01 Nov 2013, 12:42 pm
01 Nov 2013, 1:34 pm
01 Nov 2013, 1:57 pm
LogicalMolly wrote:
To me, kindness means being someone who does not laugh at other people's misfortune or embarrassing mistakes. It's sort of like the opposite of being a bully.
A kind person will always try to make you feel better, rather than trying to make you feel worse. Being kind is the opposite of being cruel. An awful lot of people have been unkind to me due to my Aspergers. I mean they laugh at me cruelly when I innocently misinterpret things they say, or cannot understand their jokes. I may not be the most intelligent person in the world, but I am a kind person. I am not saying that to boast. I just mean that because I know how awful it feels when people are cruel to you, I do not laugh at other people nastily and make them cry and feel worse when they make mistakes. I just tell them kindly: "it's OK. Don't worry about it. Don't be embarrassed. I make mistakes, too," and try to swiftly change the subject so that they will not have any more attention drawn to their mistake. An unkind person, in contrast, would probably say scornfully: "ha ha ha! I can't believe you didn't know that. Everybody knows that. Duh. How stupid can you be?" and would keep going on and on about said mistake all day long, and laughing about it and drawing other people's attention to it and making everybody laugh about it. This would cause the poor victimised person to feel even worse.
I do not like unkind people. They make me very anxious because I know that when I am in their company, at any moment I will probably innocently say something "stupid" and if the listener is an unkind person they will mock me and make me embarrassed and ashamed. I would far rather be with a person who is kind than be with a person who is rich and intelligent and unkind. People who are clever often have superiority complexes. Their intelligence makes them laugh at not-so-clever people cruelly every time they innocently say or do something deemed to be "stupid."
A kind person will always try to make you feel better, rather than trying to make you feel worse. Being kind is the opposite of being cruel. An awful lot of people have been unkind to me due to my Aspergers. I mean they laugh at me cruelly when I innocently misinterpret things they say, or cannot understand their jokes. I may not be the most intelligent person in the world, but I am a kind person. I am not saying that to boast. I just mean that because I know how awful it feels when people are cruel to you, I do not laugh at other people nastily and make them cry and feel worse when they make mistakes. I just tell them kindly: "it's OK. Don't worry about it. Don't be embarrassed. I make mistakes, too," and try to swiftly change the subject so that they will not have any more attention drawn to their mistake. An unkind person, in contrast, would probably say scornfully: "ha ha ha! I can't believe you didn't know that. Everybody knows that. Duh. How stupid can you be?" and would keep going on and on about said mistake all day long, and laughing about it and drawing other people's attention to it and making everybody laugh about it. This would cause the poor victimised person to feel even worse.
I do not like unkind people. They make me very anxious because I know that when I am in their company, at any moment I will probably innocently say something "stupid" and if the listener is an unkind person they will mock me and make me embarrassed and ashamed. I would far rather be with a person who is kind than be with a person who is rich and intelligent and unkind. People who are clever often have superiority complexes. Their intelligence makes them laugh at not-so-clever people cruelly every time they innocently say or do something deemed to be "stupid."
This is true, sadly. I've been on both sides of this and it's not nice. Sometimes though you laugh WITH the person, hopefully because they don't take themselves too seriously and we all goof up in life more often than not.
There was a study I came across recently (heh, I said study) which claimed that older women value kindness over all other attributes when looking for a potential partner. Not sure what your age is LogicalMolly and it doesn't matter, but I can certainly see how this has changed for me - I no longer fall for guys just because they look gorgeous, I'm actually starting to care about what's in their head too.
01 Nov 2013, 2:19 pm
leafplant wrote:
There was a study I came across recently (heh, I said study) which claimed that older women value kindness over all other attributes when looking for a potential partner. Not sure what your age is LogicalMolly and it doesn't matter, but I can certainly see how this has changed for me - I no longer fall for guys just because they look gorgeous, I'm actually starting to care about what's in their head too.
Completely agree! (says the decrepit grandma).
Why do you find it amusing that you said the word "study?"
01 Nov 2013, 2:24 pm
02 Nov 2013, 6:21 am
I have no opinion about big muscles on men, but I know I'd like to have big muscles myself 
02 Nov 2013, 9:14 am
[img][800:869]http://www.learn-bodybuilding.com/images/bb/kev3.jpg[/img]
reminds me of:
26 Nov 2013, 5:45 pm
Don't worry about it. We can't all be Mr. Universe! 
27 Nov 2013, 2:26 am
I am most attracted to skinny men. However, I've dated muscular men and obese men as well as skinny men, because personality is more important to me. But I love it when I can literally wrap my arms around my boyfriend. 
