Are we the worst effected!

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Interesting. And here's an example of AspieOtaku (a man) complaining about being alone and wanting to find love and YOU responding with "And I should care because...?"

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt263244.html

Ahh yes, I said that, but I would have said the same if he was female.

I said that because his thread has no purpose other than just telling us his thoughts, he hasn't ask any question lol.

I see. So you would have treated him like he doesn't matter whether he was male or female? How inclusive of you.

I don't see how his thread was any less purposeful than any of the other threads I've seen that you seem to have a problem with people being shamed for.

At least he asked something (regardless if this was asked 100000 times before).



Why else do you think I have a lot of enemies here from both genders? I am bluntly honest (often seen as rude) to everyone.

Au contraire, my experience, which may well be atypical, has been that not being like all the other guys has been a distinct advantage in the dating world, particularly the online one, where a certain level of bad behavior seems to be expected from the guys. Having an unusual sense of humor, not opening with lame pick up lines, being a bit more quiet and reserved than those around me, all of these things have served me quite well in my own interactions with women, and I've certainly never felt handicapped vs NT men.

Well at least Ann2011 was giving constructive criticism, which I guess she did in a bluntly honest way, something you should appreciate, no?

I feel as though I've learned a lot from this exchange: It's not okay to shame someone for whining, but it's perfectly acceptable to treat them like they don't matter for whining, as deemed necessary by The Face of Boo. Got it!

Thanks Boo! I feel so enlightened!

I can't see how just telling someone to change self is a constructive criticism.
But of course, the op has to provide more info about himself in order to get a full constructive criticism. Based on what I've read from him so far, my first constructive advice to him would be: don't tell women "can I go out with you cause I can't find anyone else who is interested?", don't treat potential dates as last resort. lol

For Average people, It's luck and winging it.

You have to wing it and do sh*t. Don't sit at home.
You have to be lucky to be in the right place at the right time.

You can't compare different "varieties" of people. There are too many factors and options involved, the only clear conclusion is that good looking people are more generally appealing to the majority so they get higher visibility/attention/attracted parties.

I'm single, not because I'm average, fat, stupid, ugly and boring, it's because I don't put myself out there enough. The same applies for most average single people.

Complaining validates one's feelings of injustice, but it's negative energy. And it's circular and self-defeating.


Chill out, Boo. I would say the same to a woman.

The bottom line is, a person puts his/herself at a disadvantage when indulging one's self-fulfilling, defeatist prophecy.

Screw the statistics.

You have to KNOW that you're a unique person worthy of a partner--Asperger's/Autism or no.

You have to put your best foot forward.

Who cares if people with ASD AS A COLLECTIVE are at a disadvantage? That's irrelevant to your personal situation--or you could make it irrelevant through your actions.

Ok, this thread had its share of overflowing wisdom.

Let's get pragmatic now and ask him about the things that make real difference.

OP, how old are you? What do you do in life? What's the status of your social life? What are your routines and hobbies? Where do you meet new people? How's your body shape?

I don't think there is a matter of changing folks. I do think there is the matter of growing up and finally getting it.

I think there are tons of single people out there nowadays, maybe about 50% where I am from. They are not all autistic.

I hate racism.

I'd say people with aspergers in general have somewhat of a disadvantage due to difficulties with social interaction, there is a such thing as female aspies to, perhaps some of the specific struggles are different between males and females with AS but I think we both can have significantly more difficulty than people without autism.

But I doubt people with autism are the only ones who struggle with that, other disorders that interfere with interaction, how the mind works or behavior in general can cause issues in finding relationships. However not everyone else on the planet is a 'normal' successful person looking for someone else in a similar position. I don't think people with AS have it the worst per say, or that males with AS have it the worst I think it depends on the individual and their struggles how it effects their ability to find/commit to or make a relationship work.

At least whining about reasons they might not get dates is a way of acknowledging those reasons....and its human nature to be disappointed and whine when you put your effort into something and it doesn't work out especially when it happens repeatedly. Also it is not true they only thing one can change is them-self and I doubt one can entirely 'change' them self in the first place you can't become a different person at will......but yeah people can change cars, people can change where they live, people can even change their environment to some extent via planting plants, getting pets, remodling or whatever point is yes people can change thing besides themselves.

Also sometimes it might be better to look for people intrested in the sort of person one is, rather then changing ones self to get with a specific type of person just because society says that is the sort of person to strive to be with. Of course complaining is not always productive(though it can be when it leads you to try and do something about it if something can be done) but does every single thing someone does have to be productive?