My NT Partner revealed he doesn't like tongue kissing me.

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LoneLoyalWolf
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02 Jul 2018, 11:01 am

^I love you :heart: :wink:

Applause!


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kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2018, 11:10 am

I had to be TAUGHT to like tongue-kissing (known as “French-kissing” in the 1970s).

I was 15. This girl practically dragged me into her apartment building vestibule. Right then and there, she taught me how to do it RIGHT :heart:



LoneLoyalWolf
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02 Jul 2018, 11:15 am

Kraftie is providing lessons for a fee if people are curious :mrgreen:


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nick007
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02 Jul 2018, 11:18 am

I never liked tongue kissing my girlfriend but she's the only person I ever kissed. She wants me to but I hate the feeling. I have no idea why someone who used to like it would stop


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TwilightPrincess
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02 Jul 2018, 11:23 am

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:
Kraftie is providing lessons for a fee if people are curious :mrgreen:


What would the fair market price be for such a lesson?


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kraftiekortie
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02 Jul 2018, 11:26 am

Really....tongue-kissing is an art, rather than a science.

In order for it to be successful, you and your lover have to be in sync.....just like lovemaking in general.



TwilightPrincess
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02 Jul 2018, 11:35 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Really....tongue-kissing is an art, rather than a science.

In order for it to be successful, you and your lover have to be in sync.....just like lovemaking in general.


I think that’s true. I’ve only found it enjoyable with one person, and we were pretty in sync.

Otherwise, it’s kind of unpleasant.


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HistoryGal
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03 Jul 2018, 5:03 pm

I hate kissing with the tongue as well.



jimmy m
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03 Jul 2018, 6:54 pm

I am a male Aspie and I do not find tongue kissing to be that great. One thing to consider is whether your boyfriend is an introvert or an extrovert. About half of the people in the world are introverts and the other half extrovert. Most Aspies are introverts but not all. An introvert gains their energy, they recharge their batteries by being alone. An extrovert gains their energy from being in a group. They bounce off one person and then another and before you know it they are recharged. I am an introvert and my wife is an extrovert. I enjoy peace and quiet but I also want my wife to be the best extrovert she can be and in order to have that occur she must socialize. So I give her all the freedom to do so and encourage her to meet new people. In our town my wife knows almost everyone and everyone knows her but I am the exact opposite. But it works. We have been married 45 years and are happy.


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WallflowerAsparagus
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03 Jul 2018, 8:12 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I had to be TAUGHT to like tongue-kissing (known as “French-kissing” in the 1970s).

I was 15. This girl practically dragged me into her apartment building vestibule. Right then and there, she taught me how to do it RIGHT :heart:


Hot dang! :heart:


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WallflowerAsparagus
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03 Jul 2018, 8:28 pm

Esmerelda Weatherwax wrote:
Oh my. I'm sorry, I'm going to say this bluntly - run away. Get away. ASAP.

He isn't honest, and I would bet dollars to donuts he is cheating on you. That type of reaction to what should be an intimate delight is always a bad sign.

(For the record: I myself am a cis het demisexual serial monogamist. But I don't think everyone else has to be all of that, or any of it! I know there are people who make polyamory work, and a wide wonderful world of LGBTQ variation in how people love and are loved, and people who are happily joyously asexual all their lives. I get soppily happy for folks who find happiness / love in any form that works for them. But I think dishonesty in any relationship is a deal breaker, and cheating on your ostensible beloved is as dishonest as it gets.)

Really, get away from this guy, he's not good to you and he's not good for you.


I agree on your personal points here, I have friends who have polygamous relationships and have known people who are asexual, I am 100% supportive of what they feel comfort and pleasure from, it's all about respect and what feels comfortable for that person.

I have thoughts at times about going away, because I feel this is too much. He sees it as just a hurdle and once we get over all this stuff, we will be fine.... I highly doubt that.

I highly doubt he would be cheating. I have thought about it, but he is home most of the time other than going to work (I know his work hours and signs that he has been at work.) and the only times he goes out recently is to see shows with me (He did go to one without me, but I knew he had gone) or going to the shop or just going to do band stuff with his friends and he sends me pictures which prove he is there, such as he and his friends playing with one of the friend's cats.

He has been cheated on in the past pretty badly. His first girlfriend gave birth 9 months to the day that she cheated on him and broke up with him on the same day. But it seems like she would have been cheating on him more than that one time.

I can see that he loves me very much, he gets very upset over me bringing these things up. I told him I was thinking of leaving him because of all the lying and he broke down and cried like I've never seen another person cry. It was that intense.

I asked and asked last night and he took my tone of voice and pauses (which, I don't have much control of these things at times) in a bad way and made it seem like I didn't like him passionately kissing me anyway, which if I didn't why is there even a problem??
And he basically put it down to me expressing that I really liked kissing the Aspie man I was with before that he didn't want to kiss me, he felt inadequate. That does not explain the pushing away, that does not explain why it stopped at the time it stopped. I feel like the blame has been put on me. I explained that the connection is different and everyone kisses differently because we are all different god damn people.

I wish we didn't live together.


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HistoryGal
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03 Jul 2018, 8:29 pm

Nothing wrong with not liking tonsil hockey.



WallflowerAsparagus
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03 Jul 2018, 8:34 pm

jimmy m wrote:
I am a male Aspie and I do not find tongue kissing to be that great. One thing to consider is whether your boyfriend is an introvert or an extrovert. About half of the people in the world are introverts and the other half extrovert. Most Aspies are introverts but not all. An introvert gains their energy, they recharge their batteries by being alone. An extrovert gains their energy from being in a group. They bounce off one person and then another and before you know it they are recharged. I am an introvert and my wife is an extrovert. I enjoy peace and quiet but I also want my wife to be the best extrovert she can be and in order to have that occur she must socialize. So I give her all the freedom to do so and encourage her to meet new people. In our town my wife knows almost everyone and everyone knows her but I am the exact opposite. But it works. We have been married 45 years and are happy.


I think he is an ambivert. He likes to be alone to read and things, but he loves chatting to people and going to parties and he talks a lot. It's wonderful you are both able to make that work, so much respect to the both of you. :heart: Beautiful.


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WallflowerAsparagus
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03 Jul 2018, 8:36 pm

HistoryGal wrote:
I hate kissing with the tongue as well.


I never used to like it until I found the right person, the right connection and grew and felt comfortable with myself. If someone random wanted to kiss me, I would be repulsed. I wouldn't be able or want to do it. But someone I have a strong connection with and feel love for, is a different story.
But with everyone or just the person you last kissed?
My partner has never pushed any other woman away, even women that have tongue kissed him that he claims to have not even found attractive in the slightest. But his partner of just over two years that he lives with and says he loves - nope. And he wonders why I think it's my fault.


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WallflowerAsparagus
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03 Jul 2018, 8:37 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Really....tongue-kissing is an art, rather than a science.

In order for it to be successful, you and your lover have to be in sync.....just like lovemaking in general.


Indeed! :heart:


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kraftiekortie
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03 Jul 2018, 8:38 pm

In order to "do it right," you have to not slobber.....and you have to caress each other's tongues, and never even get NEAR the tonsils.