honestly women are different than men so they do not understand how men tend to be more aggressive.
I have dealt with things by getting angry my whole as nothing else makes sense. People that are backed into a corner lash out that is human evolution. What happens when you corner an animal they retaliate. This is just normal human fight or flight response. We are hard wired that way.
Society is always going to say I am wrong. I am on the outside and I guess I have anti-social tendancies that cause me to hide in a room by myself. But I am not a crazy person. I do not have any psychotic disorders of any kind and plus I know right from wrong and I know that fighting is wrong. Honestly I meant no harm in what I did to these recent women. You have to look at it from my perspective. They were being impossible.
Honestly I backed off from it and let it go. I would never physically harm a woman. They were just phone calls and I was mostly frantic trying to understand why they all of a sudden cut it off. I did not threaten them in any way with violence or anything like that. So I called one too many times big deal. It is not my fault that people are afraid of their own shadow.
Last edited by punkguy378 on 26 Jun 2013, 1:08 am, edited 2 times in total.
26 Jun 2013, 1:05 am
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
I am not abusing anyone. Honestly typical female response. They can do whatever they want but now I am some abusive jerk. Honestly I am really upset.
I should be able to attract the right person who is good for me. I was not being abusive. I got some issues and instead of bullying people maybe you should try understanding instead of berating me. Dang!
I should be able to attract the right person who is good for me. I was not being abusive. I got some issues and instead of bullying people maybe you should try understanding instead of berating me. Dang!
I don't see how you were bullied. You were given advice. It might have been delievered fairly directly, but there were no insults or anything that I saw.
No it is really insulting and now everyone is going to start ganging up on me. Honestly I really dislike direct feedback that sounds like telling me I will never get anything. There is nothing I can do about the fact that I have AS. I try hard every day. I had to fend for myself when I was constantly getting into trouble because people were ignorant. Abused people go wrong and then people continue to keep ypu down there.
A lot of people have AS and they continue to do well for themselves because they realise that having AS isn't an excuse for anything. No, you can't cure your AS, but you can learn stratagies to help you navagate this world with millions of people who are all different and who all have their own problems. It's up to you though to realise that you need to work on yourself and then go out and do it. No one in this world has to do anything, but that choice comes with consequences.
I think its ridiculous that no matter what has been done to you you have no right to explode. Sorry this is the way I have been for 30 years. No one has really told me how to stop meltdowns. Once it starts you cannot stop it. If people want to think I am crazy I don't care because they are wrong. I am actually a good person but when someone leads me on and then pulls all kinds of lies. I find it hard not to justify my anger. Sorry I guess I have always lived by eye for an eye. Probably because I was left to my own devices. I tried to handle my situation of bullying back in high school by retaliating. I will never apologize to any of those people. They deserved it. They had no right to push me around and you have to stand up for yourself otherwise they think you are weak.
There's standing up for yourself then there's being childish, which is what lashing out is. When you lash out, people feel justified in ditching you.
You do have a right to explode, you just don't have a right to make other people feel threatened. Everyone explodes, they just do it in different ways to you. Some people cry while stuffing their faces and watching chick flicks, others go to the gym and work out until they drop, some throw themselves into work, others take solace in their family and friends.
Okay so maybe people should not feel threatened. Why are people so weak. How am I supposed to stand up for myself when no one shows me how. No one ever cared to show me when I was younger how to deal with bullies. I thought I had to show dominance. Honestly women are different than men so they do not understand how men tend to be more aggressive.
I have dealt with things by getting angry my whole as nothing else makes sense. People that are backed into a corner lash out that is human evolution. What happens when you corner an animal they retaliate. This is just normal human fight or flight response. We are hard wired that way.
I like to think I am evolved enough to work past my hard-wiring, and I have done many times throughout my life. And men and women like to think that they're vastly different, but the thing is we're all human, which makes us more alike than anything.
Have you ever looked at getting professional help to deal with your issues?
_________________
"It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it."
Gordon, "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends: Whistles and Sneezes"
http://www.normalautistic.blogspot.com.au - please read and leave a comment!
26 Jun 2013, 1:10 am
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
I am not abusing anyone. Honestly typical female response. They can do whatever they want but now I am some abusive jerk. Honestly I am really upset.
I should be able to attract the right person who is good for me. I was not being abusive. I got some issues and instead of bullying people maybe you should try understanding instead of berating me. Dang!
I should be able to attract the right person who is good for me. I was not being abusive. I got some issues and instead of bullying people maybe you should try understanding instead of berating me. Dang!
I don't see how you were bullied. You were given advice. It might have been delievered fairly directly, but there were no insults or anything that I saw.
No it is really insulting and now everyone is going to start ganging up on me. Honestly I really dislike direct feedback that sounds like telling me I will never get anything. There is nothing I can do about the fact that I have AS. I try hard every day. I had to fend for myself when I was constantly getting into trouble because people were ignorant. Abused people go wrong and then people continue to keep ypu down there.
A lot of people have AS and they continue to do well for themselves because they realise that having AS isn't an excuse for anything. No, you can't cure your AS, but you can learn stratagies to help you navagate this world with millions of people who are all different and who all have their own problems. It's up to you though to realise that you need to work on yourself and then go out and do it. No one in this world has to do anything, but that choice comes with consequences.
I think its ridiculous that no matter what has been done to you you have no right to explode. Sorry this is the way I have been for 30 years. No one has really told me how to stop meltdowns. Once it starts you cannot stop it. If people want to think I am crazy I don't care because they are wrong. I am actually a good person but when someone leads me on and then pulls all kinds of lies. I find it hard not to justify my anger. Sorry I guess I have always lived by eye for an eye. Probably because I was left to my own devices. I tried to handle my situation of bullying back in high school by retaliating. I will never apologize to any of those people. They deserved it. They had no right to push me around and you have to stand up for yourself otherwise they think you are weak.
There's standing up for yourself then there's being childish, which is what lashing out is. When you lash out, people feel justified in ditching you.
You do have a right to explode, you just don't have a right to make other people feel threatened. Everyone explodes, they just do it in different ways to you. Some people cry while stuffing their faces and watching chick flicks, others go to the gym and work out until they drop, some throw themselves into work, others take solace in their family and friends.
Okay so maybe people should not feel threatened. Why are people so weak. How am I supposed to stand up for myself when no one shows me how. No one ever cared to show me when I was younger how to deal with bullies. I thought I had to show dominance. Honestly women are different than men so they do not understand how men tend to be more aggressive.
I have dealt with things by getting angry my whole as nothing else makes sense. People that are backed into a corner lash out that is human evolution. What happens when you corner an animal they retaliate. This is just normal human fight or flight response. We are hard wired that way.
I like to think I am evolved enough to work past my hard-wiring, and I have done many times throughout my life. And men and women like to think that they're vastly different, but the thing is we're all human, which makes us more alike than anything.
Have you ever looked at getting professional help to deal with your issues?
I have gotten loads of professional help but it never works for some reason. I have been on countless meds and therapy sessions, AA for my drinking problem. Maybe the key here is AA because I think my anger is tied to not going to A and working a program. I think I have like "dry drunk syndrome" which is what they call it. Aggression in male alcoholics who are not in AA and not drinking is quite common. That is the key I think.
I guess the other woman sent two messages and just disappeared. Honestly I do not think I scared her too. Geez. Man I am not going to bite. Maybe I was too direct but she was really direct. I guess get of the kitchen if you cannot handle the fire.
I tried to get anger management but the only way is to get arrested for physical violence. I had to do it once a long time ago. I honestly do not hit people it is very very uncommon. Mostly just things get destroyed and I get yell or whatever.
26 Jun 2013, 1:24 am
I cannot take this anymore. Everyone keeps leaving me. I do not know how to change this. I mean it is just the way it is. There is nothing I can do. I mean there has to be a way. I am not that bad I just get upset and lose it.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
Who cares if you yell at someone after they already rejected you. It makes no difference after the fact. You should not reject based on silly ideas or the fact that I was weird. Bunch of bigots if you ask me. When are the aspies going to be recognized as a minority. We are treated badly over and over and they throw up their hands in disgust because they always think we need to change. I am tired of the status quo and always having to accomodate NTs and their slow minds. They never accomodate us in any way. Then you got Autism Speaks trying to prevent this issue from ever happening. Parents do not want their kids flawed and with AS. We do not need a cure. Society needs a cure.
26 Jun 2013, 1:29 am
Whatever everybody just run and hide. I am tired of being socially excluded and marginialized. All I want is for people to accept me flaws and all.
Honestly I am looking for a mother figure who can fix me. Any takers. Nah didn't think so.
Seriously the only NT woman stupid enough to date us are either masochistic or they love fixing peopleb because most of us are just called insensitive jerks when the reality is we are nicer than some NT men. Women always seem to hate the kind gentle,am because we are too boring or we are like a welcome mat. You cannot please anyone. No matter what we do we are screwed.
Why is it women who gave me this advice. You should of just left it alone. Seriously making comments like this to someone who has trouble controlling anger. Makes no sense.
Last edited by punkguy378 on 26 Jun 2013, 1:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
26 Jun 2013, 1:31 am
punkguy378 wrote:
I cannot take this anymore. Everyone keeps leaving me. I do not know how to change this. I mean it is just the way it is. There is nothing I can do. I mean there has to be a way. I am not that bad I just get upset and lose it.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
Actuallly, I understand very well about meltdowns, and so would my ex. He probably still has the bite marks.
punkguy378 wrote:
Who cares if you yell at someone after they already rejected you. It makes no difference after the fact. You should not reject based on silly ideas or the fact that I was weird. Bunch of bigots if you ask me. When are the aspies going to be recognized as a minority. We are treated badly over and over and they throw up their hands in disgust because they always think we need to change. I am tired of the status quo and always having to accomodate NTs and their slow minds. They never accomodate us in any way. Then you got Autism Speaks trying to prevent this issue from ever happening. Parents do not want their kids flawed and with AS. We do not need a cure. Society needs a cure.
Possibly the next person you run into? If people know that you've exploded at people you have rejected in the past, they are going to stay away from you.
And mate, 100% of people in this world have traits that they have had to work on. NT, AS, whatever. 100% of people have problems, 100% of people have their own darkness to face. It's easy to throw up your hands and say "Why can't the rest of the world change for me?" when everyone else in the world has had to change already to fit into this world. You might not see it, because not everyone has to make such drastic changes, but they're there.
_________________
"It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it."
Gordon, "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends: Whistles and Sneezes"
http://www.normalautistic.blogspot.com.au - please read and leave a comment!
26 Jun 2013, 1:39 am
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
I cannot take this anymore. Everyone keeps leaving me. I do not know how to change this. I mean it is just the way it is. There is nothing I can do. I mean there has to be a way. I am not that bad I just get upset and lose it.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
Actuallly, I understand very well about meltdowns, and so would my ex. He probably still has the bite marks.
punkguy378 wrote:
Who cares if you yell at someone after they already rejected you. It makes no difference after the fact. You should not reject based on silly ideas or the fact that I was weird. Bunch of bigots if you ask me. When are the aspies going to be recognized as a minority. We are treated badly over and over and they throw up their hands in disgust because they always think we need to change. I am tired of the status quo and always having to accomodate NTs and their slow minds. They never accomodate us in any way. Then you got Autism Speaks trying to prevent this issue from ever happening. Parents do not want their kids flawed and with AS. We do not need a cure. Society needs a cure.
Possibly the next person you run into? If people know that you've exploded at people you have rejected in the past, they are going to stay away from you.
And mate, 100% of people in this world have traits that they have had to work on. NT, AS, whatever. 100% of people have problems, 100% of people have their own darkness to face. It's easy to throw up your hands and say "Why can't the rest of the world change for me?" when everyone else in the world has had to change already to fit into this world. You might not see it, because not everyone has to make such drastic changes, but they're there.
I know you are right. I am not sure where to begin though. I have about 100 things that I need to work on and none of it gets done. Oh brother. This is just too much to handle. But I know I can still look for another relationship and start fresh. I mean do you know what happens to a 33 year old man who has never had a relationship with a woman, sex or anything. The frustration is pretty intense. And to say I am not desparate would be an understatement. Kind of hard to control your hormones you know and mine are just too strong it is unbearable. And now I am supposed to pretend I am not because god makes it so woman hate desperation. Makes zero sense and its counterproductive.
I just want to find what everyone else has. I am so tired of all my friends in relationships or married and here I am all alone with no one.
I was really nice to this woman and she all of a sudden had no connection when we met in person. She was flirting with me online saying how attractive I was sent like 25 pics. She kept talking about us together. Then we meet and she comes up with some bullcrap story about how her brother was in the hospital and had to leave after me driving an hour an half to go on a date for 45 minutes. She basically disowned me by email after she lied straight to my face that we would reschedule. She basically said "oh I am thinking about someone I used to be with and I am not ready for something new" Anybody would be furious sorry I just do not have much tact and asperger men always end up coming across as creepy. I am worthless.
26 Jun 2013, 1:49 am
Kjas wrote:
You are a mess (your words, not mine). You know you are a mess.
Instead of finding women to fix, how about spending that time fixing you?
The real problem here is your lack of investment in yourself, and your lack of self control, and lack of personal responsibility for your own actions.
Time to take some personal responsibility here.
If a woman pisses you off - go beat up your pillows or something.
But never, ever, ever call them 10 times, hurl verbal abuse at them, or otherwise show them that you are pissed without any self control.
And yes, as long as you are a mess, you will attract messed up women. That should be giving you double incentive to deal with your own issues and put yourself first and start changing that.
Instead of finding women to fix, how about spending that time fixing you?
The real problem here is your lack of investment in yourself, and your lack of self control, and lack of personal responsibility for your own actions.
Time to take some personal responsibility here.
If a woman pisses you off - go beat up your pillows or something.
But never, ever, ever call them 10 times, hurl verbal abuse at them, or otherwise show them that you are pissed without any self control.
And yes, as long as you are a mess, you will attract messed up women. That should be giving you double incentive to deal with your own issues and put yourself first and start changing that.
Yeah right you try to go work on yourself and wait another five years to meet a woman. I have already waited 18 years ir whatever. You have no idea since you probably had your first relationship at 20. You cannot comprehend what it's like. "oh go work on yourself some more you are not ready for a relationship" What?! !! Do you know how longn I have waited. Didn't think so.
26 Jun 2013, 1:53 am
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
I cannot take this anymore. Everyone keeps leaving me. I do not know how to change this. I mean it is just the way it is. There is nothing I can do. I mean there has to be a way. I am not that bad I just get upset and lose it.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
Actuallly, I understand very well about meltdowns, and so would my ex. He probably still has the bite marks.
punkguy378 wrote:
Who cares if you yell at someone after they already rejected you. It makes no difference after the fact. You should not reject based on silly ideas or the fact that I was weird. Bunch of bigots if you ask me. When are the aspies going to be recognized as a minority. We are treated badly over and over and they throw up their hands in disgust because they always think we need to change. I am tired of the status quo and always having to accomodate NTs and their slow minds. They never accomodate us in any way. Then you got Autism Speaks trying to prevent this issue from ever happening. Parents do not want their kids flawed and with AS. We do not need a cure. Society needs a cure.
Possibly the next person you run into? If people know that you've exploded at people you have rejected in the past, they are going to stay away from you.
And mate, 100% of people in this world have traits that they have had to work on. NT, AS, whatever. 100% of people have problems, 100% of people have their own darkness to face. It's easy to throw up your hands and say "Why can't the rest of the world change for me?" when everyone else in the world has had to change already to fit into this world. You might not see it, because not everyone has to make such drastic changes, but they're there.
Wait a minute you are one to talk. Bite marks! Practice what you preach. Not sure why you are telling me I will get nothing when you were in a relationship and know exactly about aggression. Maybe you were joking? You obviously have been with AS guys so you know about meltdowns from that too. And you ended with one. Not sure why you would try and say I won't find a woman. Sounds hypocritical to me.
Please do not be offended by what I am saying here. I am not trying to be mean here.
Please
Kjas
Veteran
Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,059
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore
26 Jun 2013, 1:54 am
punkguy378 wrote:
[Yeah right you try to go work on yourself and wait another five years to meet a woman. I have already waited 18 years ir whatever. You have no idea since you probably had your first relationship at 20. You cannot comprehend what it's like. "oh go work on yourself some more you are not ready for a relationship" What?! !! Do you know how longn I have waited. Didn't think so.
Nobody is entitled to a relationship.
No one.
_________________
Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html
26 Jun 2013, 2:00 am
Kjas wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
I am not abusing anyone. Honestly typical female response. They can do whatever they want but now I am some abusive jerk. Honestly I am really upset.
I should be able to attract the right person who is good for me. I was not being abusive. I got some issues and instead of bullying people maybe you should try understanding instead of berating me. Dang!
I should be able to attract the right person who is good for me. I was not being abusive. I got some issues and instead of bullying people maybe you should try understanding instead of berating me. Dang!
I'm not trying to be an ass to you.
But you need to understand how this looks from the outside.
Taking our your anger on anyone just because you feel entitled to will make anyone run - male or female. I know a lot of women who do the same thing as you, and men flee from them too. It's because of the entitlement involved, regardless of which gender you are, it comes across and egotistical and desperate - even if you are just in severe pain. Other people don't like dealing with it, and they don't have to, so they won't. It sucks, but it's true.
If you continue to do things like that, at the best you get a reputation for it and people will avoid you - especially women. At the worst, because you are a man and losing your temper (unfortunately, this means you will be seen as more of a threat), you may end up with restraining orders against you.
How can they get a restraining order if I am not stalking them? I only did it for like one day and stopped I never threatened her in any way. Honestly you are making me out to be some monster. I backed off because I knew I was wrong. With AS I do this sometimes I mean no harm I just was upset. After rejecting she would not answer her calls and I just was trying to get her to answer. What is the problem. I di not really blow up I guess I made it sound worse than it was. I just called frantic because she would not talk to me because she was being extremely insensitive. Sorry if she tried to press charges I would tell them how she tormented me because she did.
Not sure why you will not talk about it anymore. Why are you being so mean? Seriously. two messages and then you just disappear way to go.
26 Jun 2013, 2:01 am
Kjas wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
[Yeah right you try to go work on yourself and wait another five years to meet a woman. I have already waited 18 years ir whatever. You have no idea since you probably had your first relationship at 20. You cannot comprehend what it's like. "oh go work on yourself some more you are not ready for a relationship" What?! !! Do you know how longn I have waited. Didn't think so.
Nobody is entitled to a relationship.
No one.
Seriously what is your problem with me? I never said I was entitled to anything. You minced words.
I am not saying that I would not work hard for a relationship. I would and I have. I never asked anyone to hand it to me. I just want a chance. That does not mean I think I am entitled to it. I basically would of done anything for this person for free and for fun. She wanted to be judgmental and cold because I did not look right or something onece we met. She was being completely unfair. I mean you give a guy 1 minute and you already know there will be no connection. What?! Makes no sense. I am just trying to make sense of why people keep rejecting me for no reason. I was completely nice to her up to that point.
And then I did not blow up on her. I got home and called her and she would not answer so I called a bunch of times. And that is it. Then we had a long drawn email string of messages back and forth. She was still talking to me in email. The basic of it is that she only wanted to talk online as friends at the ened.
Okay please can you explain to me since you are a woman yourself doesn;t flirting and sending messages like "Where are you? Do you miss me?" mean they are interested. Everytime I called her it wa like only three rings. She kept telling me to send pictures of myself saying how hot I was. She sent pictures of herself and then we kept talking about the day we would meet. Then we meet and its like night and day. She is almost completely cold to me for no reason. Well at first she was fine two hours later she is almost like "get the hell away from me you are a creep"
Last edited by punkguy378 on 26 Jun 2013, 2:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
26 Jun 2013, 2:05 am
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
I cannot take this anymore. Everyone keeps leaving me. I do not know how to change this. I mean it is just the way it is. There is nothing I can do. I mean there has to be a way. I am not that bad I just get upset and lose it.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
Actuallly, I understand very well about meltdowns, and so would my ex. He probably still has the bite marks.
punkguy378 wrote:
Who cares if you yell at someone after they already rejected you. It makes no difference after the fact. You should not reject based on silly ideas or the fact that I was weird. Bunch of bigots if you ask me. When are the aspies going to be recognized as a minority. We are treated badly over and over and they throw up their hands in disgust because they always think we need to change. I am tired of the status quo and always having to accomodate NTs and their slow minds. They never accomodate us in any way. Then you got Autism Speaks trying to prevent this issue from ever happening. Parents do not want their kids flawed and with AS. We do not need a cure. Society needs a cure.
Possibly the next person you run into? If people know that you've exploded at people you have rejected in the past, they are going to stay away from you.
And mate, 100% of people in this world have traits that they have had to work on. NT, AS, whatever. 100% of people have problems, 100% of people have their own darkness to face. It's easy to throw up your hands and say "Why can't the rest of the world change for me?" when everyone else in the world has had to change already to fit into this world. You might not see it, because not everyone has to make such drastic changes, but they're there.
Wait a minute you are one to talk. Bite marks! Practice what you preach. Not sure why you are telling me I will get nothing when you were in a relationship and know exactly about aggression. Maybe you were joking? You obviously have been with AS guys so you know about meltdowns from that too. And you ended with one. Not sure why you would try and say I won't find a woman. Sounds hypocritical to me.
Please do not be offended by what I am saying here. I am not trying to be mean here.
Please
I did practise what I preached. I got help. I haven't had a meltdown since I was 22 (25 in November). The thing is, that relationship ended. Badly. And I was hurt. But I learnt from my first mistake (I've only had one boyfriend) and I certainly won't do it again. When I broke up with my ex, I didn't get aggressive, I didn't lay blame or anything. I left and gave him the space he needecd to recover.
The thing is, he was as mentally unhealthy as I was. It was a damaging relationship which I wouldn't wish on anyone. There was no way any man or woman would have gone near me in the 12 months after that relationship - I was damaged and volitile. And I accepted that people would see me as such, it's their perogative.
_________________
"It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it."
Gordon, "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends: Whistles and Sneezes"
http://www.normalautistic.blogspot.com.au - please read and leave a comment!
26 Jun 2013, 2:12 am
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
I cannot take this anymore. Everyone keeps leaving me. I do not know how to change this. I mean it is just the way it is. There is nothing I can do. I mean there has to be a way. I am not that bad I just get upset and lose it.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
Actuallly, I understand very well about meltdowns, and so would my ex. He probably still has the bite marks.
punkguy378 wrote:
Who cares if you yell at someone after they already rejected you. It makes no difference after the fact. You should not reject based on silly ideas or the fact that I was weird. Bunch of bigots if you ask me. When are the aspies going to be recognized as a minority. We are treated badly over and over and they throw up their hands in disgust because they always think we need to change. I am tired of the status quo and always having to accomodate NTs and their slow minds. They never accomodate us in any way. Then you got Autism Speaks trying to prevent this issue from ever happening. Parents do not want their kids flawed and with AS. We do not need a cure. Society needs a cure.
Possibly the next person you run into? If people know that you've exploded at people you have rejected in the past, they are going to stay away from you.
And mate, 100% of people in this world have traits that they have had to work on. NT, AS, whatever. 100% of people have problems, 100% of people have their own darkness to face. It's easy to throw up your hands and say "Why can't the rest of the world change for me?" when everyone else in the world has had to change already to fit into this world. You might not see it, because not everyone has to make such drastic changes, but they're there.
Wait a minute you are one to talk. Bite marks! Practice what you preach. Not sure why you are telling me I will get nothing when you were in a relationship and know exactly about aggression. Maybe you were joking? You obviously have been with AS guys so you know about meltdowns from that too. And you ended with one. Not sure why you would try and say I won't find a woman. Sounds hypocritical to me.
Please do not be offended by what I am saying here. I am not trying to be mean here.
Please
I did practise what I preached. I got help. I haven't had a meltdown since I was 22 (25 in November). The thing is, that relationship ended. Badly. And I was hurt. But I learnt from my first mistake (I've only had one boyfriend) and I certainly won't do it again. When I broke up with my ex, I didn't get aggressive, I didn't lay blame or anything. I left and gave him the space he needecd to recover.
The thing is, he was as mentally unhealthy as I was. It was a damaging relationship which I wouldn't wish on anyone. There was no way any man or woman would have gone near me in the 12 months after that relationship - I was damaged and volitile. And I accepted that people would see me as such, it's their perogative.
How do you accept that? I mean at least you had a relationship. It's funny how people who get what they want complain about it when people like me cannot even get past the first date. I guess the grass is always greener on the otherside. This world and what it does to spins you every which way and then you just give up because there is no reason for existence except pain, misery and maybe the occasional happy moment.
I mean my life has basically consisted of doing any drug that I could get my hands on including becoming a full on alcoholic (it is in my genes grandfather and Uncle were alcoholics) and then get sober and continue to be lonely addicted to video games, sex, anything that can make the pain stop and none of it works and you are left a burnt out empty shell and you feel completely and utterly hopeless and empty like a bottomless pit.
26 Jun 2013, 2:22 am
punkguy378 wrote:
How do you accept that? I mean at least you had a relationship. It's funny how people who get what they want complain about it when people like me cannot even get past the first date. I guess the grass is always greener on the otherside. This world and what it does to spins you every which way and then you just give up because there is no reason for existence except pain, misery and maybe the occasional happy moment.
I mean my life has basically consisted of doing any drug that I could get my hands on including becoming a full on alcoholic (it is in my genes grandfather and Uncle were alcoholics) and then get sober and continue to be lonely addicted to video games, sex, anything that can make the pain stop and none of it works and you are left a burnt out empty shell and you feel completely and utterly hopeless and empty like a bottomless pit.
I mean my life has basically consisted of doing any drug that I could get my hands on including becoming a full on alcoholic (it is in my genes grandfather and Uncle were alcoholics) and then get sober and continue to be lonely addicted to video games, sex, anything that can make the pain stop and none of it works and you are left a burnt out empty shell and you feel completely and utterly hopeless and empty like a bottomless pit.
You've never had the pain of being with someone who claimed to love you, but expected you to be his doormat. My ex constantly played me off against his mother, she was like a third person in our relationship. He might of thought he loved me, but I don't think he knew what love was. It hurt so bad that I loved him so dearly and he wouldn't do anything to help make me happy, even though I tried so hard.
I have alcoholic genes too (my father's side, and my brother has got it too, although he's getting better) so I refuse to drink full stop. My addiction now is footy. Through footy I've made so many friends, and I've found someone who acknowledges me and is a lovely man (hopefully he feels the same about me! But if not, that's cool. That's his choice).
_________________
"It isn't wrong, but we just don't do it."
Gordon, "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends: Whistles and Sneezes"
http://www.normalautistic.blogspot.com.au - please read and leave a comment!
26 Jun 2013, 2:30 am
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
Kezzstar wrote:
punkguy378 wrote:
I cannot take this anymore. Everyone keeps leaving me. I do not know how to change this. I mean it is just the way it is. There is nothing I can do. I mean there has to be a way. I am not that bad I just get upset and lose it.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
It is easy for you to say when you don't understand. Sorry only male aspies understand. It is pointless to talk to aspie women about meltdowns because apparently they just cry or something. There is nothing wrong with getting upset with somebody when they treat you badly. I mean sorry that is just how I handle things.
Actuallly, I understand very well about meltdowns, and so would my ex. He probably still has the bite marks.
punkguy378 wrote:
Who cares if you yell at someone after they already rejected you. It makes no difference after the fact. You should not reject based on silly ideas or the fact that I was weird. Bunch of bigots if you ask me. When are the aspies going to be recognized as a minority. We are treated badly over and over and they throw up their hands in disgust because they always think we need to change. I am tired of the status quo and always having to accomodate NTs and their slow minds. They never accomodate us in any way. Then you got Autism Speaks trying to prevent this issue from ever happening. Parents do not want their kids flawed and with AS. We do not need a cure. Society needs a cure.
Possibly the next person you run into? If people know that you've exploded at people you have rejected in the past, they are going to stay away from you.
And mate, 100% of people in this world have traits that they have had to work on. NT, AS, whatever. 100% of people have problems, 100% of people have their own darkness to face. It's easy to throw up your hands and say "Why can't the rest of the world change for me?" when everyone else in the world has had to change already to fit into this world. You might not see it, because not everyone has to make such drastic changes, but they're there.
Wait a minute you are one to talk. Bite marks! Practice what you preach. Not sure why you are telling me I will get nothing when you were in a relationship and know exactly about aggression. Maybe you were joking? You obviously have been with AS guys so you know about meltdowns from that too. And you ended with one. Not sure why you would try and say I won't find a woman. Sounds hypocritical to me.
Please do not be offended by what I am saying here. I am not trying to be mean here.
Please
I did practise what I preached. I got help. I haven't had a meltdown since I was 22 (25 in November). The thing is, that relationship ended. Badly. And I was hurt. But I learnt from my first mistake (I've only had one boyfriend) and I certainly won't do it again. When I broke up with my ex, I didn't get aggressive, I didn't lay blame or anything. I left and gave him the space he needecd to recover.
The thing is, he was as mentally unhealthy as I was. It was a damaging relationship which I wouldn't wish on anyone. There was no way any man or woman would have gone near me in the 12 months after that relationship - I was damaged and volitile. And I accepted that people would see me as such, it's their perogative.
Sounds to me like you are comparing "apples to oranges". My situation I think is quite a bit different than yours. For starters I am 33 and never had a relationship before, the woman I was talking to apparently was extremely wishy-washy a liar or both and then she called it off via email (would not tell it to my face). She basically apparently could not stand the sigth of me. Made me drive home early from Boston in traffic for 2 hours to get home to a nice email rejecting me after everything I did. She is completely selfish I was actually very nice about I did not scream at her maybe I called her all frantic but I was obviously distressed and almost crying.
She basically stabbed me in the back and twisted the knife for good measure and I have no right to be a little pissed. What is wrong with getting upset when someone treated you so badly. There is nothing wrong when it has its place and sometimes it teaches people a little manners or makes them behave like a good person. People need to be punished or else they will never see the error of their ways. I am not talking about abuse but voicing to someone how you feel. The meltdowns happen but they nothing to do with abuse. Maybe its wrong to you but meltdowns are a common occurence for aspies and they are very difficult to stop. Not sure how you did it for three years. Some of us are incapable of getting rid of them completely.
Aspergers is different for everyone but my response to this woman was what 90% of men NT or Aspie would do. She honestly pushed my buttons and probably got off on it like everyone else who has treated me like garbage. After being the nicest person in the world and telling her all these good things it was not good enough for her. I hope she rots in her own misery. She is a spineless cowardly himan being who has some kind of vendetta against men in general. She has been abused by men who stole from her and treated her like crap. I never did treat her badly except I said some things to her that were mean I guess but that was after she had completely rejected and said I was only good as an online buddy. That is not a friend who cares about you. She honestly is a waste of skin who just used me as a two week rebound. Sick people honestly.
I just want you to acknowledge what I said and explain to me what I was supposed to do. I was not trying to be all desperate I just wanted to know why she did what she did. That is not abuse it is an honest question and she could not even tell me the whole truth when she said would promised she would from the gate.
