My friend and I. . . .. .

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Martyr complex.

Not at all! . . .. . . I am doing it because I get something from the friendship.

Can you never believe some people are just kind and caring?

I can believe people are kind & caring. I observe how they treat themselves & others.

But your post does illustrate what I have been thinking. . . . .so many of you complain of feeling misunderstood, people not giving you a chance etc etc

And when someone tries to stick the distance you presume there must be something the matter with them!

In my experience, there’s something “the matter” with Everybody. I don’t believe in “nt”s. That’s just me though.

I agree with Hobojungle----there is "something the matter" with everyone.

Of course. . . . We are imperfect humans

But it doesn’t make me a martyr because I’m willing to keep trying at a friendship?

No. It doesn't make you a martyr. Certainly not!

You're doing it because you want to do it.

Well, I have my idea about it, and I never put down a lot of effort in a friendship. No regular communication, no exclusiveness, and no expectations. I would only put a lot of effort into it if it could lead to a romance, and if it was clear that would never happen, I'd lose interest. I really never cared if I had friends or social bonds. These typically only exist because there is some mutual benefit to it. Unlike a romance, which doesn't need to come with any benefit at all.

If you’re forcing a friendship with a selfish, unpleasant person (I left out weird, because who cares?) you might be a martyr, codependent, or simply addicted to his drama. Who knows? Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

BUT...

It’s your life. Do what you want Anngables.

But I don’t think he is weird and unpleasant. . . .. . I think he acts differently because he sees the world differently? (Other people disagree)

My main interest at this time is how I find people’s reaction to my decision to try and stick the course contradictory. . . . The complaints on here are of people misinterpreting you, or not giving you a chance.

I put a lot of effort into my friendships. I am married to a beautiful man and have been for 30yrs, I also have a lot of close friends. . .. . . I don’t “need” anything. I would like to have the humour, fun and knowledge of my friend, but if it is not to be that will be ok too.

Yes, some of the complaints on wrongplanet are as you describe. However, if you were to read my own posts, the posts of Hobojungle, you would see nothing of the sort. Please try not to lump us all together. We are individuals. That said, I value your contribution here & hope things work out for you & the people in your social group.