Feminists, you are all rapists!

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Sorry you feel that way. If that is what some people actually do, shame on them and it gives rape victims a bad name.

Well but I was saying there is no way to trick someone into willfully raping someone...of course there are probably sick people out there that might want to set someone up to ruin their life but that's a different thing entirely.

Well Aaendi ask yourself a question. Do you have any evidence that what you say is the case?

I figure he meant a woman wants sex so she keeps on telling the man he wants it even though he doesn't and she gaslights him into making him thinks he wants it so he gives in and they have it. Then later she claims she is raped and has him arrested. I have never heard of this.

People Need to stop accusing lonely men who are sad about being alone of being 'misogynistic' or bitter or hateful. I see it a lot.

Sad man: "I'm very sad I'm so alone. I've never had a friend or girlfriend and been called ugly all my life. I eat healthy ND exercise but it's my face. Most women I ask out have been very mean to me and call me a creep."

Then he gets brigaded by men and women who generally say stuff like this:

"Not ALL women are like that. It's not your looks, it's your attitude. You're unconfident in yourself and women can see that. Also, you sound very bitter and hateful towards women and the world. You are NOT entitled to sex and if you want it so bad pay for an escort."

What does sadman usually say?

Sadman: "I don't act like this in real life. I'm confident and friendly and have friends. I don't hate women at all. I know I'm not entitled to sex and its not sex I want but love. Its my looks. Over 100 women have rated me and tend to say 3/10. I have bad acne, a facial deformity and bad teeth even if I brush them. I also have aspergers and severe anxiety but don't let that stop me from having friends or asking out women"

Their response?

"People can see your bitterness through your actions even if you try to hide it. I've had ugly friends who succeed. Just be confident, bro. Women like confidence. Just lift, bro. Just go outside and socialize, it's EASY. Quit whining and being pathetic. You are either not trying at all and being entitled, or trying too hard and being a desperate creep"

I'm on my phone but when I get to a computer I will post like 20 links to internet forums where I see this sort of crap happen.

Any lonely man who's ever complained on the internet should know what I'm talking about.

Aaendi has a girlfriend not the lonely victim you talk about. Yet he maintains this perception

You make it sound like guys are expecting people to send them women or something or somehow magically fix all their problems and make them popular. No one has the power to do that.

People get lonely. Sometimes they are able to find others to soothe that loneliness, and sometimes they are not. Mostly to me it seems entirely random who meets someone compatible and who doesn't. They only thing anyone can do to increase their odds statistically is to be around other people as much as possible--beyond that, it's totally beyond anyone's control I think who meets someone compatible and who doesn't. Railing about that to the universe seems so pointless and a waste of time and exercise in self-pity. In my mind, it's just better to accept that as a human being you're going to spend some of your life feeling lonely and that it's impossible to go through life and avoid that feeling (even people in relationships and with friends still feel lonely sometimes--seriously, ask anyone and they will tell you they can't talk to their wife about their problems or they rarely see their friends anymore since they all got married and have kids and it makes them feel lonely even though they are technically surrounded by people. It's the bloody human condition to feel alone at least some--if not most--of the time in life.)

You are born alone. You die alone. Being alone is a condition of life. Get used to it or don't or die or whatever, just stop whining about it already. That's my advice. Take it or leave it.

I feel like I need to explain a little further:

I think the main problem with the sort of guys Outrider is talking about is not that they can't find someone, it's that they can't cope with feeling lonely, and that is the problem that needs addressing. Finding a partner is not going to address that issue, because if the person gets into a relationship and then still finds themself feeling lonely sometimes (as is totally normal, because like I said it's the human condition and everyone feels that way sometimes, even if they have lots of people in their lives. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, and if you can't cope with the feeling of being alone then whether other people are there or not is not going to make a difference.)

I think there are lots of people out there who are surrounded by people they are not very compatible with. Because everyone is an individual and because communication is a very imperfect science, when you put any two people together it's a dice roll whether they will be able to get along and will like each other or not. Also, people change over time so you can find that you are surrounded by people that you used to be compatible with but who no longer understand you. So you can have an active social life and still end up feeling lonely and misunderstood. If you can't cope with those feelings, then the presence of other people in your life is not going to fix that.

People need to accept that feeling lonely sometimes is normal (whether you are a socially active person or not), and learn some coping skills so that when they do find themselves feeling that way they can deal with it and go on living. Because we can't force other people to share our lives, and we have very little control over who comes and who goes. People are born, they die, they leave--we have no control over that. The only rational way to deal with that is accept feelings of loneliness as a natural part of human life that we all have to learn how to cope with to get by.

There is no magic fix, there is no getting around feeling lonely. It's just something we all have to face, whether we have people or not.

Overall I guess for most people their is someone out for them its just a matter of finding that person.

Sometimes time is a factor. My mother's best friend didn't marry until her late fifties. Sometimes it can be a matter of self-improvement however. We don't have it easy as people with Asperger's however let's not disregard the fact their could be much we do to make our lives better. E.g. getting a lid on our anxiety and learning to be more comfortable with social interaction. Sometimes we just need to practice that.

Last edited by Shahunshah on 26 Nov 2016, 7:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bit of a difference between a sad lonely man and someone going 'all feminists commit rape'. And perhaps sometimes they may say sexist things because of bitterness or misunderstanding but it doesn't make them inherently sexist.

Rape is a f*****g serious topic! You should be ashamed for treating it as such a trivial thing. Even feminists who use rape against men should be ashamed.

There are real victims who are treated with disregard. If you said yes I want to have sex with you, you consented.

I think of myself as a feminist and abhor the thought of accusing anyone of rape, it ruins mens lives and hurts the real victims.

Also to what angelRho said earlier I am pro choice so believe if a woman wants to be a stay at home house wife then good for her

I think more people need to accept, for a lot of people but not all of course, loneliness is absolutely unbearable.

And there is a difference between 'loneliness' as you describe and complete and total social isolation, which is more often what the lonely men you see online complain about.

There's a massive difference between "I have 6 friends but like 4 of them don't even want to talk to me anymore and the other 2 have been really busy studying lately, so I've been alone for these past few weeks" and "I am completely socially isolated, have no family, no friends, never had a girlfriend, co-workers ignore me, my boss only speaks to me when they have to, I haven't even spoken a single word in the last 4 weeks. I haven't spoken to a family member in about 6 months. I haven't had a friend in 6 years. I've messaged over 500 women on online dating and never got a single date out of it." I'd rather have the first one in a heartbeat.

THAT is why all these lonely men can't deal with it. The one's with friends are the LUCKY ones.

They are completely and totally socially isolated, often do have mental disorders like Anxiety, Aspergers, Depression, etc. cannot hold down a job or study, and most importantly, they lack validation.

I don't believe good self-esteem and confidence truly come from within.

They come from a combination of internal and external factors, the external factors being positive reinforcement and actual real-life evidence they as a person are cherished and valued.

There are actually people in this world who have never had a friend or girlfriend, and even their family might call them ugly or stupid or emotionally abuse them.

How could they ever like themselves when not a single individual out of 7 billion on this entire planet has ever liked them?

And don't give me that rubbish of 'Why would anyone like you if you don't like yourself?'

I'm saying the opposite also applies "How could you possibly see yourself as a perfectly likable, capable person just as deserving of family love and friendship when you've had no evidence to support this."

And when I talk of deserving, I'm not talking about entitlement, I'm talking about 'deserving' as in 'You're not a bad person, you shouldn't be punished'.

Almost nobody on this Earth can truly survive that sort of loneliness and come out the other side mentally sane and healthy.

I personally believe Love is a human need.

All kinds of love, Familial, Platonic and Romantic.

I define a biological need as something that would kill you without it.

It may not kill you as fast as hunger, thirst, lack of sleep, etc. but severe loneliness will destroy your sanity and functioning. There's been a few studies that suggest you can die earlier from loneliness.

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_an ... esity.html

And about compatibility:

Being alone is better than being with people you are incompatible with, but being with people you are compatible with is the best of all three.

Last edited by Outrider on 26 Nov 2016, 8:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

People in this situation (like myself, as I don't work or go to school and haven't had a romantic relationship in over a decade) need therapy to learn how to cope with isolation. If you can't bear the feeling of loneliness what you need is therapy to learn how to cope with that feeling. There is no fix, you can't make loneliness go away, it's not something you can choose not to feel in life. Loneliness is a factor of life for everybody, so learning to accept it is the only way to move forward.

There is little I can do about the fact that I am socially isolated, for a number of reasons (not just autism.) The only thing I can do is learn to cope with that isolation, which is what I have spent my time doing. It's not perfect, I still feel lonely sometimes. But I generally enjoy my life and I survive because I have learned to cope with feeling lonely.

Well sometimes their are things you can do for yourself to make your own life better it is good not sideline those. For me I have went from having tremendous social anxiety to being I would say an extrovert over the course of a year. Somethings you have got to do is allow yourself to be exposed to others. Gradually you may get more and more relaxed around them and eventually open up. This has worked for me, at the start of this year I was the most timid person in my class but now I am always the one debating and chuckling during the middle of it. Things can change if you put the effort into it and expose yourself.

The answer to loneliness is to find other people who you are compatible with and you care about them and they about you.

That's not a magic fix but it helps.

I see a big difference between loneliness and isolation.

Loneliness is a feeling, isolation is a state of living with loneliness being the biggest part of it.

I'd rather not over-complicate things.

If your depression is caused by having no friends and a girlfriend, what will solve it?

Sitting in your room on your computer all day and going to therapy once a week to learn your 'coping methods' to do at home or to actually have real, organic people in your life who you are compatible in your life to be with?

Humans are social creatures. We need positive social interactions to survive and for some of us to have any meaning or purpose in our lives aside from go to work like a good little drone, sit behind a computer all day, come home, sit behind a computer all day, go to bed, rinse & repeat.

Therapy needs to solve the root of the problem, by teaching both isolation coping techniques and also social skills and actual techniques to try and befriend and be a part of the lives of others and have others in your life.

If you are capable of just not complaining about your loneliness than good for you, but for some if not the vast majority of people, especially lonely young men it seems, it is the difference between life and death (suicide).

So perhaps people need to stop being so mean, cruel and harsh to lonely men who complain online.

Of course some of them really are bitter, sexist, not trying etc. but that's definitely not all of them, and constantly insulting and putting the good ones down like I've seen in many places on the internet is making the problem worse.

These people need support, some of them are already going to therapy or taking meds but still just need to let their feelings out anyway, because everyone they talk to it about in real-life even once get angry at them for complaining or brush them off, or better yet aside from their therapist they see once a week they actually have NO ONE to complain to about in real life at all.

I'm a NEET, and in fact the majority of these lonely young men I see are NEETs.

They've either already tried university but couldn't handle it and dropped out and/or can't hold down a job.

Meetup groups aren't always effective and tend to be mostly middle-aged adults and older.

I do volunteer, coincidentally only at places older people are because I can't handle young people places (the loud trendy music, all the young little sh*ts running around, etc.) older people places are quieter and more relaxed environments.

But like I said, whether you have people or not you are GOING to feel lonely sometimes. If you can't cope with that then you can't cope with life. This is where therapy becomes helpful--learning to cope with the feelings involved with being alive, including loneliness.

No one is being cruel to lonely men in this thread.