22 Jun 2020, 5:46 am
Pepe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Nor males over 35.
I agree.
It is my personal belief that the age difference of 10 years and under is a good match.
But there are exceptions to this rule.
I'd actually say a minimum of 8 years up to maybe 15 years more.
22 Jun 2020, 5:46 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Chain wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Hi, mate.
I like your avatar, btw.
I like your avatar, btw.
Thanks Pepe
I find that I relate better with animals than people... If I had to choose an animal that I relate well with... it is a bear.A bear can relate with you well as well, as his dinner.
I wonder what our babies would look like?
Chain and me,
Not you and me. Brrrr
Well, maybe if I have a paper bag handy.
It has been a long time, after all.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,669
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
22 Jun 2020, 5:50 am
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Chain wrote:
Hi LunaticCentruroides
I would imagine you are the "mix" like me (ASD + ADD/ADHD). We are the "drones" of the human race (according to my theory). Unlike many aspies, we are HIGHLY interactive with people.
I have had the same experience with women. Fortunately for me being a guy, most women are subtle... so I can generally ignore it until it all blows up (maybe not THAT fortunately). Don't get me started on the women who think I am way too into them! Evidently... "I flirt"... news to me.
It is truly a curse though because I want platonic female friends! I feel uncomfortable around most men. I remember hearing some guy complaining about being in the "friend zone" with women. I said... "that would be so awesome!". He gave me that uncomfortable look that means I said something wrong. I recently had another friendship with a woman fall apart (I thought she wanted to be friends but she reacted coldly when I told her I would never cheat on my wife)
I truly understand how you feel. My only advice would be to set up front boundaries and communicate clearly what you want (although NT people tell so many (white?) lies, they may not believe you). You may be able to find asexual men who want nothing to do with sex (although I had one woman friend who was asexual end up wanting to be sexual with me). I have one good lesbian friend
It is deeply unfulfilling to invest heart and trust in a person only to find out they have an agenda
I would imagine you are the "mix" like me (ASD + ADD/ADHD). We are the "drones" of the human race (according to my theory). Unlike many aspies, we are HIGHLY interactive with people.
I have had the same experience with women. Fortunately for me being a guy, most women are subtle... so I can generally ignore it until it all blows up (maybe not THAT fortunately). Don't get me started on the women who think I am way too into them! Evidently... "I flirt"... news to me.
It is truly a curse though because I want platonic female friends! I feel uncomfortable around most men. I remember hearing some guy complaining about being in the "friend zone" with women. I said... "that would be so awesome!". He gave me that uncomfortable look that means I said something wrong. I recently had another friendship with a woman fall apart (I thought she wanted to be friends but she reacted coldly when I told her I would never cheat on my wife)
I truly understand how you feel. My only advice would be to set up front boundaries and communicate clearly what you want (although NT people tell so many (white?) lies, they may not believe you). You may be able to find asexual men who want nothing to do with sex (although I had one woman friend who was asexual end up wanting to be sexual with me). I have one good lesbian friend
It is deeply unfulfilling to invest heart and trust in a person only to find out they have an agenda
Hahaha the "drones"
I love your post.
Very interesting to read such a thing from another person that happens to be a man..
And yes, I'm probably one of the highly interactive ones meanwhile(if comfortable) like you and maybe a bit flirty/charming? even if not intentionally..
I just feel like once you learned how to talk to people, it's comes out automatically and it starts to make fun, even if there are no specific emotions in the game.. And that's what NT's probably assume at that point 
The opposite gender reacting cold if they find out we have no deeper interests, is very hurtful and I know this very good as well. Even if they just do it to protect their own feelings, if it's reduced on sex I feel like they just had sh***y intentions.
"although NT people tell so many (white?) lies, they may not believe you" - TRUE
Ok, but two things to keep in mind:
- A male friend wanting more than friendship doesn't necessarily mean that he just wants you for sex - he may be really interested in you for you. Are you sure that it's always the case (only for sex)?
- A male friend may not necessarily had any romantic intentions at the beginning, and later he simply fell in love with you, this scenario is less likely but possible too.
22 Jun 2020, 5:56 am
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Pepe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Nor males over 35.
I agree.
It is my personal belief that the age difference of 10 years and under is a good match.
But there are exceptions to this rule.
I'd actually say a minimum of 8 years up to maybe 15 years more.
Nice to see you back, my dear.
I thought we may have frightened you off.
22 Jun 2020, 6:04 am
22 Jun 2020, 6:06 am
Pepe wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Pepe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Nor males over 35.
I agree.
It is my personal belief that the age difference of 10 years and under is a good match.
But there are exceptions to this rule.
I'd actually say a minimum of 8 years up to maybe 15 years more.
Nice to see you back, my dear.
I thought we may have frightened you off.
You're very charming my friend. Kinda like it
But I'm quite busy. Right now I'm hanging out in Paris at the airport waiting for the next flight lol
Teach51
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Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,808
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.
22 Jun 2020, 6:19 am
22 Jun 2020, 6:20 am
22 Jun 2020, 6:21 am
I'm a bit overwhelmed with all the replies here, so I won't answer to everything that seems interesting to me. But thanks anyway for every single input.
And to all the people that think they're too old: No. I know plenty of people in that age(+35) that are single and enjoying their life. Most of them don't have that "normal" life (married, childern, house, overworking) and they are much happier and more interesting than the average person. I feel like more and more people decide for that different type of lifestyle and there must be a lot of single women out there around that age(or younger, like me ).
22 Jun 2020, 6:24 am
22 Jun 2020, 6:39 am
Teach51 wrote:
I hate to be the voice of optimism in this thread but I have been at rock bottom so many times in my life and somehow managed to turn things around and find fulfillment both in work and friendships.
Well, if things don't work out with your current bf,
Could I be next in line?
But with the proviso that there be no intercourse hanky panky.
I really have a philosophical problem with the "Breeding" act.
Teach51 wrote:
I have never found the "happy ever after" fantasy I thought existed but I have found fulfilling work and strong friendships.
Yep,
The "happy ever after" fantasy is the way society tricks young naive people into having babies.
That's why most 90 year olds don't reproduce.
They are too smart to be taken in by that manipulative nonsense.
Teach51 wrote:
I have solid, long term friendships with men also and I don't give a hoot if they fantasize about me or want a different kind of relationship, they are still my very dear friends and know that it is platonic on my part. Men can get turned on by [b] anything when they are horny,[/b]
True dat.
Never bend over in front of a man.
That is asking for trouble.
Teach51 wrote:
I am not afraid of mens' sexuality nor judgemental, men are capable of lasting and loyal friendships with both men and women. Mens' sexuality is very visual, if any woman looks sexy they can be aroused whatever the relationship, it's biological,
Just a warning.
If a man suddenly bellows: "Me strong like bull",
Run for the hills.
Teach51 wrote:
women are aroused more cerebrally and slowly(IMO) it's a different process. Neither is better, just different.
I found my present relationship at 65 so those of you who are despairing at 30+, age is really not an obstacle. You may be defeated, disillusioned and fed up with trying. Take a time out or be contented alone, but it really is never too late. Happy people attract other people, unhappy people don't.
I found my present relationship at 65 so those of you who are despairing at 30+, age is really not an obstacle. You may be defeated, disillusioned and fed up with trying. Take a time out or be contented alone, but it really is never too late. Happy people attract other people, unhappy people don't.
Sly,
Take note.
22 Jun 2020, 6:39 am
Sly “doesn’t have his life together,” either.
Maybe you and him could get together
I would really listen to Teach: the Voice of Experience (and one with experiences).
22 Jun 2020, 6:55 am
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Pepe wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ok, but two things to keep in mind:
- A male friend wanting more than friendship doesn't necessarily mean that he just wants you for sex - he may be really interested in you for you. Are you sure that it's always the case (only for sex)?
- A male friend may not necessarily had any romantic intentions at the beginning, and later he simply fell in love with you, this scenario is less likely but possible too.
- A male friend wanting more than friendship doesn't necessarily mean that he just wants you for sex - he may be really interested in you for you. Are you sure that it's always the case (only for sex)?
- A male friend may not necessarily had any romantic intentions at the beginning, and later he simply fell in love with you, this scenario is less likely but possible too.
Nah nah, don't worry I know many don't only want sex. As I said in the first post, the main problem is that potential friends actually catch feelings and that I have to hurt them at some point.. But you never know if it's about sex or not, cause if they find me attractive, they may not even fully realize themselves that they're physically attracted to me and they THINK they're in love. That's another phenomenon.
I had the impression, incorrectly apparently, that you wanted a relationship with a friend first and then a more intimate/sexual involvement.
So, are you saying you *only* want a platonic experience?
Now I'm confused. I'm not looking for a intimate/sexual relationship in the first place. First of all I have to put my life together again. What I want is REAL and lasting friendships. And that's what I can't seem to find.
OK,
This is something new to me.
An attractive, vibrant, semi-athletic young woman wants *only* a platonic relationship.
This could easily be achieved on the internet.
So what are some of the other parameters that are involved?
Outdoor activities like bushwalking?
Parties?
Dancing?
Discussing philosophy?
Discussing politics?
Exploring different countries?
Is this friend ever going to be a possible future life partner?
If not, I like the idea very much,
But doesn't this sort of thing only happen in books or the movies?
To me, if you just want a male friend for life, I seriously think maybe a gay friend would fit the bill perfectly.
And most gay men I have met are extremely kind-hearted.
Have you looked into this?
Have you ever watched the situation comedy called "Will and Grace"?
22 Jun 2020, 6:59 am
kraftiekortie wrote:
Sly “doesn’t have his life together,” either.
Maybe you and him could get together
I would really listen to Teach: the Voice of Experience (and one with experiences).
Maybe you and him could get together
I would really listen to Teach: the Voice of Experience (and one with experiences).
Alternatively,
I could put on a dress and high heels and show him the ropes.
22 Jun 2020, 7:16 am
LunaticCentruroides (Lol interesting name) I found that you're post resonated with me and it relates to the experiences I have some of my female autistic friends bring up when they are around me. And then I have had some of them say I am the only guy they know who is looking to have them as a friend and not someone simply to take advantage of.
But even that isn't true because I am someone who in the past on a number of occasions has pushed social boundaries in this area even if that meant damaging friendships or if they were interested than leading people on in the process. However, when I started my Neurodiversity club at university in an effort to accommodate my people, I came to the conclusion that pushing these boundaries and interacting with club members outside the conduct of us being friends is the wrong call to make. And it would things enormously difficult for autistic nonbinary/females who have joined this club looking for an accepting social environment. As a result of this I have been able to hopefully do a good job in this area. And now I have someone I am dating so that's all good.
kraftiekortie wrote:
Sly “doesn’t have his life together,” either.
Maybe you and him could get together
I would really listen to Teach: the Voice of Experience (and one with experiences).
Kraftie I respect you dearly and you have helped me through tough times. But I get the impression that might be a less than ideal response just based on what this thread is about.
Maybe you and him could get together
I would really listen to Teach: the Voice of Experience (and one with experiences).
Last edited by Shahunshah on 22 Jun 2020, 8:13 am, edited 2 times in total.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,669
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
22 Jun 2020, 7:23 am
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