SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL FLIRTING by GroovyDruid

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Seems like that's advice for someone who's just looking for a sexual encounter. I mean if you master the signals of the flirtation dance, that's all well and good, but what about everything after that?

This is great for ecountering a woman or a man, to get them interested in you and making that first contact.
As far as where to go after this, you get to the sitting down part, and if she needs a ride home, or is in walking distance and the weather is fine, ask to walk her home, say you had a wonderful evening and the more so because you met her, ask if she would like to go to a movie or something, make a date and a time. Continue to the kiss on the porch if it's available. Or commenting on the beauty of her eyes will do as well.
The kiss on the balcony is a great idea, but if your looking for something longer lasting, take this step very carefully, romance is great, but if you want a lasting relationship the first kiss would be better after the first proper date. Just my own experience and view point as an NT.

GrooveyDruid, your great.

I am an Aspie woman, and I have had several relationships and many "just for fun" sexual encounters in the past. Two things that strike me:

1) Megan's efforts seem aimed at getting laid. Nothing wrong with that, but maybe following her example would not be ideal for someone not looking to get laid (right away ).

2) I never did any of that game-playing stuff. No hip rolling, no waiting to make him make a move first, definitely no sticking out the chest. I first watched a guy I was interested in to see if he looked at me from time to time. If he did, I went over and talked to him. I talked about stuff I was interested in, and asked him questions to find out what he was like (someone can look fantastic, but within 30 seconds of his opening his mouth, you know whether he's worth spending any more time on). At some point, if I wanted him to come home with me, I asked him if he wanted to do that.

Taking chances at the right times is important, too. I have gotten many slow dances from attractive girls in the past just by going the extra step and taking gambles.

Wow! By the sound of that, it must help!

I think personally that men should heed Miss Frizzle's advice: "Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!" and do what is shown, but they shouldn't have to require the woman to do everything listed in order to give them a kiss, such as the hip roll. I think they just need to show interest. A kiss shows the woman spontenaity, which they apparently love. Giving them that sense of adventure will have them begging for more, and it doesn't have to be anything sexual.

On a related note: At which point is it appropriate (privately) to touch a woman's "buns", whether playfully or otherwise?

Is she Lily Tomlin's character on "The Magic School Bus?"

I agree with #1.. and always had a hard time finding the LT relationship thing..
#2 was more my style, direct, however, as I have mentioned before that usually sends the NT guys running screaming out the door.
(metaphoricaly of course)

the trouble here is, in the realm of body language, there is no other kind of availabilty but sexual availability. You can't say with your body, "I'm looking for an initially platonic encouter that might lead to a relationship and sex down the road." That's the perview of the conscious mind. You can't tell such things from other's body language, either.

Basically, the body language you give and receive says either, "I'm open for business" or "I'm shut." My goal with the article was to demonstrate to aspies how to send open signals and to read them so that men or women will talk to them and find them interesting in a more than "just friends" way. These are broad, scientific principles. They aren't meant to form a personality, to make your choices for you, or to suggest any type of sexual lifestyle.

Be careful with this one. Touching a woman's but*, particularly in public, is body language for, "I own this here," and can explode in your face.

As to privately, there's no way to tell. Tis better on this one to err on the side of caution. No woman says, "I liked him, but he didn't grab my as* enough." No. Rather, when you're alone and the making out is hot and heavy, that's when you venture to grab on. You'll be able to read the reaction in her body, whether she likes it or not, and react accordingly. If she pushes into you, she's liking it. If she pulls away, hands off!

Personally, I cannot stand this... in public. In private in the bedroom is another story. Can't even stand it as a show of affection or whatever it is "supposed" to mean.
I have always had a really hard time with PDA (Public displays of affection)

One of the other points that I wanted to bring up is that my lack of eye contact problems I think have been misconstrued as flirting by NT's. Or misconstrued as something else (I have no Idea what)

Just FORCE yourself to make eye contact. Even if you have to completely physce yourself out. That's what I did. I more or less won a really attractive girl over simply by setting my eyes with hers and not looking away. We were good friends from then on. It was PAINFUL, yes, but worth it in the end.

Having read this over more thoroughly, I have some further questions.

Question the First:

What is a good time period to wait? Ten minutes, 45 minutes, or something else?

Question the Second:



There's this one girl I know at school that touched me on the chest once, not all that long ago - and she had to reach a little to do it too. I have her cell number. Looks like I know who I'm calling this week.

Never mind, that wasn't a question...

Question the Third:



It is a challenge to avoid tapping someone, especially when the distance between is <18 inches. What are some good measures for a guy to exhibit as flirtation, in addition to what is listed here?

Question the Fourth:



How close should I get at this point? As close as possible without touching, or something a tad larger?

Question the Fifth:



By kiss, do you mean French kiss, long kiss on the lips, a quick kiss on the lips, or a kiss somewhere else such as the cheek or neck? Should I have both arms around her waist in the process?

Question the Sixth:



What would you consider "Intimate small talk"?

Last edited by ELLCIM on 08 Jan 2006, 10:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, it is!

If I tried that, it would be noticably terrified eye contact. Great article, but I'm not after normal people.