A True Nice Person

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^^^ This right here. Thank You Boo. By the time you're done doing all of that one is presenting someone whom is not the real "you." I say in employment, let's cut out the nonsense, be ourselves while being respectful to others, and get to work. Yes, there will be things we don't like. I say, we should be allowed to complain about it for a few but in the end the complaining has to stop, we may need to bust our asses to knock it out and get it done.

On the dating profiles, just answer the questions as truthfully as one can with respect of course for others and if 99.5% of the gender you're seeking passes you by then so be it. It's the 0.5% that counts.

I would like to point out everyone who reads this and I'm not accusing DW of doing this because I do not know her nor her intent. DW may be telling the truth.

This is a tactic that NTs (those in USA) use when they want to bow out of the conversation. There are NTs who will pretend x is going to bow out or say they don't have time to continue to bow out. There are cases in which this is true but sometimes this is a bald face lie. When I ask people thorough questions that question the beliefs they will bow out.

This is because the beliefs that people grew up with help shape their identity and who they are as a person. You question the beliefs and they will quickly run. This is because if you question the belief system you destroy part of who they are. People are not logical but psycho-logical meaning that since the belief system helps to shape their identity they have a lot of emotional investment in their beliefs. They will use logic to defend their beliefs but will not pursue truth for truth's sake. Truth is used as a means to an end and not as the end. This is why Socrates was made to drink Hemlock.

Jonathan Haidt, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Haidt, did extensive research on this.

These are my observations about America though. Our culture is a very conformist culture and not a care-free culture that is promoted. Conformity, compromise, and capitulation are keys to one's success. What is freedom I ask? People say we're free and we're the freest nation on the face of the Earth. To answer this question one has to look at the historical context of America what Americans mean by freedom.

What they mean is that we're free from Government tyranny. We're free from government interference and an arbitrary central power unless we violate someone else's inalienable rights.

Look at the tenth amendment to our constitution.



We are free in the political sense and have freedom in the founding father's context. Here is the problem. Anything else not in the governmental realm is left with the people meaning the social veneer. One's liberty both positive and negative are very limited within the social arena. http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/liber ... -negative/

The social arena is inundated with extensive, unstated standards that exist that

a. are absolute.
b. one has no say or voting power in the formation of them.
c. one is not allowed to question or challenge them because it would be socially inappropriate to do so.
d. Because of the world structure and other governmental rules of other societies that make it difficult to immigrate to any of them, it is very difficult to leave one's social veneer. It becomes a Hotel California situation in which one can check out but one can never truthfully leave.

IMHO, our negative liberties and positive liberties are severely restricted not by the government but by the social veneer or "We the People."

What DW is saying is that we have no choice but to contort and conform to American NT dictates without question. It's conform or get out but there is no "out."

I really do have a work deadline so I will keep this short.

You are over thinking in a lot of this post. How I see it is this: when you ask someone a question that requires a lengthy answer, they have to make a simple choice as to whether or not they wish to invest the time at that moment. In a busy world, you are going to find that more often than not, people simple cannot logically prioritize that time investment. As much as I like you, I don't actually know you, and it doesn't really benefit my life to give you hours of my time answering philosophical questions, not to mention it drives my kids nuts when I post here instead of giving them my undivided attention or doing any of the million things on the to-do list, and so on. I genuinely like posting here and digging into many of the questions that come up, but at some point I do, as a simple pragmatic matter, have to drawn a line and remember that doing so can't have a high priority in my life.

In real life, people understand that. You aren't usually avoiding a question because it makes you uncomfortable, but because you don't see the value in prioritizing the time it takes for that discussion. The person asking should respect the value of your time enough to respect that choice, and vice-a-versa. Pushing the issue is seen as lacking respect for another person's time, which is theirs to choose freely to give or not give. Why do you have to read anything more complicated into it? That is usually all there is to it: the value of time.

As to what I am saying about conforming or not conforming, I don't agree with your summary. If you want certain results, you conform to the extent necessary to get those results, sure. That is the way the game is played. If you accept that failure to conform means you may not get those results, then you don't have to. You definitely have a choice, but in life all choices have consequences, for better or for worse. I will never judge your choices as long as you are happy with them, no matter what those choices look like. Some people will judge, but that is their own issue. My problem on this board is that often people want it both ways: do things exactly the way they see fit, but still get everything they want from the world around them. That is not how it works.

My problem on this board is that often people want it both ways: do things exactly the way they see fit, but still get everything they want from the world around them. That is not how it works.

Since you say I'm overthinking, then I will simplify. What you're saying right here is that I as a store owner pay protection money or Freddy the Fish will come break my knuckles. You're right I do have a choice. Some choice!

Um, well, I can see why you would feel that way ... but you could also decide to have the store in a different neighborhood.

Not every community, not every job, not every potential date have the same expectations. Try to situate yourself with those that most closely align to who you are already. You may need help with that, but that is basically what I work on with my son. I've taught him how to adapt to the world when necessary, but obviously he can't do that 24/7 (and he certainly doesn't want to), so now its about choosing situations where HE is most comfortable and can be mostly himself.

Here is another thing DW. Take a look at Ronald Reagan and Tipper O'Neal. They were polar opposites in political outlook. At the end of the day they were able to break open the Scotch and still remain good friends. Even if we disagree on something things, at the end of the day if we could sit at the same table and share a pizza then everything is good in the world in my opinion. Do you agree with this?