Should I cut ties with this person?
Sadly, I never go to experience young love. Even my first relationship, freshman year of college, was so fraught with hassle and frustration, that it hardly passes for "young love". It soured me on pretty much all relationships ever since. I went from viewing them as something beautiful and fun, to a glorified escort service. (And later, I started seeing real escorts.) The closest I came to young love was during a brief encounter with a girl I once met on a cruise: I was 29, she was 23. By then, I already lost a tooth and started losing hair, but the feeling was eerily similar. (I lost another tooth and 15% of my hair since then.
It is unfortunate, yes. Personally, I don't understand parents who say their children can't date. Why not allow them to date but with age/maturity/life-space appropriate parameters? You never know when someone is going to meet the person they are meant to be with. Trying to cut that off for your children doesn't strike me as necessary. Most teens will break up organically. But very so often they actually are meant to be. I find that adorable.
It wasn't me, either, but I had better luck in my mid-thirties
I am sorry this whole area of life has been negative for you. I hope that changes someday. You don't have to end up with someone, or even date if you don't want to ... it would just be good for you to have positive experiences and perceptions.
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
I am sorry this whole area of life has been negative for you. I hope that changes someday. You don't have to end up with someone, or even date if you don't want to ... it would just be good for you to have positive experiences and perceptions.
I am sorry this whole area of life has been negative for you. I hope that changes someday. You don't have to end up with someone, or even date if you don't want to ... it would just be good for you to have positive experiences and perceptions.
Depends on the people involved, although as a broad generalization you aren't completely wrong.
I still wish it for you, something positive. In whatever way would work best for you. Because I'm kind of like that, wanting people to have positive life experiences instead of bad ones.
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
Sadly, I never go to experience young love. Even my first relationship, freshman year of college, was so fraught with hassle and frustration, that it hardly passes for "young love". It soured me on pretty much all relationships ever since. I went from viewing them as something beautiful and fun, to a glorified escort service. (And later, I started seeing real escorts.) The closest I came to young love was during a brief encounter with a girl I once met on a cruise: I was 29, she was 23. By then, I already lost a tooth and started losing hair, but the feeling was eerily similar. (I lost another tooth and 15% of my hair since then.
It is unfortunate, yes. Personally, I don't understand parents who say their children can't date. Why not allow them to date but with age/maturity/life-space appropriate parameters? You never know when someone is going to meet the person they are meant to be with. Trying to cut that off for your children doesn't strike me as necessary. Most teens will break up organically. But very so often they actually are meant to be. I find that adorable.
It wasn't me, either, but I had better luck in my mid-thirties
I am sorry this whole area of life has been negative for you. I hope that changes someday. You don't have to end up with someone, or even date if you don't want to ... it would just be good for you to have positive experiences and perceptions.
My sister had a group of friends when she was 16 and the only one who wasn't allowed to date was the one who managed to get pregnant. It was a girl from a conservative christian family.
You found someone you care about and who feels the same way back. That doesn't come along every day. I would not give up on it unless there was a specific other girl that you were psoitive you liked more and who liked you back. If Jenny is worth anything to you then fight for her. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.
It seems as though Jenny and I are through. She hasn't texted me since early February, and I kept messaging her until early April.
Honestly, I'm not too upset about it. I'm happy that I can move forward and meet new people without having to maintain a pseudo-relationship with someone over the phone. When I look back on this, I don't think I'll think of it as my first relationship.
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They say perfection is the ultimate imperfection. Or maybe that's just what I say.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
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"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
It was very common for freshman girls to date senior guys when I was growing up. It wasn't frowned upon at all. It was considered "normal."
When I was a senior, I dated a sophomore.
This is because girls mature faster than boys. Many freshman boys are still kids. It would be "perverted" for a fully-developed 14-year-old girl to go out with a 14-year-old boy who still really looks like a kid. I looked like a kid when I was 14.
To be honest, I think it’s more the girls are flattered by an older guy being interested in them. It’s normal during adult years, but at school, that’s a massive age gap. Anyone dating someone even a year older than them was seen as “probably cool”.
Just remember to keep communications open. You gotta talk talk and talk some more. Long distance relationships aren't easy but they are workable. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and since I moved we haven't seen each other in almost a year despite him also having left NY as well. Things go well for the time being, and as long as you keep the lines of communication open then you're good to go. Skype often, or whenever you get a chance, pictures and the like, sometimes you just gotta be creative at the end of the day (:
