First date in 6 years, now what?

Page 2 of 6 [ 81 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

Gallia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Mar 2018
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,063

13 Jul 2018, 6:53 am

no it's a good sign if she agreed to a second ^ ^ good luck!


_________________
Diagnosed with ADHD
Online Autism/ Asperger's Screening = 38 (Autism likely)


Gallia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Mar 2018
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,063

13 Jul 2018, 6:55 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Take it easy, don't rush. Don't bombard her with texts, stay "hard to get" - if she asks you why you don't text much tell her that you have a busy life. Just keep it to one conversation per day and keep it to the necessary minimum and mostly geared toward meeting her again.

And don't ever tell her that it was the first date in 6 years.


No. Just...no!

If a guy just kept our conversation to the necessary minimum, I wouldn’t think he was interested in me.



Which will make you chase him, but if he shows too much interest then you will label him desperate.

Sly, don't listen to Twilightprincess..


i think showing too much interest is a no no but also don't be cold. find a happy medium.


_________________
Diagnosed with ADHD
Online Autism/ Asperger's Screening = 38 (Autism likely)


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,677
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Jul 2018, 6:58 am

Gallia wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Take it easy, don't rush. Don't bombard her with texts, stay "hard to get" - if she asks you why you don't text much tell her that you have a busy life. Just keep it to one conversation per day and keep it to the necessary minimum and mostly geared toward meeting her again.

And don't ever tell her that it was the first date in 6 years.


No. Just...no!

If a guy just kept our conversation to the necessary minimum, I wouldn’t think he was interested in me.



Which will make you chase him, but if he shows too much interest then you will label him desperate.

Sly, don't listen to Twilightprincess..


i think showing too much interest is a no no but also don't be cold. find a happy medium.



Knowing sly's caring nature, i know that his 'playing hard to get' would be a happy medium.



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,874

13 Jul 2018, 7:01 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Take it easy, don't rush. Don't bombard her with texts, stay "hard to get" - if she asks you why you don't text much tell her that you have a busy life. Just keep it to one conversation per day and keep it to the necessary minimum and mostly geared toward meeting her again.

And don't ever tell her that it was the first date in 6 years.


No. Just...no!

If a guy just kept our conversation to the necessary minimum, I wouldn’t think he was interested in me.



Which will make you chase him, but if he shows too much interest then you will label him desperate.

Sly, don't listen to Twilightprincess..


This is absurd. I would certainly not chase a man who I didn’t think was interested in me.

Sly should take a woman’s experience here.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,677
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Jul 2018, 7:02 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Take it easy, don't rush. Don't bombard her with texts, stay "hard to get" - if she asks you why you don't text much tell her that you have a busy life. Just keep it to one conversation per day and keep it to the necessary minimum and mostly geared toward meeting her again.

And don't ever tell her that it was the first date in 6 years.


No. Just...no!

If a guy just kept our conversation to the necessary minimum, I wouldn’t think he was interested in me.



Which will make you chase him, but if he shows too much interest then you will label him desperate.

Sly, don't listen to Twilightprincess..


This is absurd. I would certainly not chase a man who I didn’t think was interested in me.

Sly should take a woman’s experience here.


And he also should take a man's experience in dating NT women.

Have you ever dated women, Twilightprincess ?



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 13 Jul 2018, 7:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,677
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Jul 2018, 7:03 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And oh, don't EVER tell her about the ASSBurg-, I mean AS syndrome. Just tell her that you're introvert and not a very social person.


You can absolutely tell her about AS at some point. It’s nice to be open with your partner. It encourages intimacy. I might not tell her right away.

A girl that digs you isn’t going to be turned off by that. She’ll want to learn more about it, so she can be supportive. If she doesn’t like it, she’s not worth your time.



NO , very bad advice, just NO!!

She doesn't dig him yet, they're still at 2nd date only.



Gallia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Mar 2018
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,063

13 Jul 2018, 7:13 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And oh, don't EVER tell her about the ASSBurg-, I mean AS syndrome. Just tell her that you're introvert and not a very social person.


You can absolutely tell her about AS at some point. It’s nice to be open with your partner. It encourages intimacy. I might not tell her right away.

A girl that digs you isn’t going to be turned off by that. She’ll want to learn more about it, so she can be supportive. If she doesn’t like it, she’s not worth your time.



NO , very bad advice, just NO!!

She doesn't dig him yet, they're still at 2nd date only.



i agree, it's too soon to tell her. you need to get to know her better then you'll be able to predict her reaction. last thing you want is to feel rejected because of AS. in fact i wouldn't even talk negatively about yourself (im introvert etc)

take it easy, keep it positive, good luck :D


_________________
Diagnosed with ADHD
Online Autism/ Asperger's Screening = 38 (Autism likely)


AngelRho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile

13 Jul 2018, 7:18 am

Awesome, sly! Go, dog, GO!! !



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,874

13 Jul 2018, 7:19 am

Gallia wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
And oh, don't EVER tell her about the ASSBurg-, I mean AS syndrome. Just tell her that you're introvert and not a very social person.


You can absolutely tell her about AS at some point. It’s nice to be open with your partner. It encourages intimacy. I might not tell her right away.

A girl that digs you isn’t going to be turned off by that. She’ll want to learn more about it, so she can be supportive. If she doesn’t like it, she’s not worth your time.



NO , very bad advice, just NO!!

She doesn't dig him yet, they're still at 2nd date only.



i agree, it's too soon to tell her. you need to get to know her better then you'll be able to predict her reaction. last thing you want is to feel rejected because of AS. in fact i wouldn't even talk negatively about yourself (im introvert etc)

take it easy, keep it positive, good luck :D


I said to tell her “at some point.” I didn’t suggest right away.



Luhluhluh
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Dec 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 755

13 Jul 2018, 7:42 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Take it easy, don't rush. Don't bombard her with texts, stay "hard to get" - if she asks you why you don't text much tell her that you have a busy life. Just keep it to one conversation per day and keep it to the necessary minimum and mostly geared toward meeting her again.

And don't ever tell her that it was the first date in 6 years.


No. Just...no!

If a guy just kept our conversation to the necessary minimum, I wouldn’t think he was interested in me.



Which will make you chase him, but if he shows too much interest then you will label him desperate.

Sly, don't listen to Twilightprincess..


This is absurd. I would certainly not chase a man who I didn’t think was interested in me.

Sly should take a woman’s experience here.


And he also should take a man's experience in dating NT women.

Have you ever dated women, Twilightprincess ?


No, but we've dated men and here's the problem...

I get the idea anyway of PUA is to build attraction in the woman - don't answer calls too quickly, appear busy, etc. Make it look like you have a busy life and you have social value.

But if you actually DON'T have a busy life, you're playing a game - one in which she will eventually find out you've been lying and playing games.

This is kind of why it's important actually have something going on in your life for yourself and not expect your partner to be that something to fill the void that is your life.


_________________
That which does not kill us makes us stranger.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

13 Jul 2018, 7:43 am

Don’t bombard her. But answer every text.



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,874

13 Jul 2018, 7:46 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Take it easy, don't rush. Don't bombard her with texts, stay "hard to get" - if she asks you why you don't text much tell her that you have a busy life. Just keep it to one conversation per day and keep it to the necessary minimum and mostly geared toward meeting her again.

And don't ever tell her that it was the first date in 6 years.


No. Just...no!

If a guy just kept our conversation to the necessary minimum, I wouldn’t think he was interested in me.



Which will make you chase him, but if he shows too much interest then you will label him desperate.

Sly, don't listen to Twilightprincess..


This is absurd. I would certainly not chase a man who I didn’t think was interested in me.

Sly should take a woman’s experience here.


And he also should take a man's experience in dating NT women.

Have you ever dated women, Twilightprincess ?


No, but I’ve been dated and know a thing or two about what I like and don’t like.



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

13 Jul 2018, 7:48 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Don’t bombard her. But answer every text.


I bet your wife is pleased.



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

13 Jul 2018, 8:13 am

Luhluhluh wrote:
This is kind of why it's important actually have something going on in your life for yourself and not expect your partner to be that something to fill the void that is your life.


I definitely agree.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,677
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

13 Jul 2018, 8:26 am

Luhluhluh wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Take it easy, don't rush. Don't bombard her with texts, stay "hard to get" - if she asks you why you don't text much tell her that you have a busy life. Just keep it to one conversation per day and keep it to the necessary minimum and mostly geared toward meeting her again.

And don't ever tell her that it was the first date in 6 years.


No. Just...no!

If a guy just kept our conversation to the necessary minimum, I wouldn’t think he was interested in me.



Which will make you chase him, but if he shows too much interest then you will label him desperate.

Sly, don't listen to Twilightprincess..


This is absurd. I would certainly not chase a man who I didn’t think was interested in me.

Sly should take a woman’s experience here.


And he also should take a man's experience in dating NT women.

Have you ever dated women, Twilightprincess ?


No, but we've dated men and here's the problem...

I get the idea anyway of PUA is to build attraction in the woman - don't answer calls too quickly, appear busy, etc. Make it look like you have a busy life and you have social value.

But if you actually DON'T have a busy life, you're playing a game - one in which she will eventually find out you've been lying and playing games.

This is kind of why it's important actually have something going on in your life for yourself and not expect your partner to be that something to fill the void that is your life.


It is not lying, and it's not a PUA thing.

No one is totally that much void of busyness in life, doesn't he have hobbies? Doesn't he play video games? Doesn't he cook? Doesn't he watch movies?

So meh at you said.



Luhluhluh
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Dec 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 755

13 Jul 2018, 8:45 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Take it easy, don't rush. Don't bombard her with texts, stay "hard to get" - if she asks you why you don't text much tell her that you have a busy life. Just keep it to one conversation per day and keep it to the necessary minimum and mostly geared toward meeting her again.

Which will make you chase him, but if he shows too much interest then you will label him desperate.

It is not lying, and it's not a PUA thing.

No one is totally that much void of busyness in life, doesn't he have hobbies? Doesn't he play video games? Doesn't he cook? Doesn't he watch movies?

So meh at you said.


Intentionally ignoring phone calls, placing limits to conversations to some arbitrary number per day "to make her chase him."

LOL that is PUA tactics and everyone knows it. It's similar to the script as The Rules for women when it came out in the 90s. Play hard to get, make the guy chase you, don't answer his calls, etc. It's obvious game playing, especially if you have to follow a script that someone else has written and sold to you for money.

I do agree to not get overly attached too quickly to one person, and the reason I mentioned hobbies is to keep a person social. The more people you have around you who can provide SOME social contact, the less likely you are to attach yourself in an unhealthy and desperate manner to your date, which will very likely drive them away.

So while the rules and PUA stuff looks good on paper, it does not really address the problem some people have, which is they may live their lives as shut-ins and never have any contact with other human beings.


_________________
That which does not kill us makes us stranger.