Asperger's and submissive in relationship

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In our household, I'm the more dominant one....to the point that I have to pick out the meals and whatnot. I do wish he would be more aggressive, only because we do have an age difference, and I was once in his shoes with an NT. I grew to hate the fact that my opinion never mattered.
I don't know how else to get him to push his own agenda a bit...so when he does open his mouth on the smallest thing, I try to accomodate it...I don't want him hitting 30 and just hating the life he is stuck in.

i think gwen has a point.
healthy relationships are (should be, at least) close to even-balanced.
from my own experience: my ex-girlfriend 'demanded' a lot of my time, to the extent that i didnt get work for uni done, couldnt meet any friends of mine, and didnt even have sufficient time to myself. back then, it was okay for me and i was happy. but after we broke up, i learned so much from this experience - having tons of unused energy per day; what can i do when i use it all for myself? how much can i work on myself, on what i want, what direction i want to grow etcetera...
i couldnt have a relationship like that anymore, simple as that. i saw how much i myself suffered under it, although i didnt notice at that time. i cant let that happen, by all means and for all love. to me, love also entails enough respect to be a full-fledged human for my significant other.

maybe the old relationship me wasnt that way, but over the last two years, i have grown ever more knowing of what exactly i want - my introspective nature honed this down to quite an edge... that edge wont carry relationships that are so lopsided regarding my personality.

yesplease, Its not so much a powerplay, as I genuinely worry that I am sapping some will from him, or that he is just being accomodating because he thinks I'll be upset with him. I don't want to get in his way at all, but I don't want to frustrate him by not reading him correctly either. Arrgh! Why don't people come with instruction manuals ? Bar codes and hand held scanners?
What really stinks is when neither of us have an opinion on something...we try to limit stall outs on minor decisions to 20 min or less....

Hhhhmmm... thing is, I'm submissive when it comes to things I don't care about, but when it comes to things I care about, I can be extremely dominant.

I guess I would like someone who could play dominant, but not someone who is actually a dominant. Maybe just someone protective, I don't know.

Yeah, I'm not a fan. Even when I have had the really buck-alpha'esque girls interested in me (who may remind you of one of the girls from Descent or Milah's character in the Resident Evil's), I just get that nasty feeling like if I'm not giving an even handshake and leveling with them something's just wrong. Especially when I'm just pulling the childlike side of them out that no one seems to see and they're melting down a bit, the dynamic just doesn't feel healthy for me - almost like its built on a gap in understanding.

I really don't know what's right for me anymore, being that I'm not so certain that I've come across it at all. Definitely know that being dom'd would just put me ill at ease. If it was strictly a lust relationship and kinda more of a triste (and if it was in a purely flirtatious way) - it could work, but as for anything long term and stable too many things would need to be reconciled and out of necessity that sort of dynamic would have to fade as well.

Even though I'm a male aspie virgin and im 6'7 I feel that when i lose my virginity to a girl i will be the submissive one and she will be the dominant one, even though we would still switch roles I just can't see myself being the dominant one sexually, I would want her to tell me what to do or do to me what she wants to sexually

Dominant one here. I always THOUGHT I would be submissive but I'm always the smarter of the two of us especially when it comes to money, in bed I know what I want and it's very hard for anyone else to move the right way to make me really like it, etc.

If anything I wouldn't even say I'm merely dominant, I pretty much am a DICTATOR. My will be done.

I'm very submissive in some ways but I can be dominate in other ways. I'm very shy at 1st around people I don't know well but after I warm up a while; I can be very talkative. I think I would do better with someone who is also very submissive. I can relate to submissive people much better than dominate ones. I feel dominate people can be pretty bossy & demanding & I mite would feel like I am getting treated like her servant/slave after a while. I mite also be afraid to express myself with a dominate partner. I think a girl who's on the same level with me or is dominate & submissive in ways I'm not; would be better because the relationship would not get one sided. If I had to chose thou between being with someone who's more submissive or more dominate than me; I would pick submissive. I think i could start taking on more responsibility & things if I was with a partner who needed me to or gave me a chance to & I would also encourage my partner to speak up as well. I think part of the rezone I'm very submissive is because when I was little my mom did everything for me & made decisions ect. She felt that I was incapable of understanding things & doing things & I'm very dependent now party because of that. My mom puts me down a lot & makes me feel guilty about being so dependent on her & my dad & I feel like I am nothing but a burden on her. The last thing I want is to be a burden on my partner.

I've always been the aggressor in starting relationships but once I'm in one, I never know what to do since I lack experience. Like my ex would ask, "when was the last time we did anything together?" I said, "I would but I don't know what activities couples do." Seriously, all my relationship knowledge at this point was based on movies and s**t. He got irritated when I asked him for suggestions because I guess the woman is supposed to plan stuff? He was only good with planning sexual activities, anything like dates he expected me to do. As you can probably tell, this relationship did not last long. Yeah, I never had a relationship last long enough to really gain any experience in maintaining interest and chemistry. :/

I feel balanced and I like other balanced people. Sometimes one can lead then the other, it keeps things fresh.