confidence
hartzofspace
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If thats the case, tell me WHY women feel perfectly comfortable flirting with guys they're not seriously interested at parties, clubs, bars, and sometimes in ordinary public places???
I won't profess to know why women do this, D1nk0. I have often wondered myself, why such women flirt, seemingly indiscriminately, with lots of men. The things you mention, above, is what makes me overly cautious of my interactions with men. It must just be some sort of ego stroking thing here, to these particular women, with no regards to possible outcomes.
Frankly, nothing is wrong with that. I wish I knew why people flirt when they don't mean it. It's probably just an NT thing that I will never understand.
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techstepgenr8tion
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They have a hard time it seems being attracted to guys who either reciprocate that too fast or angle in in such a way that isn't the hunter 'sweeping her off her feet'. Part of it has to do with gender role - as in, as guys, the norm is that we tend to just go after what we want when we want it and when a guy's too grounded in anything else it seems a bit strange or unnatural (and yes, is often interpreted as a sign that he's losing the race). When a guy does play....slightly..aloof its the next best thing as its a sign that he's being real, not pushing anything, and the problem with anything being pushed (outside the desparation bit) is that almost anyone knows that they can't be happy with someone who isn't like them or who'll blatantly overlook all kinds of signs that they shouldn't be together just on personal differences.
I don't know what to say about how to see it because I may have an uncanny ability to gage people. I think most people are effectively good people, everyone's been though their trials and tribulations which sometimes has hardened them up a bit. You'll still meet women though where things will come natural, where you'll be able to talk to them easily, and - being able to see intent from their end often times comes when they're very sincere with you but at the same time go as far to even push the conversation further, talk about the real nuts and bolts of life itself, compare values; while that isn't always a sign and I still err on the side of caution you can see it when things persist and a lot of times in the way they look at you - you'll see some longing in it.
They have a hard time it seems being attracted to guys who either reciprocate that too fast or angle in in such a way that isn't the hunter 'sweeping her off her feet'. Part of it has to do with gender role - as in, as guys, the norm is that we tend to just go after what we want when we want it and when a guy's too grounded in anything else it seems a bit strange or unnatural (and yes, is often interpreted as a sign that he's losing the race). When a guy does play....slightly..aloof its the next best thing as its a sign that he's being real, not pushing anything, and the problem with anything being pushed (outside the desparation bit) is that almost anyone knows that they can't be happy with someone who isn't like them or who'll blatantly overlook all kinds of signs that they shouldn't be together just on personal differences.
I don't know what to say about how to see it because I may have an uncanny ability to gage people. I think most people are effectively good people, everyone's been though their trials and tribulations which sometimes has hardened them up a bit. You'll still meet women though where things will come natural, where you'll be able to talk to them easily, and - being able to see intent from their end often times comes when they're very sincere with you but at the same time go as far to even push the conversation further, talk about the real nuts and bolts of life itself, compare values; while that isn't always a sign and I still err on the side of caution you can see it when things persist and a lot of times in the way they look at you - you'll see some longing in it.
I agree. Funny enough, what I actually like in a woman is: man on inside, woman on the outside
By that I mean a woman who acts and thinks more like a guy but still has a feminine appearance and style of dress
techstepgenr8tion
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By that I mean a woman who acts and thinks more like a guy but still has a feminine appearance and style of dress
I can agree in the sense that I like the combination of feminine but simultaneously analytical - has emotions, enjoys them, but keeps them as more of a side dish rather than the main course.
hartzofspace
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By that I mean a woman who acts and thinks more like a guy but still has a feminine appearance and style of dress
Well, if I were younger, perhaps I would have attracted you, since that describes me perfectly.
_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner
By that I mean a woman who acts and thinks more like a guy but still has a feminine appearance and style of dress
Well, if I were younger, perhaps I would have attracted you, since that describes me perfectly.
ORLY? What has changed? Your outside or your inside? Do you dress tomboyish lately for some reason.....hell,maybe you still would attract me, ya never know
hartzofspace
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By that I mean a woman who acts and thinks more like a guy but still has a feminine appearance and style of dress
Well, if I were younger, perhaps I would have attracted you, since that describes me perfectly.
ORLY? What has changed? Your outside or your inside? Do you dress tomboyish lately for some reason.....hell,maybe you still would attract me, ya never know
Well, let's see. My outside hasn't changed all that much, since I am told that I look 20 years younger than my actual age. I rarely dress tomboyish - I take it you mean wearing clothing intended for boys? I do believe in being direct, and to the point, however.
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Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner
hartzofspace
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This is exactly why I feel awkward approaching women in real life. It's not totally about the ego. Mostly I just don't want to be a creep, I don't want to make someone I'm attracted to feel uncomfortable. >.<
Yeah, and it's considered shameful to even be looking for a girlfriend. You're under the presumption of being a rapist or something. I must be a "creep" because I'm attracted to girls. And what's funny is that a lot of NT guys would somehow think that I'm "queer" just because I don't have a girlfriend. Notice the similarity between those two terms? It's like you're damned either way... because unless you're already in a relationship, then you're seen as scum from every point of view.
techstepgenr8tion
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Unfortunately all that's real inherent and deliberate just on how human beings are built (natural selection, survival of the fittest, etc.). I also notice that having earnest conversations about this stuff doesn't help me either, almost like I'm supposed to be in love with whatever I am right off the start and not to be that self-centered is some sort of sign that I'm weird; all that's really teaching me to just be ambivalent and do whatever the heck I want because, unless you're just following the program (as an NT among NT's or an Aspie among Aspies) you catch friction for making your own way and your only free of it when you can honestly say to yourself "My values are what they are, I really don't give a f--- what anyone thinks because this is what I believe, this is what makes the most sense to me, and I'm not going to trade in the best of myself just to meet some gradient of mediocrity".
