disGrace under Pressure

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I am single and this guy that is high profile, successful, rich and only two years older really wants me, sigh, I am not interested.
I wanna an aspie bf. I have never had an aspie bf and thats all I want. Some one similar to me and sigh, there is none avialable. I dont know any aspies and it leaves me surrounded by NT men that i am not feeling a strong connection to.

do you want us to throw you a pity party?

dating is not about which sex it is more difficult for but is about two people uniting in solidarity and sharing their love.

while you continue to have an attitude of competition and animosity to women, you will not fare so well with dateing.

dateing is hard for everyone, everyone gets hurt and rejected sometimes, its not the fault of anyone but just life.

if you want to be single thats fine, just tell people that if they comment -often people are just making conversation when they ask.

Too true. Screw the rest of them. If I can't be in a relationship with the one person I love, then I refuse to be in a relationship with anyone else. F*** that. I'm happier single.

I have now chosen to be single indefinitely unless I find someone else I can love like that and have that connection with. And everyone's just going to have to deal with it.

The mating game sucks. I refuse to go along with it, and the guys playing the mating game that are constantly trying to pick me up are just going to have to deal with the fact that I am not interested.

Remember, Haliphron, YOU should be the one to determine your life and not societal pressure. If you cave to societal pressure, and that is your sole reason for joining the mating game, then that shows a weak character.

The mating game SUCKS, it IS unfair, it IS no fun at all, and it is USELESS, BORING, PAIN INDUCING, and negative in almost every way (in my opinion). You have to go your own way, and determine things how you want to determine them. Get to know a woman personally first before you try to date her. If she shoves you off because she's playing the "dating game" and has allocated you into the "friend" category, then screw her.

The problem with the dating game is it is based on appearance alone and very little else. You can't really get to know a person in the hour or two that generally elapses (at the most) before the man asks the woman out on a date.

So what if it's harder to find a partner if you don't play the dating game? I'd rather wait out my whole life for the potential of finding a man I can love than dating an attractive looking Ken doll.

Look at it like this, you have attracted a guy, he likes you,
not bad. You dont like him so end of story. But he likes you
and theres probably more out there like him that you like also

You want 'society' to stop putting pressure on men to get girlfriends, so you can get a girlfriend?

Most of society is made up of people wanting exactly the same thing- that's why there's 'pressure' there in the first place.

A lot of people are single these days. If you want to be happy and single, be that. If you want a partner, then find ways (internet, books etc.) to meet someone.

Its really not realistic for me personally to be TOTALLY free from societies influence. Unless I became a hermit living in the woods with no TV or internet access, only books.

*smile* Now that is a mindset I can relate to.


M.

I know you're joking, but that might not be a bad idea.

You can't avoid all of society, but it is possible to evade the parts of it that are making you depressed, at least to some degree.

For example, hanging around a forum called 'love and dating' will invariably expose you to 'pressures' of people trying to find partners, and maybe lead to the assumption that all of society is trying to pressure all men to have relationships. Likewise, watching a lot of sit-coms (not saying that you do) or obsessing over being single and trawling the internet to find out why will only exagerate the issue.

I know it's easier said than done, and may sound a bit counter-inuitive, but I think your best bet is to avoid thinking about stuff like this as much as possible.

Living in the woods is optional ...

Last edited by Lene on 07 Dec 2008, 2:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.

^ I rarely come to this forum anymore. Its been a while but I am NOT going to move out into the woods because thats not only unrealistic but I LIVE cities-especially in the winter. I think that complaining is very healthy, it helps a person cope with unpleasant things in ones life that are beyond ones control. I dont mind other people complaining and I dont see what the big f_cking deal is. But really and truly, WHAT is the social purpose of putting pressure on men to find a partner and chastizing those who are single as "losers"?

Ah, sorry, I thought you were actually looking for advice. I figured if you were just looking to blow off steam, you would have chosen to write in the haven. Nevermind.

The 'living in the woods' comment was a joke, I'm not seriously suggesting you should move out.

edit: ah, reread my post. I can see where the confusion came from. I meant that avoiding the internet and tv was a good idea, not actually becoming a hermit. My bad.



Evolution, I guess. procreation and continuation of the species, yadiyadiya.

The reason I suggested you avoid the topic is because outside tv and the internet, I haven't come across all that much bias against single people. I've never heard a single person actually being called a 'loser' (except by themselves). It might be different where you live though, so I apologise if I misinterpreted what you wrote.

Well, that is the reason why men WANT women in the first place and is the source of internal pressure but it doesnt sufficiently explain the external pressure from The GROUP to get a girlfriend and why MEN who are singal are stigmatized! The internal pressure would be MUCH easier to cope with if there werent such a social stigma. WHY should single men be made to feel any more insecure than they already are?! !