Aspie boyfriend tends to let me initiate sex all the time

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Maybe it is time to cut the ties. If you do, be strong, cut them thoroughly, don't leave any option for him to come back, you can control that if you want to.

Yeah, I agree with this. Meaning, well, I don't claim to know what's going on. But really - we don't have to leave it up to men whenever they want to end or restart things, go or come back. We can decide and hold firm. Otherwise we become the backup girl - that girl that a guy knows he can always come back to, or worse, he even just comes back once in a while to make sure he still has a way in.

Hang on, I think that this is a bit rash. First of all, this is just one week whereas in my case, we only cut ties after I had no contact with my ex-GF for 2 months when I tried a long-distance relationship (there were periods when she just withdrew). At least he replied to her message, she didn't reply to mine.

To give a possible explanation on what's happening, it is possible that he's stressed out about work related stuff but just because he posts on Facebook and special interest forums doesn't mean that he's not busy with work and/or stressed about it because it's possible that he might delve into his special interests sometimes to get his mind off the stress. That happens to me sometimes.

I can however see that not having contact with him is causing you anxiety, like not having contact in my one caused me anxiety, otherwise you wouldn't post it. So, if it continues happening then maybe it is best to cut ties but it might also be too early at this stage. If he says that he wants Skype next week instead, have you tried organising a time?

I am really second guessing myself here because he is probably the nicest guy I've dated! Really! When we got together, he was three months out of a 5-year relationship with a woman he loved dearly. It's been nine months since they have broken up by now and six months since we've known each other.

To be fair, he did say that he is terrible with texting and I guess he is also not good with initiating. But I have never caught him in a lie and I pretty much trust him....he is wise beyond his years as well.

However, his seeming lack of enthusiasm in communicating bugs me. It's like part of him wants to be alone for a while and part of him wants to please me. When I have brought up the non-communication issue with him, all he said was "I'm sorry if I seem like I don't want to talk. It is not my intention".

I like this guys as a person above all. So the question is, do I just go with it and wait for him to initiate next week (slim chance) or do I have to be the one to suggest a day and time again? By the way, if it helps to know, he is Swedish and you know how egalitarian they are.

That shouldn't surprise you. He probably thinks that having a Skype conversation with you is uncomfortable. He'd rather communicate in easier and more pleasant ways using monologue and/or text.

You really should try to negotiate ways to communicate with him that feels better for both of you.

I don't think it is a lack of enthusiasm as much as him being highly uncomfortable with your way of communicating with him. Because lack of enthusiasm is typically just that: Something uncomfortable that feels like a choir or work.

Rdos, I notice that you live in Sweden, which is where my bf lives. You swedes are difficult to understand. Sometimes I think that the entire country has AS, haha.

Anyway, he says he does not like texting and prefers face to face or Skype. The thing is that I've heard his male friends complaining that he does not answer their messages or communicate enough.

The noninitiating on his part bugs me sometimes.

Well, I do prefer face to face, and I hate speaking on the telephone. My communication is mostly driven by interest, so if you just want to know how I'm doing, I'd probably not answer you back. But ask me about something I'm highly interested in, and I'll give you a long monologue.

You know, I think that it would be a lot easier to maintain this relationship if you lived together in the same city or something so that you could see each other often. Long distance relationships are hard even for 2 NT's and aspies can be harder to stay in touch with than most other people.

If you aren't expecting that you're going to be seeing your bf or gf regularly again at any time in the future then I see no point in a long-distance relationship.

@Alla
I have to tell you that, the older I get, the more I value the time that I can have to myself. From what I gather, you are not living together, and you also give the impression of feeling insecure. You should also be glad that he even communicates with you as often as he does or even at all.

I, for example, despite being as popular as I am with the social-types, rarely engage in social-interaction. Part of that is because of my role/disposition/purpose for this particualr life so I need my own time to concentrate. Also, this thing about sex, despite the fact that you are not actually living together, I can only assume that it's role-played in some way or done over the bringing of your "avatars" together, such as from a multi-player on-line RPG-type computer-game, and usually people try to find ways to start living together when deciding to establish a LTR.

Also going to give you another hint about guys like him/myself. Small-Talk is like a Foreign-Language. Usually, I need to gather my thoughts together, before I can decide what I want to say or talk about or discuss, and it will usually be on subject-matters that I find to be of importance that have to do with how the structures of society affect humanity or something similar/related, for which usually exist massive amounts of evidence to support our conclusions.

Each dude probably also has their own "fetish" that unleashes the sex-maniac within (then again my level of pervertèdness far-exceeded even the next-most-perverted individual existing on an entire other forums when I took the pervert-test). What I like is a beautiful young-looking babe who does lots of cos-play sex with me as she wears these various long-haired wigs/outfits whilst we make our own sex-videos together. This is a win-win that lets me ge to have lots of sex with what appears like I am getting myself a different lady each and every single day, thus fulfilling my own desires to have lots of sex with many a different lady, and a win-win for her since I am really only have sex with her, just that she has taken on the looks of all of the hottest animé-girls with whom I desire to have said sex.

I am not going to give you any Legal-Advice. Should you want Legal-Advice, then seek out an appropriate Legal-Counsel, and be Advised. I only have interest in Lawful-Advice, for Entertainment-Purposes Only, for which should not be construed or confused with being the same as Legal-Advice.

Another thing I find odd is that he rarely likes my Facebook statuses (I like some of his) or pics, but he likes the pics of a few other girls. I find that he is nervous a lot when he talks to me too. What is going on?

and how can we know?

overall, it sounds like a good relationship. perfect doesn't exist. compromise may be in order.

He is really nice but difficult to understand sometimes.

Fair point.

I have the reverse problem where my boyfriend tends to initiate sex and I am just too tired or stressed to react to him. This has happened that often, but still, I feel so very guilty when it happens. I know I probably shouldn't, but I just do... I am afraid that he will see it as rejection.
I really don't have personal advice, but I see some useful tips have already been given.