So I met someone last night, any tips?

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Good for you! I like that she is very specific with you. It will take the guess work out of it.

YAY!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

Well done! This is so cool! I'm so happy for you!

WOOP!! !! !! !! !

More positivity!

*is now in an extremely good mood*

Ok, so I'm starting to get paranoid.

When I told her I forgot that I have tickets to Silverchair this weekend she suggested that we move our coffee date to NEXT Friday!

That's an extra week!

Does this mean she's not very interested?

Normally I would think nothing of it, but my aspergers seems to work in reverse in that I know I don't pick up on things easily so I tend to look too hard when I when I really shouldn't, because I'm just guessing, lol.

She knows about Asperger's so I would just ask. Remind her that you don't pick up on the unspoken and just say you are checking to make sure she is okay with it. She will appreciate your concern. It shows you are willing to work with her different way of communicating as well. Don't make a big deal of it, just ask.

How could you forget tickets to Silverchair

She must have distracted you...! !

just a thought...it seems since you have seen each other again and yet again had a few drinks and she has stayed at your house, would it be a better suggestion to take her out to dinner (not the full bells and whistles, but like a nice cafe or something where you can go for drinks afterwards as an option) rather than coffee?? Or ask her - 'do you want to go for coffee or go and have a meal somewhere??'....

not sure...but I'm thinking it would be a nice suggestion so she can make the choice.

Also not sure why Silverchair takes over the whole weekend? Maybe she was hinting for a prompt from you when she said you would have to put coffee off til next Friday...like you should have responded by saying..'oh we can still catch up on Sunday afternoon if you like'...

God these rules are exhausting...I have to go and have a nap now after writing this!

Actually it already is dinner and coffee at a nice cafe called 3 monkeys.



We moved it to Thursday, so it ended up being sooner, but only at my suggestion.

Like I said she suggested we do it a whole week later.

But I'm just waiting until tomorrow now, I'll get an idea of what's going on then hopefully.

I'll just go, have fun and hope for the best.

Oh yes, have been to 3 monkeys...good choice...lots of distractions afterwards at West End if need be...

good luck!

Good luck Brundis and if you need her to be very forthright in talking to you, just remind her. Remember this is all different for her as well (even though she works with it, her time off is to relax). It's going well so it doesn't hurt for you two to remind each others of things that make it easier to communicate. That doesn't mean nagging, just a simple, you know I don't get things unless you are specific when you say them, so if I miss something you implied, please tell me. That let's her know you care and reminds her not to fall into the trap of thinking you are being deliberately indifferent.

Good advice.

About to go out and meet her now!

Am SO freakin' NERVOUS!

lol.

Wish me luck!

Well, I'm back and it's half past midnight.

I had a lot of fun but I'm still really confused and a bit frustrated with myself that I can't tell what's going on.

To be honest I don't want to tell her how she needs to be direct with me because of my aspergers, 'cause this is the first time I've attempted to get into a relationship while aware that I have it and I worry that it could be seen as a hassle or baggage.

She seems to like me, but after four "dates" I'm no more sure than I was when I first met her and she just seems to be reluctant to put an exact time on when she wants to see me next.

But then I guess with that said, we've seen eachother four times in 8 days, so that's pretty good.

I just don't know.

Does anyone else ever feel ridiculously frustrated at not being able to see the obvious things that NT's take their queues from when dating?

I feel like I'm blind or something.

I feel "impaired".

Brundis,

Absolutely I feel like that and I've been married a long time. You just don't pick up on things but you know you aren't picking up and that's where that uneasy feeling comes in. You should tell her that, honestly. It really helps. I don't think with her background she will see it as baggage. It may explain things to her that are frustrating her.

At least with her, she knows. When my husband met me, Lorna Wing hadn't even translated Asperger yet and it wouldn't be an official diagnosis until we were married for 13 years. I've only known about it for a few months. He had to find his way through with no idea why it was happening, just that it was. So don't give up. It can work.

Yes, 4 dates in 8 days is great! That's a date every other day if you average it out. I think we tend to get obsessed right away and want to be with person all the time. She may feel like it's going fast in NT terms. You could ask her about that. That might be why she doesn't want to set an exact date and time to meet.

You are doing fine. Relax. Enjoy it. Good luck.

Zanne

mate.

play it slow.

see where it goes from here on out.