To attract a woman

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i am not you, vicky. i don't see myself as broken--i see myself as an unusual person who isn't to everyone's taste, and guess what? --i'm totally cool with that. a past therapist of mine (who is from guatemala) taught me a spanish aphorism that really helped me understand this about myself: yo no soy una monedita de oro para caerle bien a todos. loosely translated it means "I am not a gold coin that everyone is going to appreciate." i don't think of myself as someone who is unfit for dating--i just understand that i'm not going to appeal to lots of different sorts of guys, and i'm also cool with that. i would rather appeal to a rare special few, as it should be. i don't doubt those rare and special guys are out there, i just know my chances of encountering one are slim right now because i don't put myself out there a lot. that is something i am also cool with, for the time being. right now i'm concentrating on enjoying my own company, being independent, taking care of myself, and enjoying my freedom (which i didn't really get a chance to appreciate when i was younger and less secure in myself). i get that's difficult for you to understand, but not everyone who is single is miserable and lonely and feels like a failure.

some of us--yes, even women--choose to be single, and not out of bitterness or brokenness; try to comprehend that, if you can.

Read a few articles. Seemed like it was trying to oversimplify things. I'm a guy, and like most guys, haven't read cosmo, so I can't comment on the 'cosmo for guys' point.

Advice is probably like it is on most similar sites: very hit and miss

I think it would be best if I did not respond to you and those few others posterss and I ask that you please not respond to mine. So, for the last time, I beg you to stop making life even more difficult for our most vulnerable members.

The most important thing I learned on askmen.com today was "How To Be The Guy With The Nicest Underwear On The Boat This Summer".

Oh, and also which socks to wear to show that I'm "for real".

Definitely Cosmo for guys...

*hiding behind Vicky and pointing at SA and tara*


"Mama Vicky! Those ladies are mean to me waaahhh. ;__; "

So much advice on this website already.

I did find some worthwhile insight. The article, "Proven signs she is interested," makes some interesting points. Some could be easily misinterpreted, specifically if too much of one behavior might mean the opposite. The article suggests that a hair flick might mean she is interested but too much might indicate nervousness. Not sure my Aspie mind could necessarily determine what would be too much until it becomes obvious. By that time, it might be too late. I'm sure the good advice takes practice and it might taking us guys one or two times of falling on our faces before we get it.

Looks like Cosmo for guys to me too.

Hear hear.

And perhaps not even seeing the two as mutually exclusive or necessarily a bad thing is really such an unhealthy place to be anyway.

Boo, I see you as anything but vulnerable.

What is with all the hostility around here? Do I have to bring the Cheech and Chong van, get everyone stoned so we can all get along? [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RmxW4GJ1GA[/youtube]

I understand what you're saying. The thing is not everyone is going to like you no matter what relationship it is whether it is romantic, friendship, or anything else. My conclusion we're all individuals and each of us are going to have our own individual tastes, desires, interests, personalities, and other things. There is no safe social code or proper behavior we can do or display that will endear everyone to like you.

Socks will make me for real? Power socks? Do they have little clocks? Or toe-fingers? Damn, I'm for sure wasting my time reading biology.

(Then I thought, "Wow, I'm not even getting on a boat this summer. Pretty loserish. But maybe it's because I can't get Foreigner to stop running in a loop in my head.")

A hair flick, btw, could also mean "I need a barrette," or "You are making me extremely uncomfortable."

I always have barrettes available for such a contingency.

Dont tell them, just dont!

You know, there is a MARKET out there, sucking dollars out of losers who have no self confidence and believe in crap like the ladder theory and the law of attraction. I have NEVER seen it working. Picking up girls is REALLY easy once you act naturally and make jokes. These days when it comes to dating, i try to pickup signals asap if she likes me or not. Most of the time when they laugh about your silly jokes the odds are in your favor.

How do i know the ladder theory is just false? Well, 99% of the hot girls have the attractiveness of a potato to me. They do me NOTHING. Not even when they stand infront of my camera. Ofcourse, according to the ladder theory, i can have sex with them.. but hey, lets make NO mistake here - If you pull long enough, you will get aroused eventually. Does that mean i want to? no. And i'm definetly not gay as the ladder theory says so. It is like saying, "Oh you disagree with our THEORY OF EVERYTHING on dating? Ha! you are wrong, gaaay!"

I also hate the assumption that EVERYONE who has a girl as their best friend secretly wants to have sex with her. My only friend is female and i dont want to see her next to me in bed. To me, that is just like sleeping with my sister!


There is NO theory of everything. Stop being the cashcow to these pickup artists, they dont really care about your success, they want your money!

PS : Ask yourself, do you want to have sex with every woman that you see walking down the street?
Ofcourse not! Woman are the SAME in that regard. Sometimes its just impossible to have a relationship even if you are really attracted to eachother. I have had this happen before.. when we looked at eachother, we could just pick a room and have sex within 5 minutes. We went to a bar and we were completely out of sync when it comes to talking. She did not laugh about my jokes either.

Then when she said "I wanna know if you are a gamer because i dont want a gamer as a boyfriend anymore" i grinned, stood up, paid for my bills only and left her there, looking at me in disbelief. Sometimes things are just not meant to be, even if you both are really attracted to eachother

people with AS usually need to recharge their batteries faster than normal people in social situations. How on earth are you gonna keep up with a relationship if

-You spend ages trying to master dating techniques and applying the ladder theory even if its wrong to fake stuff while dating, trying to make her more attracted to you? That is just like acting, except.. woman are more interested in seeing who you REALLY are.

-Alot of it was fake and most people tend to become their own boring self again once they got her into bed, making the girls walk away after 2 months.

You can only remain in a role for so long until you are left completely exhausted. If you try to get a girlfriend with dating techniques you will only attract a certain - a small portion - type of woman, and most of them still wont be interested!