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90% of Aspies can't get a date?

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Lonermutant
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02 Jan 2010, 7:46 am

Salonfilosoof wrote:
anahita wrote:
I my self as a girl with Asperger have never been in a relationship but when I look around I see my friends, they are now have children ! and me…! I don’t even know how a relationship starts. I seem selfish(I just seem), cold, rigid , reserved and these reasons are enough for them never like, want me, but I am not the sort of aspies who don’t want or don’t care having a marriage , Bf/GF or not. I feel an emptiness and grief inside me. especially when I watch other adults, my friends. But my differences is not limited only to have a partner so I must accept it like other my limitations that Asperger have created for me. I know nothing will change in this especial case until I die!


Try looking for a suitable partner in a local Asperger's community. There are far more male Aspies than female Aspies out there, most men with Asperger's are single and they are far more likely to understand your emotions and thoughts.


Stay single or find yourself a nt guy. Most men with AS have no education beyond junior high, are obese, sex-fixated and only interested in a free hooker.



bdhkhsfgk
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02 Jan 2010, 7:47 am

I think most nt's just crave to much from aspies, that's why I think aspies have a hard time getting a date, aspies like to take it easy, like not take a vacation to another country with his/her BF/GF, I'm an aspie, and I understand that being with each other is enough, it's just so much more relaxing when you date an aspie 8)



Snazzlestick
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02 Jan 2010, 7:50 am

I'm aspiesexual 8)


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Asp-Z
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02 Jan 2010, 7:50 am

I've had two girlfriends, one NT and one Aspie, and I'm 15.

I'd say I've done quite well :P



dddhgg
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02 Jan 2010, 8:07 am

Lonermutant wrote:
Stay single or find yourself a nt guy. Most men with AS have no education beyond junior high, are obese, sex-fixated and only interested in a free hooker.


Yes, Lonermutant, we all know that you have no education beyond junior high, are obese, sex-fixated and only interested in a free hooker. :D But please don't project this on "most AS men".


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Snazzlestick
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02 Jan 2010, 8:14 am

Lonermutant wrote:
Most men with AS have no education beyond junior high, are obese, sex-fixated and only interested in a free hooker.


I respectfully disagree :)


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mjs82
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02 Jan 2010, 8:17 am

I've had two girlfriends and only a handful of other dates - plus a soul mate.

To be honest, I haven't tried in quite sometime. I think it takes alot for people to like me and at my age, it's hard to find people willing to commit the time just to even become good friends. I struggle to tell when women are actually flirting with me or not. And upon meeting them, it's hard not to imagine what life would be like with them - and whilst i'm busy doing that, they've already caught their bus or train.



Salonfilosoof
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02 Jan 2010, 9:21 am

Lonermutant wrote:
Stay single or find yourself a nt guy. Most men with AS have no education beyond junior high, are obese, sex-fixated and only interested in a free hooker.


Speak for yourself, please. I've encountered many men with Asperger's (including myself) who don't fit that description at all. In fact, I don't think I've met any in real life who actually do fit your description. Unless you can come up with some very credible figures, stop telling that sort of nonsense.

Just because the concept of love is alien to you, that doesn't mean it is alien to all Aspie men. The love between an Aspie man and a woman may be different than the love within an NT couple but that love can nevertheless be just as intense.....



Salonfilosoof
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02 Jan 2010, 9:28 am

mjs82 wrote:
I struggle to tell when women are actually flirting with me or not. And upon meeting them, it's hard not to imagine what life would be like with them - and whilst i'm busy doing that, they've already caught their bus or train.


I know the feeling. Even when my friends point out a woman to me who's seeking my attention, I fail to come up with a witty statement to go up to her and sometimes you have only but a split second to decide what you're actually saying.... because once you nearly bump into her unexpectedly you have no other chance to make a first impression and ruining pretty much destroys your chances.... It happened to me yesterday night and I'm still quite shocked by the way I ruined what seemed to be a perfectly reasonable way to meet a lovely young lady.... I understand the theory pretty decently, but when trying to apply it I feel like a kindergartener....

Why can't women be just a little more logical and a little less emotional?!?



mjs82
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02 Jan 2010, 9:45 am

Salonfilosoof wrote:
mjs82 wrote:
I struggle to tell when women are actually flirting with me or not. And upon meeting them, it's hard not to imagine what life would be like with them - and whilst i'm busy doing that, they've already caught their bus or train.


I know the feeling. Even when my friends point out a woman to me who's seeking my attention, I fail to come up with a witty statement to go up to her and sometimes you have only but a split second to decide what you're actually saying.... because once you nearly bump into her unexpectedly you have no other chance to make a first impression and ruining pretty much destroys your chances.... It happened to me yesterday night and I'm still quite shocked by the way I ruined what seemed to be a perfectly reasonable way to meet a lovely young lady.... I understand the theory pretty decently, but when trying to apply it I feel like a kindergartener....

Why can't women be just a little more logical and a little less emotional?!?


I have thought about getting some business cards made up saying "hi i know you don't know me, but you look interesting and i'm curious to know more about you'

except there's a downside... as soon as the woman thinks about how many other women you've given the cards to, you come off looking like a sick pervert.



Salonfilosoof
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02 Jan 2010, 9:58 am

mjs82 wrote:
I have thought about getting some business cards made up saying "hi i know you don't know me, but you look interesting and i'm curious to know more about you'

except there's a downside... as soon as the woman thinks about how many other women you've given the cards to, you come off looking like a sick pervert.


I tried something like that when I was 12. I put a small note signed with my initials just saying "hi" in her bench a few times. It didn't have the desired effect back then at all :?



mjs82
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02 Jan 2010, 10:06 am

Salonfilosoof wrote:
mjs82 wrote:
I have thought about getting some business cards made up saying "hi i know you don't know me, but you look interesting and i'm curious to know more about you'

except there's a downside... as soon as the woman thinks about how many other women you've given the cards to, you come off looking like a sick pervert.


I tried something like that when I was 12. I put a small note signed with my initials just saying "hi" in her bench a few times. It didn't have the desired effect back then at all :?


I know I have to grab the opportunity rather than drift into fantasy. There's a few girls who I still have a very loose contact with who I have thought about saying something like "Oh hi, remember four years ago when you said that you wanted hungry and wanted meat but you were vegetarian and I suggested burger rings and you walked away - well I realised a few months later that you were flirting with me. Are you still hungry?"

But I don't.

True story.



Salonfilosoof
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02 Jan 2010, 11:05 am

mjs82 wrote:
I know I have to grab the opportunity rather than drift into fantasy. There's a few girls who I still have a very loose contact with who I have thought about saying something like "Oh hi, remember four years ago when you said that you wanted hungry and wanted meat but you were vegetarian and I suggested burger rings and you walked away - well I realised a few months later that you were flirting with me. Are you still hungry?"

But I don't.

True story.


Oh my God.....

Sometimes it really hurts when you think of all the missed oportunities we half of a time didn't even notice afterwards....



b9
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02 Jan 2010, 11:12 am

i can get dates.
i like dates. in australia, we have 2 types of dates. the iranian dates and the californian dates.
the californian dates are much plumper and juicier than iranian dates, but the iranian dates are much more tasty. i like the iranian dates better but i will not eat them because i am not sure if the people who harvested them washed their hands before doing so.



mjs82
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02 Jan 2010, 11:15 am

Salonfilosoof wrote:
mjs82 wrote:
I know I have to grab the opportunity rather than drift into fantasy. There's a few girls who I still have a very loose contact with who I have thought about saying something like "Oh hi, remember four years ago when you said that you wanted hungry and wanted meat but you were vegetarian and I suggested burger rings and you walked away - well I realised a few months later that you were flirting with me. Are you still hungry?"

But I don't.

True story.


Oh my God.....

Sometimes it really hurts when you think of all the missed oportunities we half of a time didn't even notice afterwards....


I tend to take things a bit literally at times - I imagine I'm not alone in that. So understanding the nuances of flirting and subtext is hard. I tend to get it afterwards - but that's after I've analysed it to death. That's why I've generally started relationships with people I already knew. Most of the heavy lifting was done. The problem is I just don't know that many people any more so I can't fall back on that now.



Salonfilosoof
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02 Jan 2010, 11:28 am

mjs82 wrote:
I tend to take things a bit literally at times - I imagine I'm not alone in that. So understanding the nuances of flirting and subtext is hard. I tend to get it afterwards - but that's after I've analysed it to death. That's why I've generally started relationships with people I already knew. Most of the heavy lifting was done. The problem is I just don't know that many people any more so I can't fall back on that now.


I get your problem. I used to use social networks like Facebook and Instant Messaging programs like ICQ and MSN to meet women. The lack of non-verbal communication made it much easier to get women to like me which made a first date pretty hard to fail whenever I got to know someone well enough to arrange one.

Other than that, I wouldn't know what to do. I tried and failed at picking them up at bars... and I don't know any single straight women among the people I usually hang out with.