30 Jun 2018, 2:05 pm
Twilightprincess wrote:
Not all women are like that. I certainly wouldn’t want to make rules and expect a man to follow them. Any relationship I’d want to be a part of would be based on mutual respect, love, and a willingness to compromise.
I get it. It's coming off bitter, but it's more of a cautionary tale. Also, oftentimes, control is presented under the guise of "love", "caring", and "compromise". Some people can see through it, some can't. That's how it was done in my family when I was growing up. In other words, I was always the one "compromising", because my family "cared about me". 
Fnord wrote:
Have you considered a career as a cloistered monk? I hear they have great benefits. In some cases, vows of silence are taken by all members, so you wouldn't have to listen to anyone! Of course, you wouldn;t be able to talk to anyone else, but that's the price the entire world would be willing to pay for your peace of mind.
Nah! Monk means church, and I don't think they'll allow an atheist like me to join their ranks. Plus, it's not a lifestyle I can handle.
Last edited by Aspie1 on 30 Jun 2018, 2:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
30 Jun 2018, 2:05 pm
30 Jun 2018, 2:08 pm
Aspie1 wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Not all women are like that. I certainly wouldn’t want to make rules and expect a man to follow them. Any relationship I’d want to be a part of would be based on mutual respect, love, and a willingness to compromise.
I get it. It's coming off bitter, but it's more of a cautionary tale. Also, oftentimes, control is presenting under the guise of "love", "caring", and "compromise". Some people can see through it, some can't. That's how it was done in my family when I was growing up. In other words, I was always the one "compromising", because my family "cared about me". Fnord wrote:
Have you considered a career as a cloistered monk? I hear they have great benefits. In some cases, vows of silence are taken by all members, so you wouldn't have to listen to anyone! Of course, you wouldn;t be able to talk to anyone else, but that's the price the entire world would be willing to pay for your peace of mind.
Nah! Monk means church, and I don't think they'll allow an atheist like me to join their ranks. Plus, it's not a lifestyle I can handle.I think it’s important to find the right person and not be desperate enough to just choose the first girl that comes along.
30 Jun 2018, 2:11 pm
30 Jun 2018, 2:13 pm
30 Jun 2018, 2:16 pm
Twilightprincess wrote:
How should these women be put in their place?
How do we know they’re actually giving their boyfriends BS?
How do we know they’re actually giving their boyfriends BS?
"Giving their boyfriends BS" would be going too far. But my friends abandoned their previous pleasures very quickly and very abruptly. Also, the girlfriends are far more introverted and homebody-ish than my friends ever were, and my friends just went along with it. When I asked them why they won't stand their ground, their only explanation was: "It's how a relationship is supposed to be."
Well, if that's indeed true, I'm staying single for the rest of my life.
30 Jun 2018, 2:19 pm
Aspie1 wrote:
"It's how a relationship is supposed to be." Well, if that's indeed true, I'm staying single for the rest of my life.
Well, if that's indeed true, I'm staying single for the rest of my life.It's just that your friends are weak and/or submissive, I don't think relationships necessarily have to be like that.
30 Jun 2018, 2:27 pm
Peacesells wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
"It's how a relationship is supposed to be." Well, if that's indeed true, I'm staying single for the rest of my life.
Well, if that's indeed true, I'm staying single for the rest of my life.It's just that your friends are weak and/or submissive, I don't think relationships necessarily have to be like that.
It sounds like they enjoy their current relationships more than “previous pleasures.” It sounds like it’s more upsetting that the friends have grown and changed than that the girls are bossing the men around.
30 Jun 2018, 2:31 pm
30 Jun 2018, 2:33 pm
30 Jun 2018, 2:35 pm
30 Jun 2018, 2:35 pm
30 Jun 2018, 2:46 pm
Twilightprincess wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
"It's how a relationship is supposed to be." Well, if that's indeed true, I'm staying single for the rest of my life.
Well, if that's indeed true, I'm staying single for the rest of my life.It's just that your friends are weak and/or submissive, I don't think relationships necessarily have to be like that.
It sounds like they enjoy their current relationships more than “previous pleasures.” It sounds like it’s more upsetting that the friends have grown and changed than that the girls are bossing the men around.
Well I don't know his friends, but I know people who get ordered around and put up with that BS (my brother, and no being like that doesn't mean that you are grown). I had the impression that his friends are like that too.
Point is, I was telling him that a relationship doesn't have to be like that, especially if you have a spine and make things clear from the start.
30 Jun 2018, 3:02 pm
Peacesells wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Aspie1 wrote:
"It's how a relationship is supposed to be." Well, if that's indeed true, I'm staying single for the rest of my life.
Well, if that's indeed true, I'm staying single for the rest of my life.It's just that your friends are weak and/or submissive, I don't think relationships necessarily have to be like that.
It sounds like they enjoy their current relationships more than “previous pleasures.” It sounds like it’s more upsetting that the friends have grown and changed than that the girls are bossing the men around.
Well I don't know his friends, but I know people who get ordered around and put up with that BS (my brother, and no being like that doesn't mean that you are grown). I had the impression that his friends are like that too.
Point is, I was telling him that a relationship doesn't have to be like that, especially if you have a spine and make things clear from the start.
Yes. I would rather someone was straight with me about what they wanted. I'd hate for someone to be playing along with me and what I like, but be secretly unhappy
even if it turned out we weren't compatible and had to part ways, I'd rather that than live a lie.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 44
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30 Jun 2018, 3:31 pm
30 Jun 2018, 4:25 pm
hurtloam wrote:
Yes. I would rather someone was straight with me about what they wanted. I'd hate for someone to be playing along with me and what I like, but be secretly unhappy even if it turned out we weren't compatible and had to part ways, I'd rather that than live a lie.
even if it turned out we weren't compatible and had to part ways, I'd rather that than live a lie.Sure, and in that case you could even be friends perhaps if you still are on good terms.
