14 Jun 2018, 4:17 pm
Just an update for anyone who is still interested... after 10 weeks of largely silence from him and denial, mixed with periods of civility and failed attempts to get in touch by means other than text, I decided to move on.
I have been so unhappy for so long, and someone asked me out for a drink. I went as a friend but there was more there, and I felt that, despite having had no response for two weeks, I needed to put in writing that things are over between us and he needs to be aware of that in a definitive way which I didn’t feel a 10 week separation really gave.
The response was initially accepting, but within hours became vitriolic. I did not tell him that I had moved on to the extent that I am seeing other people - it was unexpected and not planned at all, and only cemented a decision which was already made. It gave me Dutch courage, if you like. I was sensitive at first, but when he became vitriolic I was forced to be direct. I’m now back in a place of anxiety, concerned that he will hurt himself and bring ramifications for everyone, as well as himself. What did I do to deserve this destructive force in my life? Can anyone reassure me about the likelihood of him really damaging himself?
Feeling sure, but scared. 
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
15 Jun 2018, 5:56 pm
I have been so unhappy for so long, and someone asked me out for a drink. I went as a friend but there was more there, and I felt that, despite having had no response for two weeks, I needed to put in writing that things are over between us and he needs to be aware of that in a definitive way which I didn’t feel a 10 week separation really gave.
The response was initially accepting, but within hours became vitriolic. I did not tell him that I had moved on to the extent that I am seeing other people - it was unexpected and not planned at all, and only cemented a decision which was already made. It gave me Dutch courage, if you like. I was sensitive at first, but when he became vitriolic I was forced to be direct. I’m now back in a place of anxiety, concerned that he will hurt himself and bring ramifications for everyone, as well as himself. What did I do to deserve this destructive force in my life? Can anyone reassure me about the likelihood of him really damaging himself?
Feeling sure, but scared.
Well from what you said before, it sounds like its not uncommon for him to threaten self harm and not follow through so my personal opinion is it is unlikely. However even if he did harm himself that is not your responsibility, its over with you and him...seems like his parents are aware of his issues so he has them for support and to take him to the hospital if they are concerned he might do something.
I know it may be difficult but you have to try to let go of feelings of obligations to him. I mean based on your posts it would be a bad idea for you to reach out to him, because then he might thing he has a chance of getting you back and he needs to move on to.
