Even medicine isn't helping me

Post Reply New Topic

I would rather not encounter my last two ex-friends, though, because they really belittled me for many things and bragged about their successes to me. One of them even told me to "get your (mine) head out of your ass" but it was ok for her to say things like "All guys suck!" and blame her ex-boyfriends for why her relationships collapsed.

I don't want to give up on my dream to have a loving partner and it sounds like you want me to do so.

"I would rather not encounter my last two ex-friends, though, because they really belittled me for many things and bragged about their successes to me. One of them even told me to "get your (mine) head out of your ass" but it was ok for her to say things like "All guys suck!" and blame her ex-boyfriends for why her relationships collapsed."

So what, so what, so what, so what, so what...? Are they someone you look up to? If not, then consider the source and don't listen to them.

"I don't want to give up on my dream to have a loving partner and it sounds like you want me to do so."

And where did I specifically say I wanted you to give up your dream of having a partner? There's those obsessive thoughts again.

If you're finding you're having obsessive thoughts, maybe you could use more to occupy your mind with. Imo a plan and some time to achieve some goals that would get you closer to the relationship you want would be great for you. You could then be using your mental energy in a manner that is productive, and in working towards being your most attractive, authentic self, increase your chances of getting that relationship you want.

I'm sometimes asked what my goals are and it's a rather thorny question for me because I feel like I don't have any. I can't stick with most things because I get frustrated that they're taking too long or they aren't going anywhere so I quit while other people don't appear to struggle with them.

Its not going to make you give up wanting a girlfriend, but it might help you quit obsessing over not having one and beating yourself up so much over it. That way you can improve various aspects of your life which could help on the path to finding a relationship but also the path to simply feeling better about yourself.

Also by people who hurt you, you mean people in the past that have picked on you or been a**holes right? How many of those people are even in your life now? Why even worry about proving ghosts of the past wrong?....Just live for you not to prove some stupid bullies from the past wrong. If you really want to beat them, just leave them in the past and out of your life where they belong

I will say I don't have the feeling like I am being filled up with an oily substance (I wonder if there's a medical explanation for it) when I get depressed but I still have thoughts like "How much longer will it take to finally meet that girl?" and feeling like the odd man out in social situations, especially if couples are in the area. I went to a music show last night and I saw many couples and it made me wish I had a girlfriend to enjoy the experience with. Unfortunately, I also started thinking maybe it will never happen since I am so far behind socially. It also looked like if you don't drink or smoke, girls at those kinds of shows don't want to interact with you. I don't like how alcohol tastes generally and I've never tried smoking; I was told growing up that it was bad so I didn't want to be considered "bad". Later on, I shed that outlook but I still don't do it because I don't have any interest in doing so as well as the fact smoke irritates my nose and eyes. But because I don't do those things, I seem to be unable to truly join in socially.

I do mean the school bullies as well as some family members. I will say I am getting along better with my older brother but some of the psychological programming he put into my head still comes up.

Trying to cure obsessive thoughts when you want a girlfriend is about the most stupid thing I've ever heard.

And I don't even have to question if it even is possible to do...

Some insist that is what I need to do, though.

Rdos also thinks that gazing at women across the room means you have a relationship with them and that people should have multiple relationships at once. He also thinks that people on the autism spectrum should ONLY date others on the spectrum.

I’m not opposed to going out with multiple MOOS if you aren’t committed to anyone. I think it’s to be expected and nobody’s business. But people do expect exclusivity at some point along with commitment. And I think you can set whatever criteria you want for who you date.

Exclusively singling out autistic girls is problematic because they aren’t as easily found as autistic boys. Plus you have the issues of autistics themselves. Why assume two autistics would make the best match? Ideally you would think they would understand each other more than NT’s would. But you have to consider situations where one person is having a meltdown with self-harm potential while the other is in the middle of a week or two of “me time.” Not saying it can’t or shouldn’t be done, just saying you have to think about it and be careful. If you limit yourself to only these kinds of relationships, you’re making the process much more needlessly difficult with even more risk of not ever finding anyone.

Marknis clearly finds “special” girls unattractive. Enough said.

Playing games is more rewarding, but you need to start it some way and gazing might be one.



People should at least consider it.



Uhmm, no. I think neurodiverse people should primarily "date" other neurodiverse people as that gives greater chance of success.



I'm completely unable to be romantically interested in more than one girl at the time. Serial dating would not work for me.



I just decide to disagree to most of it.

There is a much larger potential with ND-ND relationships that simply isn't possible to achieve with mixed ones. Especially in the communication area.

First of all you gotta learn how to clap back. If someone says some stuff to you like that then you need to clap back and tell them the truth about themselves. Maybe she did something and cause her ex to quit her or something. Sometimes when people play dirty you gotta him em back twice as hard. If the guy did quit her and you throw that in her face, she won't have a come back and her spirit will be crushed.

I know it sounds messed up to give someone advice to basically rip another's soul to shreds but coming from someone who's ALWAYS had people telling them stuff about their lives I've pretty much always had to clap back in some way shape or form. I cut deep if I know enough stuff about a person.

Everything goes hand in hand. The depression makes you obsess over what you don't have, and that obsession makes you less attractive, reducing the odds of finding what you want. Taking care of the depression is likely to not only make you feel happier, but also make you more attractive. Give it time and, if the medication still doesn't work, move onto plan B. or C. or D. or Z.

Don't worry about no longer caring if you do or don't have a girlfriend. In fact, it would be great if you stopped caring. Do you have any idea how many people find that special someone shortly after they stop looking? The want can be unattractive. Contentment is attractive. And, believe me, you aren't going to reach a place where you won't be interested when the opportunity arises with someone that meets your needs. Not caring is not the same as incapable of being interested.

I don't really know the number of people finding special partners when they weren't looking. I suppose depression makes the concept difficult for me to take it in. I also feel like if I stopped thinking about wanting a girlfriend that it would mean all the years since I became depressed would be wasted. How can I make myself feel like I haven't wasted anything?

Can I ask which medicine you are taking?

Honestly? You can’t stop looking if you want a girlfriend.

You are male.

Wellbutrin.