I am a bad luck

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Don't think anyone said anything about fault....that is too negative. None of that is even relevent the point is you aren't happy with the way your interactions go or your social life, people are just trying to give advice on how you could improve that part of your life. It is possible to be 'too serious' in life maybe that is part of your problem.

Right. It almost seems like he has getting a girlfriend as a special interest project, something that won't go well unless he has a girl that has the same attitude towards him. It's especially bad if he reads everything NTs have said about relationships, believing that is the truth about how he should proceed. I don't think that even NTs have anything near "standardized" on how to get a girlfriend. There is a huge variation in how that happens.

Think of ironic society we live in. I met lot of people who are complaining being single and they still get relationships. Even those having rebound relationships. I also met women who wanted a boyfriend seriously like a project, she didnt like me back assuming I am not physically attractive she got a boyfriend not long after me. They are getting married before end of the year.

I met a girl through sports who have severe anxiety and depression she get boyfriends as usual. So why pointing at me that I am being negative, desperate and creepy is a turn off while it not a turn off for NT people? I am telling you truthfully, its how people perceive Autism. Its a negative stigma.

Pauline Hanson recently attacked autistic people in her parliament speech about segregation in school classrooms. This is pure example of ableist and toxic bullying behaviour we seen from NTs in Australia. I am assuming this is a same in US with Trump. Australia is full of rather uneducated people. They speak with less vocabs, at rapid speech pace and drinking constant.

You need to look at my perspective of ironic society. Telling me to shut up and carry off about getting a girlfriend is nonsense bullying tactic since people who are in same shoes still get relationships without problems.

Your comments taking perspective to attack my goods and aspirations in my life. I have done so much more things than many autistic people I known to date. I travelled, conference speaking, done a thesis paper, run community organisations, had jobs. Now I am a leader of local youth organisation, entrepreneur, scientist, inspiring public speaker and that.

I have an apartment, car, insurance, family, friends, money and that. These are the things are FOR ME. Not to inspire women. I am setting example about myself of how much commitment, motivations and efforts to make my life happy and straightforward. I hate people including some of comments in here, and as well from so called friends that I thought they were my friends negatively throwing tantrums at me that I am being negative and perceive as creepy.

Autism awareness and education is out of touch with mainstream society. Like if you autistics going to learn about NT lifestyle, that not going to improve about yourself because it is example of 'forgetting about yourself'. This is very good example why autism must be protected, and accepted by mainstream society. I accepted to be different, and had to deal my different ways. If I am going to change to become a NT with smart social skills and the crap people trying to teach me I will be very likely to become unhappy and unhealthy.

Think about it.

Is this how you engage with people in reality? If so, it's very telling.

You have reverted back to the mindset of your opening post. Also, looks do come into it but it's not just looks.

A ha! So the system is rigged against you by default because you don't get what you want! Have you ignored the previous posts and advice? It seems you have, as you are reasserting the mindset laid out in your OP. If your mission is to convince the reader and not seek to resolve your troubles, it would seem your post is but a vent and you only want empathy not help. If this is the case, you are best going to The Haven. That is what it is for.

How is any of this relevant and how is it in any way an acceptable way to talk about others?

We have. You laid it out in your OP. Some of us simply disagree with it and are using our experiences to advise you and try and help you.

No one said that in this thread. And youknow that. You were given varied advice. Deluding yourself into thinking this in order to confirm your own biases will leave you in the same spot you currently inhabit. Something tells me you don't want that. So please, help us to help you. Listen, read, understand, adopt the useful bits. This is what an intelligent person would do. You claim to be intelligent. Do yourself a favour and prove it!

This is where you have gone wrong. You see anything short of validation and comfort as attacks and to be disregarded as the thoughts and spectacle of inferior minded bullies. You came to a board mostly existing for advice and intelligent discussion regarding Love & Dating. If you come here wishing to engage in neither it is not your peers stonewalling your success it is you.

OK. Great. And where has that gotten you with women? Do tell!

If these are things you feel you need only to comfort you and you feel you have nothing to prove...why do you feel the need to bring it up as if you are better than your peers? Explain!

I'm sure most of the adults here are not throwing tantrums. I'm certainly not. Remember, you view their words as attacks which more than likely means you are picturing stupid people getting angry at you when it's simply a bunch of adults rolling their eyes and typing stuff on a keyboard. You talk about perception a lot. It would seem you perceive many things but do not understand them. Listen to your peers, and you might just.

I agree and disagree with you on this point. I agree with your first sentence but I do not agree with the "why" aspect. In fact, I find the groups teach that "it's ok to be you" to the point that they actually hinder or completely blockade social development in AS people by over-enabling their cognitive behaviour. I honestly believe this applies to you. You've had no one in your support networks to challenge you properly and show you that while it's OK to be you social norms still exist and we must learn for the most part to accept them.

BOTH must be accepted and not segregated or treated as separate.

But you're alreadyunhappy and unhealthy. Why not learn a thing or two? What would be the harm? Why would it make you any more dissatisfied or mentally drained? You are after all intelligent, are you not?

+1000.

This. A thousand times this. Especially the latter part addressing acceptance and segregation from "both sides".

Thank you for good advices and comments.

I decided to take knowledge and its all my fault to be a person like this. 8 years of psychologists is pretty much way too much for me to structure a person like me.

I am sorry for all posts of my first presence here on WP. I am sorry to make you angry, uncomfortable, creeped out and feel stalked.

I am sorry for me talking about myself all the time.

I am sorry for who I am as being intelligent person with high IQ who always think everything I am right.

I am sorry for talking.

This is last post.

Thank you, goodbye.

This is not about fault.


Hardly anyone here seems to be angry, uncomfortable of creeped out. There's zero reason why anyone would feel stalked. On forums like this a lot of people talk about themselves a lot as addressing your problems is part of the point they have.


No need to be sorry, but high IQ of course doesn't always make you right. For any specific argument your IQ is irrelevant, it's the things you say about the given topic that matter, not your IQ.


Negativity can be a turn off even if not all negative people are unable to get a relationship and it is a turn off for many people. It's just not something that automatically renders you unable to ever get a relationship.
You may be right about autism being your bigger problem though (it's difficult to tell since no one here knows how exactly you interact in real life). It's also true that there is a stigma but since autism really affects how you think and act it is not only the stigma that diminishes your chances of getting a relationship. If you can't provide the emotional support and interpersonal connection most people need in a relationship, then most people would not be happy in a relationship with you. If the first impression you make shows this they will know early on.
Obviously autism doesn't automatically render you unable to have a relationship either. After all there are many autistic people who do. Some may struggle to get a girlfriend/boyfriend and a few may actually have an easy time. But autism is diverse and how much it hinders your chances of getting a relationship depends on what symptoms you have and how you deal with them.


No one was attacking what you aspire or achieve and you may be ahead of other autistics in some ways. For some autistics not having a job and other things you achieved is part of their difficultly with getting a relationship. Those things are of advantage when trying to get a relationship but they are not everything and they are not the most important thing. They make things easier; they're not a core requirement. Your problem definitely doesn't lie there but it lies elsewhere. And your problem probably is how you interact with other people.


Yes, there's not a whole lot of autism awareness in mainstream society. Some people may reject you if you tell them you're autistic and they don't know you well because it gives them false ideas about you. But if people reject you for a romantic relationship without knowing you are autistic or not because they know you are autistic, then the problem is not only a lack of awareness. People have emotional needs in a relationship. Since they are in a relationship with only one person at a time they need someone who can provide everything they need to be happy in a relationship. Friendships are different because you can have many friendships and if you miss something in one of them another friend can still have this quality you need.


You are doing well in many ways, thus you can exclude that your problem with getting a girlfriend lies there. I doubt that you have better communication skills than NTs though as your train of thoughts isn't always easy to follow (even if you are not making a point that is in itself complicated) and as you tend to perceive other people's comments as hostile and other people as angry when they probably are not. You may be more consciously aware of some unwritten rules about how to communicate and you may have learned some specific skills you need e.g. for conference speaking that most NTs don't have. They still have an intuition for communication that you probably lack. From what/how you write here I'd guess that how you communicate is a big part of your problem with relationships.
If you point your achievements and intelligence out in real life as often and the same way you do here that might seem weird. If you are negative and the negativity is coupled with being quick to anger a lot of people will avoid you for that reason - it doesn't seem safe, at least for ones emotional well-being. If you seem to look down on them and act condescending they won't enjoy your company - even if your negativity is directed at people in general and not directly at the other person because 'people' is a group they're part of. The difference between being a confident person and an arrogant person is that confident people are comfortable enough with themselves to acknowledge that no matter how many things they're better at than the other person, the other person may still be good in other areas and they tend to built others up instead of trying to push them down. They're able to tell/show others what they're good at without needing to make it a competition. What they point out is that they are good, not that they are better.

Stigma against autism has absolutely nothing to do with if neurodiverse people get into relationship or not. I mean, I'm not drawn to neurodiverse girls because they are autistic (much less diagnosed, which is a minus for me), but because how they act, and I'm only triggered and interested if they act naturally. But part of your problem seems to be that you have "bought" the big numbers argument, and you go after any girl without regards if she is compatible or not.



There are both pros and cons to segregation and integration. The pro is that they meet other similar people and thus easier can understand their natural preferences. The con is that it makes it harder to get along with NTs.



I don't think anybody said that. I told you to stop the "big numbers game" (asking every girl out) and instead learn to read the signs of girls, not to stop trying getting a gf.



Great, but as an autistic person, none of that really makes any difference in the relationship area. That's because it is NTs that use those traits to validate partners, and as an autistic, you are incompatible with them.



Yes, but it makes no difference for you in the relationship area. You don't need that to happen, so don't wait for it. After all, when I was in high school and college over 30 years ago, autism was thought to be something very unusual, and neurodiversity was not "invented", yet I found two neurodiverse girls that I connected with, and they connected with me. Neurodiverse people connect naturally, so you don't need acceptance from society for it to happen.