I want a gothic/punk/alternative girlfriend but can't

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Why can't Goths like baseball?

I've seen gothic or punk girls with guys who weren't dressed like them at music shows. These guys were drinking, smoking, and had tattoos, though. I used to hope being outsider would be enough but it wasn't.

Aspies just lack something that makes interaction a breeze. Don’t be too hard on yourself comparing yourself to your brother.

Honestly these 'subculture' groups behave like clones, and if you're not a 100% clone like them they shun you.

I don't like them, I prefer more diversified and mainstream groups.

Exorcizo te, Katy get out of this body!

Finding someone who shares your interests will be much more important than finding someone who is into the look. A "normal" looking girl who is into you might be perfectly happy "updating" her look once she realizes what look turns you on. While you can't expect someone to change for you, or even ask it, you have to remember that hair color, make up and clothes choices are fleeting. A person can easily play around with those without becoming someone different, and girls often do for any of a variety of reasons.

Boo's been bitten and is now one of them! Shoot, shoot!

It wasn't until I was 17 I found out I had Aspergers. Before that, I had no idea what was wrong with me.

There were some gothic girls at the high school I went to but I didn't hang out with them because gothic culture had negative connotations in my area and I had an immature outlook that made me judgemental. I really regret that because I could've made some lasting friends.

Well, yeah. I do want someone who shares my interests. Whenever I see a couple checking out manga books and anime DVDs together at the library, I feel envious. When I see a metal head or punk couple wearing either the same band t-shirts or just metal or punk t-shirts in general, I wonder why I can't be in a relationship like that. I'd rather be with a nerdy girl who shares my interests instead of the hot party girl who prefers rap music.

Uhh I wish I could grant you a girl like that, I mean like with my boyfriend I want to sort of get into his interests and you know be included as well as part of it...like I want to contribute. He's into warhammer stuff so yeah, I am trying to get into that as well. And I probably sound like a broken record, the only way is to try and meet people into some simular stuff...but I get that it is easier said than done. I mean I am nervous about joining my boyfriend for a war-hammer miniatures thing, half if not most the people there are going to be socially awkward nerds and weird people that got picked on in school....like me. But I am still nervous about looking like a dumbass or making a fool of myself in front of them. But the only way I can get past that is to go...and see that they are not so intimidating.

See I think you need to try and find some other adult age people that have struggled with the kinds of things you have. I mean sure I have a boyfriend, but I am still a complete social failure like I don't know how to talk to people or not look akward around people if I am not talking directly to them....like the other day I saw a couple people I met from the other apartment with my boyfriend. They seem cool but yet I went out to get something out of the car...and just kind of went about that and didn't say hello...which for all I know they were too distracted to tell. Thing is I had met them a couple days before so I could have just said hey or acknowledged them but I couldn't bring myself to...so I just went about my buisiness got the thing out of the car and went back in. And two days later I am stressing over hoping I didn't seem rude to them by not saying hey when I went out to get something out of the car while they were out there smoking.

Basically you are not the only person who missed out on the supposed 'rites of age' that most teenagers go through...that is me to. I didn't go to my highschool prom because I didn't have any real friends and didn't want to listen to dumb hip hop/pop music for a night. You know what I did, I stayed at home and watched horror movies, that is what I did on prom night. And I don't regret it, for all I know the other kids would have done something to embarrass me I was quite an outcast at that point. So I figured I'd avoid the prom scene from the stephen king movie Carrie by not going.

Eeehm i can share from the "goth-girl" perspective. Manga isnt so popular to begin with. I think that came from the emo subgroup beginning of 2005 into goth szene. That emo szene style is a rip off of japanese pop culture with a trashy punk vibe and listening to stuff like my chemical romance *i even had to google it. If you dress up like this a real goth enthusiast will just walk past at you. If they are the closed minded sort ofc. If you want to aproach a goth girl you need some deep thoughts, yes sounds weird out of the common society frame of thinking,but its a way how you could open up a conversation. Many goths are admirers of art, photography, architecture, histort of all sorts. Horror movies with a good concept of art like adams family. Poems, writeing lyrics or even stories. Edgar allan poe if you like most goths love him. Or one movie artist especially tim burton. Those are things you can reach a goths attention somehow. Art like crafting things like clothes, developeing your own sense of dark fashion to express yourself with, steampunk things futuristic things, macabre what ever is in your mind. If you like to draw dark arts like vampire, dragons, castles what ever incloudes any of these youll find an easy way to talk to them. Or if you do music then share they like to see such things as long as it doesnt sound like justin biber or any local radio theyll even listen and give you advice. One big thing is goth music. Dont say evanesence is your favorite just keep it as a nongoth seecret. Try sisters of mercy instead
I hope this helps.

Manga actually is popular. You can easily buy it from Barnes & Noble and comic book stores, even in the Bible Belt. It's just that I fell behind socially and I live in a city with a shallow social scene. Not everyone in my city is a redneck, hip hopper, or average Bible Belter but those groups make up the majority while people like me are in the extreme minority and if you fell behind socially, the deck is heavily stacked against you.

Emo also evolved out of hardcore punk and predates the 00's. As far as 'scene fashion' goes, I see a lot more American and European pop culture influences than Japanese in it. It also isn't just emo fans who like anime and manga.
Trey Azagthoth of Morbid Angel loves Sailor Moon, Testament have an instrumental song called Urotsukidoji (A hentai), Lou Koller of Sick of It All wore a t-shirt of Goku in their video of 'Scratch the Surface' and also has a tattoo of him, Danzig loves Devilman, Kanye West is a fan of Akira, and Daft Punk's music video for One More Time was made up of clips from an anime. None of these musicians are emo. One of my friends loves anime and manga but when it comes to music, he listens to music like Five Finger Death Punch and DragonForce. I know another anime fan but he cares little for American music and loves J-Pop.

I don't listen to bands like My Chemical Romance or Evanscence and I don't dress "emo". I like Type O Negative, Paradise Lost, My Dying Bride, and Amorphis, bands that fall under the gothic/doom metal labels. The goth kids at school preferred AFI, Children of Bodom, Slipknot, Cradle of Filth, and Dimmu Borgir. I never heard them listen to or wear any t-shirts of Sisters of Mercy, Joy Division, or My Bloody Valentine.

Last edited by Marknis on 28 May 2018, 3:05 am, edited 2 times in total.

I know some places that play Warhammer but even the closest ones you have to drive 32 and 43 minutes respectively to get to (It's hard to get anywhere in Texas without driving). I would also have to give up spending on my other hobbies just to get even a beginner's set of minatures. I would be open to giving it a try if someone had a spare miniature set and the game was entry level play but I don't know anyone personally who plays it.

I do sometimes participate in a meet up group in my area and they'll have game nights atleast once a month. We even did Dungeons & Dragons a couple of times. However, I can't always join in on the conversations (Especially when they talk about traveling abroad or excelling at the hobbies I wish I was good at but I am not) or the conversation will fizzle out after a few sentences.

I know that Colorado isn't part of the Bible Belt but did your school have some Bible Belt-like characteristics? (Btw, I've been to Colorado once before.)

And Fay, I hope I didn't come across like a jerk. I am just giving my observations on certain things. I do agree with you on deep conversations. I crave those kinds of conversations but they don't happen often for me.

Maybe i failed to express myself clear and i was a bit sarcastic it wasnt meant as any offense or insult. But why exactly it must be gothic you know labels dont make any better people. At the end its all the same charade if you put yourself into one thing and restricting yourself of meeting eventually awesome people and they could be everywhere and maybe "the dude that you perceive as a redneck could possibly be one of your best friends youd never thought to have."

To maybe do search some gothic comunity online maybe youll find locals. Not everyone that listen goth is dressed up as such