Getting back with exes

Post Reply New Topic

I have never gotten back with my ex's, it would have been a mistake if I did. I did thought about getting back with my first one because I missed him but Mom told me it wasn't him I was missing, it was me missing the fact I had a relationship and wasn't alone and she told me I did a good thing breaking up with him and don't get back together with him or she will be disappointed.

I've attempted it several times, but have never been successful at making the type of relationship we were both hoping for work over the long-term. But, I've managed to remain friends with most of them and, to me, that's a form of being successful.

My current boyfriend (whom I´m living with) and I broke up after having been together for 6 months. After About 6 months apart we started to become a couple again and now we´ve been together for 1,5 years, living together for 1 year and 2 months this time around. We both had grown as people while being apart so it was obvious that it was going to be different this time (since we´re different).

Several years ago, I dated a guy for one month. He then stated that he didn´t want to date me because I wasn´t who he thought I was. 1,5 years later we became a couple but it only lasted for three months as the situation between us hadn´t changed.

I actually heard more about cases when it has worked getting back together, but this has been long term relationships "taking a break" for 6 moths, a year or so, and not just dating.

It's happened. At least to several people I know. I even know one couple who got divorced, then later got remarried to each other! Think of it this way: there ARE reasons you broke up. But there are also reasons you were together in the first place. Sometimes the latter outweighs the former. I'm not speaking from personal experience though, just as a witness.

I've gotten back with my most recent ex several times over the course of the past two years, but we always ended up breaking up again for the same reasons. I feel that if we spent more time apart, however, we would've been able to grow and mature more and been able to make the change, instead of running in place.

It would entirely depend on the circumstances under which we broke up.

There is only one ex I would consider getting back together with, and only after at least five more years and then only if we were in a good place to be back together. And also assuming I wasn't with someone else then.

In short, I consider it unlikely.

That said, I am on good terms with several of my exes. Most, in fact. We're close friends and I talk to them regularly (one is one of my best friends and we call each other weekly. Yes, my current boyfriend is fine with this; he's friends with him too). I have no idea how I am able to be on good terms with them except that I am good at 'seeing the good in people'. Just because we didn't work as a couple for various reasons doesn't mean I should forget that in most cases they were good people.

There are two I don't talk to, ever. One tried to force me into having sex with him. It didn't work, for the record. The other was frankly an idiot (and that's not something I call people often. Why do I think he was an idiot? I'll give you an example:

Him: I really want to have three daughters, like Dan in Real Life (that's a movie)
Me: Uh, okay. You know you can't control that, right?
Him: I'm the guy. Of course I can.
Me:............. Well then. What would you do if you did somehow have a son? Would you love him?
Him: Uhhhh no.

I broke up with him. Not really someone I think should reproduce... let alone that I should date. =/