Why you can't get a date

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You need to hang around in different circles. There are women like that, but they are classless or extremely old fashioned and not very worldy.

I couldn't date someone who wasn't ambitious or with the mind of an entrepreneur, because I would get bored of them very quickly. But most women are not like me. It is a lot less common for women to expect men to pay these days. If they do, probably wise to give them the flick.

I mean. If you earned more. You would get women who judge you on your income. Is that what you really want? Fake interest? Someone who would rather marry your wallet than you?

Why is it a competition to see who has the lowest standards? Is the one with the lowest standard morally superior?

Men generally have lower standards because on average, they want more sex than women (On average - Don't come back with the exceptions argument, I'm talking about the bell curve.).

Hence, women are more likely to be happy to go without for long periods of time until they find someone they really want to be with. There are an equal number of single women out there, but they would rather go without than date someone who doesn't appeal to them.

See other species for similar examples.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 14 Oct 2017, 1:31 am, edited 2 times in total.

Women know I have money but they don't ask me to give it all to them. They don't expect me to shower them with expensive gifts or pay their rent for them. It's rare for me to pay for both meals on a date. Most women don't expect it.

No. But arguably more reasonable, realistic and forgiving of flaws and imperfections.

Cause men don’t say other men don’t like women for their looks, but so many women deny women care about a mans income or status. It’s like freaking holocaust deniers pisses me off, it’s bad enough I have to be constantly demeaned and rejected cause of my status and job but then to have women here tell me I’m making it all up. Freak that.

Also I don’t care about a woman’s weight as long as she’s not super obese wats waist to hip ratiO? I’d never judge a woman so superficially sounds like the bad guy from the zoohand where he has a gf with the “perfect ass to noon ratiO” that’s super superficial to talk about a woman that way. Difference is I acknowledge alt of men are that way and do see women as sex objects.

Yes they are, people are allowed to be horrible people. But we are allowed to call them out on it just like racists or a*****les. Don’t like being called superficial r horrible person, then don’t be one. My ex friend had every right to be a ass to everyone he meets, but doesn’t mean he has the right not to be called an ass.

I don’t like it being called low standards. A chubby woman isn’t low standard. I don’t judge people in standards. That’s all so superficial and treating people like objects. Seems so cold hearted to me. That chubby, unemployed, depressed woman probably has a lot of love and kindness to give. She has interest and hobbies. She has a unique personality. She probably quite smart and knowledgeable about certain subjects and they might not be main stream but so what. Just wish they could like a guy in similar position us society and their family raised them telling them only to date guys with status who can provide, until society gets ride of that outdated idea it’s hopeless for men like me. It’s very likely if I’d had my own place the one lady would been my gf instead she lied to me and started dating the first guy with a house she could find. Like days later. She also was dating two other guys same time as me. She just wanted a provider since her roommates moved out and she lost her appointment.
I’ve been rejected by women worse situations then me cause my job. But despite all the evidence I apprently just making up it all, I’m just imagining millions of women saying this stuff. Despite they said it on the internet where it is forever, once it’s on the net it never goes away.

Of course it's unfortunate for us poor people that people would rather date the rich ones/the ones with decent income, but so what? Everyone has some kind of preference, everyone has things they look for in a partner and everyone have things they definitely don't want their potential partners to be like.

Yes, guys might turn me down 'cause I'm:
1. Unemployed
2. Socially akward (which breaks down to various little things that average NT might have trouble with)
3. A person with an uncureable disability (which might cause serious health and financial issues in the future)
4. Someone with a scarred body that has been over weight.

But just like they can turn me down for any of those reasons or any other, I have just as much right to turn them down for whatever reason I see fit. That's how the world works. Does it sometimes feel unfair? Yes. Does it feel like people are selfish? Yes. Is that how the world works? Yes.

Perhaps the best thing to do is to realize that men and women have different standards, so the idea that someone just like you, except in the opposite gender, who will want you, may be flawed. There are lots of smart and financially well off women in China without partners because the guys there don't care how much their partner makes.

And, just like they have different standards, a partner may want different things than you. You might want simple, easy to clean apartment. She may want to clutter it with all sorts of keepsakes. You may want plain hambugers, while she will insist on going to Taco Bell. If you want a partner to stay with you compromises will need to be made.

?




Is not that those Chinese high flying birds can't find men, its that there isn't enough high status men for them. They refuse rural guys with rural jobs. You know: farmers, cooks, welders, construction workers etc just aren't good enough for city women anymore, or even there own rural women that left for the city.

http://www.scmp.com/comment/insight-opi ... n?page=all

There is a surplus of single, frustrated, dateless men in China dues to decades of abortions of females... 25 million more men in China than women. That has to be added into account as well.


The true matter is pretty simple.

There are no shortage of men in China that would happily marry any woman in China. Some guys are marrying mentally disabled women kidnapped in Vietnam and smuggled into southern China. Other men are buying Sex Dolls they are so lonely. http://foreignpolicy.com/2017/09/28/sex ... ographics/

All that is happening in China is that women's natural hypergamous behaviour, to over-estimate their own value in the marriage market, is giving them a real kick in the ass. There's not a single woman in China who went "off to the city" that could not have married in her marriageable prime (20-26), but she ignored her parents' advice and chose not to do so. There's no crisis here. It's social economics in action.

This isn't a backlash against women's increased options. Men in China aren't trying to punish or bully women. They are just showing preference towards partners that would be an ideal spouse.

Feminists would prefer that women never face any consequences for any of their actions. They expect men to bend over backwards and sacrifice their own pursuit of happiness so that women can sleep around in their 20's with handsome muscular hunks then demand a rich and successful husband in her thirties. That's what all the fuss is about.

So what?
You have every right to only date women who have a stable income. And that does not mean that women don't have a right to do the same. Many of the women who don't want to date a jobless guy are employed themselves. They can put in their fair share, they're just not willing to be the sole providers themselves. So basically you're angry because many women have a standard, you yourself have as well?

Did you even read OP's article?

I'm not claiming that there is no difference between what women on average expect of a man and what men on average expect of a woman. I'm just saying that Boxman seems to be angry with women because they expect things of a partner he himself expects too. RetroGamer did not advertise that you should date unemployed women who expect you to pay for them and I interpreted Boxman's reply to him as directly referring to the things he talked about. In that case Boxman would also be angry about employed women who don't date unemployed men and not only about unemployed women who don't date unemployed men (basically women who want a man to be the sole provider are evil but women who don't want to be the sole provider themselves and want a partner to contribute equally are also evil).

If my interpretation of what Boxman said is wrong then I still think it'd be better for him to just date women who have a job instead of flying into a rage about unemployed women who only want to date a man who has a job - especially since he himself doesn't seem to want to date unemployed women anyway.

I don't think most women here deny that a lot of women care a lot about a man's income and most women care to some extent about a man's income. They just don't think that it's the top priority of every woman.
Some men who are unemployed or have a low paying job have a girlfriend. Yes, that you have a low paying job is a big reason why you don't have a girlfriend. That you are autistic and have some social anxiety issues also is a big reason why you don't have a girlfriend.

I don't have a boyfriend and never had a boyfriend because I am autistic and have social anxiety issues too. I'm also unemployed (still in education) and even though I am a woman and still in education being unemployed is slightly detrimental to finding a boyfriend, but that I am autistic and have social anxiety issues alone is enough of a reason why I don't have a boyfriend.

I'm not claiming to be in the same situation you are in though. I guess, I have more ways of finding a partner left, I haven't tried yet, than you do. I haven't tried online dating yet, for example and I probably won't as long as I am still living with my parents (they may be a bit overprotective and I think they might not approve of it).

Some would, but they'll probably never meet him. A lot of them probably have overprotective parents and are not on dating sites. Where else than on dating sites would he meet a girl as his anxiety issues make it very difficult for him to approach women and women in a similar situation to his are probably not confident enough to approach him either, plus they probably wouldn't know that he is one of the few guys who would date them.

Actually I knew a women in her mid to late twenties a few years ago who had never had a boyfriend whom sly reminds me of and she would likely have dated a guy like sly (she would have unless her parents would have stopped her from doing so) but what are the chances that she'll ever meets him?

No, I am not denying that in some situations similar to sly's it is more difficult as a man.
Yet there are women in a similar situation who would date him, but they are rare and even if one lived in his neighbourhood they might never get to know each other well enough to realize this. It's not that the ideal kind of girl for sly doesn't exist, but additionally to being a rare kind it's also a kind of girl that is difficult to get to know. Actually sly is one guy who would be a good match for a female version of himself.
Yes, sly is in a hard situation and it would make most people unhappy, but, being female does not make it impossible to be in the same situation (even if the chances of being may not be the same; but it kind of depends on what kind of disabilities and disadvantages as a reason to be single you count as the same situation).

What could he do though?

There's a reason he complains here so much about it, as you've said its very diffocult for him and he is in an unfortunate position and lots of people here gang up on him.

I'm in a very similar position to Sly.