I’m Talking to an Army Guy

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Those who called me out "for that" were often drama queens/kings who have an ideal view on the world.

This generalization is almost always true though; be realistic:
Often these scammers pretend to be army men deployed in Iraq or Afghanistan, the real army men DON'T HAVE TIME for dating apps especially those who are deployed in war zones.

Let's make a bet, shall we? Kitty, ask the 'army man' to do a video call. I bet that he's gonna find an excuse like having a phone with broken camera.

You talk as if you've witnessed this personally.....

It's the most typical scam scenario used on female users; the female version of it is "I am a nurse working in Africa" (often with a gorgeous woman picture). Yes, I have witnessed this crap a lot when I was younger.

And dude....I do live in a war zone area.

I blocked him already

Lebanon a war zone? I guess times have changed. I don't watch the news nor know anything happening in the world right now, so I always assumed Lebanon was the paradise of the Middle East and Beirut the Paris of the Middle East. My parents are from Palestine, which I always knew was an actual war zone, so compared to there I always assumed Lebanon was a stark contrast with the rest of the Middle East and especially the opposite of their Palestinian neighbors. I live in America where I don't pay attention to what is happening down on the other side of the Atlantic.

Not a continuous war zone, fluctuating between being a war zone and a conflict zone....always a conflict zone, surrounded by war zones.

I have mentioned on this site that I had the exact same thing happen to me and it took me years to finally say with 100% certainty it was a scam. These con artists are HIGHLY skilled at what they do and don't exactly open with "need $$$" but usually a well written message that sounds highly personalized but is very generic. The scam artist was very believable and I didn't suspect a thing until they told me their family was in "Jacksonville, FL" which is not generally how anyone who lived in Canada or the US writes about their hometown.

I love the Robert Frost quote, "Good Fences make Good Neighbors." It serves a good World View for internet dating. Take precautions to protect yourself but still be open to meeting your fellow man.

When I was in the military, a lot of the guys would say "leave with a white, come back with a brown." Dangerous careers keep people hypervigilant, and NT hypervilance usually requires reckless behavior to balance out the rollercoaster. It's not everyone, but it exists. If something feels off, it is probably off. If they won't meet you in a public setting where they live, it's a red flag. Another one is if their story changes. I don't know how the female Aspie brain compares to the Male one, but I remember every conversation and little detail. When inconsequential details change or emphasis on language outside of normal patter is over/under detailed...red flag.

Scammers are easy to identify. Money and personal identifiers should never come up in an online conversation. What platform is he using? Check the friends list/followers and see if they are consistent with the Geographical narrative. Do the photos pop up in reverse image searches? Do EXIF or Metadata scrubs return anything? If the conversation moves to email, check the source on the email...is the IP coming back to where he said it would?

That said, I am happy for you and I'm sure everything is on the up and up.

I’m talking to another army guy

Just a helpful reminder, Kitty: several of us on Wrong Planet are veterans, and we would gladly help you verify any information a supposed military member is telling you on a dating site.

Thanks.

I believe there are a couple other places like Stolen Valor, at least one specific to U.S.Navy Seals, but here's a link to SV for anyone interested.
http://www.stolenvalor.com/

Lots of people are using VPNs nowadays including me for things like file-sharing, concerns over the repeal of Net Neutrality rules, & other privacy & security concerns. However a legit person would be upfront about using a VPN if asked/confronted with their IP being different than their location. If the person comes up with a different reason as to why their IP is different like them traveling to another country or something, that's a major red flag. The rest of your advice Guy Incognito is pretty good & should be used by anyone meeting someone from online.

phrase , terms " Army Guy, " instant alarm . sorry . . . from personal experience ., incorrect.
please note phraselogy here .personally speaking, was in , been out, much longer . Words have value.

I’m talking to another army guy, I can really pick them


I thought I read here a long time ago that a real army guy can still come on dating sites if they not deployed or fighting a war zone.