Just Landed. Would like to meet Earth Female..

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Thank you Star gazer for visual link.

Are there many humans that dress in cardboard boxes? I heard the economy was bad.

Can they not find real clothes?

Are you an EF StarG?

Girls like to be called fat. It's a compliment on Earth to call a woman you find attractive fat. Also in our culture, being slapped in the face is a sign of affection and you should return the favor if you like her too. Walk up to a girl and call her fat if you like her, if you get slapped then this is a sign of affection. Then slap her back if you like her too. Then you two are happily a couple.

If you see a guy who you want to be your friend, you just simply walk up to him turn around and make a loud farting noise. This is how Earthlings show their gratitude for one another. Especially in ghetto areas known as the hood.

Humans are difficult to understand what has a bendycucumber to do with finding an Earth Female?
I understand not of your speaking. 10111001
Need to find Pretty EF to reproduce and have small EFs and EMs of intelligent design to take over the planet with logical love and peace.

Message for Aspialyan:

I cannot give out my precise location, I'm afraid.

As for Bendycucumber I just see he's everywhere on telly and people like that can be annoying. I will say though he's brilliant as the voice of Smaug in The Hobbit.

And, I do not want to reproduce lots of little EFs and EMs, because I find the existing ones a headache.

As for prettiness, I guess you'd have to judge for yourself.

EF Smudge
Little EFs and EMs are optional
Just that best DNA match is with Earth, it is a long way back to own planet so must stay on Earth this lifetime..
Pretty is just a name a label humans give. It is very illogical because everything is energy and connected and is ONE..
1.

Y-EF Goofygoopers. Greetings.

USA is a big land mass. Are you north south east or west?

Are you near Nevada?

Y-EF GG 1001 Are you near Cape Canaveral? They may have a spare part for my broken spaceschipp there?

Oh. Y-EF GG .. I was hoping you were near KSC (Kennedy Space Centre). I previously asked taxi to take me to KSC but he miss heard and took me to KFC, it was nice chicken.

Are you in Atlanta? I will start guessing with A, then B for Birmingham (USA).

Thank you for this entertainment. Are you called Pretty too?

Get out of Earth and go back to Mars. You are not welcome here Martian.

Aspialyan, the EFs will make your computer-like brain enters in an infinite loop, evacuate earth before it's too late.