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In Defense of Friendship (and Those Who Want It)

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JohnHopkins
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10 Sep 2008, 5:49 pm

pbcoll wrote:
Personally, I think the parent-child bond, when strong, is much deeper and stronger than that within a couple. in fact, this is an increasingly important reason for me to look for someone: I want to have kids, and my chances of adopting as a single male are pretty slim, at best.


You have a point there. The point is, it's a more intense love than friendship.

Have you tried doing a big brother type program?



sgrannel
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11 Sep 2008, 9:33 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
sgrannel wrote:
The fact is that sexuality charges a man's interaction with women in a way that can make friendship difficult if he is not already in a secure relationship with another woman.

Not entirely true. As I said in a previous post, I've had more female friends than male friends. In addition, several of the women I've been romantically attracted to are in that list, and I've never had a real grilfriend (just one unofficial relationship with someone I did theater with that ended when the show ended)...


Of course, I was speaking from my own experience. Your experience may differ. A difficulty of reading intent can get one in trouble in any case. I am a lot more comfortable around women whose category is decided immediately, especially older women. For example, a married woman is placed in the "friends" column immediately, and I can work with that. It's ambiguity that causes discomfort for me.


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pbcoll
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12 Sep 2008, 10:06 am

JohnHopkins wrote:
pbcoll wrote:
Personally, I think the parent-child bond, when strong, is much deeper and stronger than that within a couple. in fact, this is an increasingly important reason for me to look for someone: I want to have kids, and my chances of adopting as a single male are pretty slim, at best.


You have a point there. The point is, it's a more intense love than friendship.

Have you tried doing a big brother type program?


I agree, it's more intense than friendship. I've done some work with younger people, not exactly like a big brother program.


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El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)

I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).