What type of man do you not want?

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ToadOfSteel
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10 Mar 2011, 11:32 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

We hit puberty later in life because our brains continue to grow after birth. It's that simple.

Using evolution to support the claim that we need a partner is even more ridiculous than saying every single person out there had a void in their lives.

The point isnt to say everyone needs a partner, its to explain why there are people such as me that feel a void inside when we're alone...

TeaEarlGreyHot
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10 Mar 2011, 11:34 pm

dunbots wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

We don't need a partner, but the whole point of living is to procreate, although no one is forcing you to.

I've got two kids. :-\

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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10 Mar 2011, 11:35 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

The point isnt to say everyone needs a partner, its to explain why there are people such as me that feel a void inside when we're alone...

If you say so. I like being alone.

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dunbots
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10 Mar 2011, 11:36 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

dunbots wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

We don't need a partner, but the whole point of living is to procreate, although no one is forcing you to.

I've got two kids. :-\

I know. I was supporting you, not against you.

ToadOfSteel
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10 Mar 2011, 11:37 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

If you say so. I like being alone.

I wasn't trying to be argumentative. I just don't like it when people tell me to just "improve my life" when I feel empty inside precisely because I am alone...

TeaEarlGreyHot
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10 Mar 2011, 11:37 pm

dunbots wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

dunbots wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

We don't need a partner, but the whole point of living is to procreate, although no one is forcing you to.

I've got two kids. :-\

I know. I was supporting you, not against you.

Ah... okay. lol

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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10 Mar 2011, 11:38 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

If you say so. I like being alone.

I wasn't trying to be argumentative. I just don't like it when people tell me to just "improve my life" when I feel empty inside precisely because I am alone...

I never told you that, though I might ask you to quit whining and go out and DO something about it.

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Who_Am_I
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11 Mar 2011, 12:16 am

The things that will absolutely rule a person out for me are abuse and controlling behaviour.

I also really, really dislike:

Arrogance/unwarranted confidence.

Defeatism.

Dishonesty.

Substance abuse, including alcohol abuse.

Unpredictability.

Bigotry.

I don't think someone overly social would work too well with me, either.

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poppyfields
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11 Mar 2011, 1:06 am

Dealbreakers withou a second thought: abusive men, racists, smokers and recreational drug users

Also:

-tattooed men, I know it's superficial but I just think they ruin perfectly good skin
-clingy people who won't give me space
-unambitious (no dreams for the future)
-whiners who just complain about how hard their life is instead of trying to improve it
-someone who needs to talk to their partner about politics

RICKY5
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11 Mar 2011, 1:18 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

If you say so. I like being alone.

I wasn't trying to be argumentative. I just don't like it when people tell me to just "improve my life" when I feel empty inside precisely because I am alone...

I never told you that, though I might ask you to quit whining and go out and DO something about it.

THANK YOU!

RICKY5
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11 Mar 2011, 1:25 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Dantac wrote:

I disagree with the 'im a whole person' idea. If you were whole (emotionally/spiritually/etc) you would not need to get married or find someone to grow old with... after all, you only need a one time physical 'connection' to reproduce and nowadays a woman can raise a child on her own.

But you do need someone... there's a void otherwise. Most people I think, find someone who they are comfortable with and can experience moments of happiness with. A soulmate on the other hand is the person that they are comfortable with and whose mere presence of or thought of alone gives them happiness. Its a big difference and why the concept of the soulmate is so strong.

..and why they're so rare & damn hard to find.

I can understand being a whole person, but at the same time it makes perfect sense evolutionarily to select in favor of partners that can stay together long-term and raise the family together. Before all you "alpha-male" douches start mouthing off, I need to point out that we're humans, not wolves. Successfully raising a human to maturity requires a lot more than a wolf. There's a reason humans have such a delayed start to puberty compared to others, you know... Children raised with both parents have the mental input of both parents (in an ideal situation, anyway) into their upbringing. So the people that feel they need partners are selected for better upbringing for their children. It's not a hard selection (kids raised by single parents can still fare just as well, and often do), but there is a slight edge.

I partially agree with you. Part of why you see a lot of single moms and "alpha male" douchebaggery is because things like easy credit, welfare, and social services have made the "provider" cheap to get.

Women have lover-provider complex going, basically two contradictory instinctual desires. Some go one way or the other to different degrees. The socio-technological environment advantaged men on the lover side of that spectrum.

Needless to say if I was interested in dating, I would never date a single mother. Why should a guy pay for someone else's f**kup?

Last edited by RICKY5 on 11 Mar 2011, 1:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

zen_mistress
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11 Mar 2011, 1:26 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

If you say so. I like being alone.

I wasn't trying to be argumentative. I just don't like it when people tell me to just "improve my life" when I feel empty inside precisely because I am alone...

You should go to the Jersey Shore set and try and get on the show. I would watch it then. Toad with all those spray-tanned, fresh from the gym or hair salon people.

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ToadOfSteel
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11 Mar 2011, 1:27 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

I never told you that, though I might ask you to quit whining and go out and DO something about it.

I'm trying to do something about it... I'm on OKCupid after all. And I'm actively messaging too. It might not be hundreds of girls a day (I need to feel at the very least like the person in question is someone I could see myself spending my future with before i send the message), but I am working on it.

RICKY5
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11 Mar 2011, 1:37 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

I never told you that, though I might ask you to quit whining and go out and DO something about it.

Diet of less than 2000 calories per day and excercise will do wonders.

hale_bopp
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11 Mar 2011, 1:55 am

If the problem is people think you're boring, then get interesting!

Find hobbies, see the world, try new things, learn about world news, learn about a variety of different stuff that can be discussed, go to clubs and meet new people, go to the gym to get rid of some of your pent up feelings, go to work functions, get a part time job, just get lots of hobbies.

The world is huge. There is so much to do in it. I don't know what New York has but its probably everything, get a dog to take for a walk, go fishing, theres 1,000,000 hobies you could try to become more interesting. Finding a woman won't make you interesting, so if thats what you think get it out of your head now.

If you want something to talk about with girlfriends, get hobbies and make friends first. There is no Quick fix to your situation, like most situations.

blue_bean
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11 Mar 2011, 2:02 am

- Heavy drinkers and party goers (especially when they're my age or older, they should have grown out of that "irresponsible" stage by now)
- Pretentious guys
- Single parents (sorry)
- Superficial charmers, or guys who play to my emotional needs too soon
- Guys who are self conscious of their appearance
- Guys who don't wash properly
- Racists, sexists, or any guy who seems "oversexed"
- Guys who still have ex's obsessed with them (long story)

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