My boyfriend upset me & i dont no what to do...

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I didn't mean it was a bad thing to do, it just seems very NT to me. It's one of those things I've noticed lots my NT girl friends who are in relationships do that I've never quite understood.

I'll be entirely honest with you hun, it is absolutely normal for a guy to be interested in porn. You have to remember psychology and what men and women view as "love". Women typically view love as the time a guy spends with a girl (hanging out) and basically the affection he shows her. Guys view love in the sense of sex, or in action of sexual foreplay. It is VERY easy for us to think with a certain appendage and not to think with the brain. This is more of the logical argument.

From a religious standpoint, looking at porn is a sin/immoral. One might ask "Why? Pornography is such a minor thing to a guy, and after all, it is natural?" Very true, but once a guy starts looking at pornography, unless he has great self control, he'll start obsessing about it and wants more. It becomes an addiction, and even in small doses, it controls his behavior. Pornography also makes women look cheap and does not paint them in a positive light, more in the light of objects of desire and lust. Here is what it says Biblically:

1st Corinthians 6:1-2

"Everything is permissible by me” – but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible by me” – but I will not be mastered by anything."

“When tempted, no one should say “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

Death is in reference not as the "physical death", but as the spiritual death of a person. When a guy gets so swept up in porn that he doesn't care about anyone else and chooses to act according to what is contrary to his nature, this can be considered the "death" of who he was before hand.

I would be a huge hypocrite if I said that never I looked at porn before, I used to a lot, and I'm not proud of it. But I know exactly what you mean by your bf who keeps looking at porn, he is being swept away by his own lust, which is what happened to me before I decided to quit and give it all up, which I have done.

There is also the possibility that he is starved for affection/romance, and that he fufills this need through looking at porn. I don't know if you guys have, let's put tactfully, done things, however if you haven't he is probably more horny than a triceratops. I'm not advocating fooling around, I'm trying to think of an explanation. Guys who have been single a long time look at porn because that need is not being fufilled, their Love and Belonginess need is not being met on the Maslow's Hierachy of Human Needs.

Should you be mad? Yes and no? Yes, because he is being controlled by something that shouldn't be controlling him. After all, he isn't single, he's got a gf, so you think he'd be good to go. However you shouldn't be mad at him in a sense because it is natual for both males and females to lust, guys just work it out differently. Let me put it this way, you girls may take out your lustful emotions by fantasizing about celebrities or boy bands and sticking posters of celebrities in your room. We guys do it through looking at porn, which is immoral, but often unavoidable, unless through religious help (I asked God/Jesus to help me quit doing this and He really has come through for me) or strong discipline. This is my two cents.

Really? That makes things a bit different.

I think it's *might* be out of respect for you. To me that is saying that he values you as a person and not as a sexual obje, that is to say, he love you for you and not for your body. I think you trying to be more sexual might, to him, be like you inadvertantly objectifying yourself, detracting from the qualities about you that he likes. It sounds like he has fallen for you in a big way, believe it or not.

when people buy stuff for you, and you let them. . it is saying what ever they did that they thought they had to buy stuff for you is OK, now.

Merle

I didn't know it was bad to let people buy you things. It has always made me feel uncomfortable though. Sometimes is fine but if a guy was always buying me things, it's too much. It makes me feel like I am taking advantage of them.


My last bf was that way and so is my current bf but I often buy myself stuff I want. Not ask him to do it.

lulz

tell him to get firefox 3. it automatically deletes ur history XD

and if u want to cure his porn addiction, show him some shock videos!

like:
[edited for content by sinsboldly]
trust me, he will fear the internet after watching those.

it's not 'bad' it is just a transaction that implies what someone did was upsetting, so someone 'buys' your acceptance. The image of Kobe Bryant having a fling with a concierge in the hotel and when it was made known, Mrs Bryant got a huge ring to 'make it up to her.'

If you two are not sexually active, that would explain alot. He probably gets very horny and guys NEED to relieve that urge.

Remember, lust is not love.

Bottom line is you need to do whats right for you,
you either let it go accept it is what it is
or you keep letting it bother you
or you say good bye

if someone makes a promise and breaks it then i guess that makes them a liar