Debriefing

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While of course some aspie men and women can have pretty bad personalities, it seems even those of us that are 'good' and 'decent' people can end up in abusive, toxic relationships, let alone have any at all.

For some reason every time I came close to dating a decent girl, fate had to take her away from me and leave me with someone far more dysfunctional and toxic thanI am.

I had a crush on this N.T. girl, and she liked me back. She's my friend now, we're both roughly equal attractiveness, we have 99% similar personalities to the point I've never met someone so similar, and whatever differences we have could possibly complement each other.

I didn't know all this at the time, of course, but I had a crush on her in high school and she liked me back.

Just before I was going to ask her out, she had to move away.

Now we're both fine with just talking and being friends, but still what's frustrating is the girl I ended up with after, my first girlfriend.

My first gf was aggressive, over-sensitive, had BPD, learning difficulties, severe depression to the point of suicidal thoughts, self-harmer, traumatic life and background, etc.

I was a good boyfriend from the very beginning, and from the very beginning and she was not a good girlfriend. It was short and terrible.

All I have is Asperger's, General Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia and Depression.

Why can't a girl I end up with just be a decent fricken person for once.

A normal, nice girl with maybe Social Anxiety and depression or something for once.

It's so hard to overcome Oneitis. My feelings for my now female friend sometimes come back and go once again, because she's the only girl I talk to now outside of family and it seems like I'll never have the chance to ever meet a nice girl even close to my age ever again.

All the advice on the net I see that tells you to overcome Onieitis says 'there's going to be more girls you can be compatible with out there' and to always be focusing on and pursuing other women.

I have no one my age I could have feelings for or try to date except for her, and I don't see this changing for a long, long time.

This is probably why you can't get over your ex, RetroGamer, because every girl you've dated after has never held a candle to how amazing she was to you, and have all been shy, depressed, mentally unhealthy and/or 'boring' girls who don't have much interesting things to say.

You're a decent guy, man.

Sure, you made some mistakes in the past with some Asian women online or whatever, and you would always complain about your previous Asian girlfriend, but that's only natural.

With the asian women online, you thought with your little man instead of your brain, but plenty of men do that. How else do you think the majority of other mail order brides get bought by men? And with your previous girlfriend, you had flaws yourself but she did too and was dragging you down, so it was right for you to break up with her if you ddidn't want to be with her anymore.

We both don't deserve this, man.

Sure, we're not 'entitled' to a relationship, but why is it plenty of good people end up with toxic S.O.'s? No one should ever deserve this to happen to them because a toxic relationship can ruin your life.

What do you want with this person? What are your intentions and expectations?

I see any social interaction just as a way to hone, improve and expand social skills. Even practicing eating and really enjoying the food sensations quietly together can be fun.
That's why they invented diner and a movie
Sharing popcorn can be fun

I don't understand the leap from a first date to living together

Supermodels sometimes feel a contempt for others which causes them to think that they can be lax with "taking care of themselves" when they are not actually modeling.

I don't know why I bother anymore. People much younger than me already have better relationships than I ever will. What's the point if I can't have a relationship at a normal age?

Yeah probably. I was just looking through someone's Facebook page and found they were having their seven year relationship anniversary even though they're 23. The guy looks so much younger then me and yet he's been with the same girl for 7 years. It just sort of depressed me that this young whippersnapper has achieved so much more than me. It made me feel old yet somehow immature.

If I didn't feel the need to compete with everyone else I'd have no motivation to get out of bed in the morning