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Does sex require a bond/connection?

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Carl Friedrich Gauss
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16 Aug 2022, 11:25 am

Nades wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Having sex with someone without a regard for that person.....is like humping a rubber doughnut.


Nope. Sex with a female is sex with a female. They feel the same whether you have a connection to them or not.

I've had good convos immediately after having sex with some though. By it's nature, the pair need to feel comfortable just to have sex so that in itself is a bond or connection, regardless of how small.



I tried hard to understand this. But I couldn't. I guess, my brain perceive sex differently. I can not see women (without knowing them, their ideas, feelings, etc) as something to have sex with. Or I can not see legs, vagina, or etc as women. When I have a feeling, I can see the person. I guess my brain wants to feel the soul
with the body. I am going to search/examine this issue later.



Carl Friedrich Gauss
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16 Aug 2022, 11:27 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
I wouldn’t want to have sex with someone that I wasn’t in love with.

Everyone is different, though.



You wouldn't... and in my case, I couldn't.



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16 Aug 2022, 11:31 am

Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I wouldn’t want to have sex with someone that I wasn’t in love with.

Everyone is different, though.



You wouldn't... and in my case, I couldn't.


I probably couldn’t get aroused, either, in that scenario.


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Carl Friedrich Gauss
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16 Aug 2022, 11:37 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I wouldn’t want to have sex with someone that I wasn’t in love with.

Everyone is different, though.



You wouldn't... and in my case, I couldn't.


I probably couldn’t get aroused, either, in that scenario.


Thank you for your replies.



Nades
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16 Aug 2022, 12:01 pm

Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
Nades wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Having sex with someone without a regard for that person.....is like humping a rubber doughnut.


Nope. Sex with a female is sex with a female. They feel the same whether you have a connection to them or not.

I've had good convos immediately after having sex with some though. By it's nature, the pair need to feel comfortable just to have sex so that in itself is a bond or connection, regardless of how small.



I tried hard to understand this. But I couldn't. I guess, my brain perceive sex differently. I can not see women (without knowing them, their ideas, feelings, etc) as something to have sex with. Or I can not see legs, vagina, or etc as women. When I have a feeling, I can see the person. I guess my brain wants to feel the soul
with the body. I am going to search/examine this issue later.


For some people lust can easily take over. Regardless of how short or long I've known them, if they're game then so am I. The time it takes for sex to happen from first laying eyes on each other can be less than a minute and I imagine such short time periods happen up and down the country daily.

With quick encounters I think lust is the primary factor and some are just more prone to giving into it.



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16 Aug 2022, 12:16 pm

Nades wrote:
Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
Nades wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Having sex with someone without a regard for that person.....is like humping a rubber doughnut.


Nope. Sex with a female is sex with a female. They feel the same whether you have a connection to them or not.

I've had good convos immediately after having sex with some though. By it's nature, the pair need to feel comfortable just to have sex so that in itself is a bond or connection, regardless of how small.



I tried hard to understand this. But I couldn't. I guess, my brain perceive sex differently. I can not see women (without knowing them, their ideas, feelings, etc) as something to have sex with. Or I can not see legs, vagina, or etc as women. When I have a feeling, I can see the person. I guess my brain wants to feel the soul
with the body. I am going to search/examine this issue later.


For some people lust can easily take over. Regardless of how short or long I've known them, if they're game then so am I. The time it takes for sex to happen from first laying eyes on each other can be less than a minute and I imagine such short time periods happen up and down the country daily.

With quick encounters I think lust is the primary factor and some are just more prone to giving into it.



Thank you for your replies. I am going to mull it over.



kraftiekortie
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16 Aug 2022, 1:21 pm

Basically----if you don't feel like sex, don't have sex.

Don't feel societal pressure to have sex. It's not something that's vital, really. Not vital for your actual survival.

It doesn't make one less of a person if one isn't having an active sex life. I had my prostate taken out, and have difficulty with the "act." But that doesn't make me "less of a man."

There's too much emphasis in this society placed upon sex. Too many people are feeling despair because of the lack of what is basically a pleasurable physical activity.



Carl Friedrich Gauss
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16 Aug 2022, 1:37 pm

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/a ... isexuality



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16 Aug 2022, 1:38 pm

Ain't nothing wrong with that......



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16 Aug 2022, 1:40 pm

I don't understand why people want to label everything.
If you feel attracted to someone for whatever reason (physical, mental, emotional), and it's consensual, go for it.

Humankind has managed to survive since the dawn of time without labelling their sexuality.


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16 Aug 2022, 1:46 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't understand why people want to label everything.
If you feel attracted to someone for whatever reason (physical, mental, emotional), and it's consensual, go for it.

Humankind has managed to survive since the dawn of time without labelling their sexuality.
.

It doesn't seem to be confined to sexuality - people want to put everything into neat little boxes, and when they don't fit, they don't stop and think...they just make smaller and smaller boxes. If it continues, there won't be communities of anything. Everyone with be in their own tiny box.



Carl Friedrich Gauss
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16 Aug 2022, 1:50 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't understand why people want to label everything.
If you feel attracted to someone for whatever reason (physical, mental, emotional), and it's consensual, go for it.

Humankind has managed to survive since the dawn of time without labelling their sexuality.



I used the label because I guess I don't want to be in the middle of the nowhere. And it is easy to explain it people. I do not exactly know why I did this. I guess I am undergoing a shock to have learned this. After nearly 28 years, I learned why I am different. I was like when I learned I have Asperger syndrome.



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16 Aug 2022, 1:53 pm

DanielW wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't understand why people want to label everything.
If you feel attracted to someone for whatever reason (physical, mental, emotional), and it's consensual, go for it.

Humankind has managed to survive since the dawn of time without labelling their sexuality.
.

It doesn't seem to be confined to sexuality - people want to put everything into neat little boxes, and when they don't fit, they don't stop and think...they just make smaller and smaller boxes. If it continues, there won't be communities of anything. Everyone with be in their own tiny box.



Yes, you are right. I don't know what to say.



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16 Aug 2022, 2:21 pm

Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't understand why people want to label everything.
If you feel attracted to someone for whatever reason (physical, mental, emotional), and it's consensual, go for it.

Humankind has managed to survive since the dawn of time without labelling their sexuality.



I used the label because I guess I don't want to be in the middle of the nowhere. And it is easy to explain it people. I do not exactly know why I did this. I guess I am undergoing a shock to have learned this. After nearly 28 years, I learned why I am different. I was like when I learned I have Asperger syndrome.


What is "different" about wanting to like someone before you sleep with them?
I'd say for a majority of the world's population that's normal.

Most people don't go around sleeping with people they don't like.
I hope not, anyway.


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Carl Friedrich Gauss
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16 Aug 2022, 10:43 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't understand why people want to label everything.
If you feel attracted to someone for whatever reason (physical, mental, emotional), and it's consensual, go for it.

Humankind has managed to survive since the dawn of time without labelling their sexuality.



I used the label because I guess I don't want to be in the middle of the nowhere. And it is easy to explain it people. I do not exactly know why I did this. I guess I am undergoing a shock to have learned this. After nearly 28 years, I learned why I am different. I was like when I learned I have Asperger syndrome.


What is "different" about wanting to like someone before you sleep with them?
I'd say for a majority of the world's population that's normal.

Most people don't go around sleeping with people they don't like.
I hope not, anyway.


Because most people (most are male) I met see no correlation between sex and love. As if they belong with two different realms. They slept with lots of women probably. I want to touch a woman who I feel. And this is where the problems lies. I can not love. Both Asperger and this make relationships like impossible. And this is "different". If I say "body parts of a women who I don't love do not attract me" most people probably will laugh at me and think that I am gay. And this is "different". I always hope for romanticism which I am not expected as a male.

Actually it doesn't matter any more. If I won't find a woman who I love, I will marry with a woman who I don't love. Maybe I won't.



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16 Aug 2022, 10:47 pm

It’s certainly not a problem with me.

Not as many men think like that as you think.

Sex and love are quite intertwined, as far as I’m concerned.

I would have stayed a virgin till marriage had I found my true love before age 17.