The UCSB shooter--an Aspie with a rant against women

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Where are men getting this idea that they are "entitled" to sex?????

I think that is what we need to figure out and change course on. Something must be feeding it.

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I'm not going to accept a magical argument like that. You need to explain what's so special about your contribution that it deserves such an inflated valuation.

Wow. That's a heck of a negative attitude.

Girls who want to have sex all the time have no trouble getting lots of boys to do lots of nice things for them, but the relationships that you get are often worth less than what you put out.

I didn't bother to ask a girl out until I was 27, and even then it was because she was a friend, and I already knew that wanted to date but didn't have the guts to ask. I don't get asked out as much anymore, put I put out much less (emotionally) and the relationships are higher quality. No regrets.

Do you really talk about your son that way? Wow. He could do better.

There's an attitude in our society that a mans worth is based on his ability to "get laid", plus deep and fulfilling emotionally connection and companionship is hard to find outside the thing our culture calls a "relationship".

Are girls more likely to do that nowadays? Back when I was still in high school, a girl would have to be quite brave to ask any guy out instead of waiting for him to ask her out on a date because it would go against the norm. So, cultural factors play a role here as well. The most that I got in that regard when I was in high school was when I got a Valentine's Day card from a girl and I only found who it was a few years later. I never even noticed when anyone would appeared interested in me because I did pick up on any of those non-verbal cues and the first time that I went on a date was when I was 31.

I have to turn this one around on you, since men aren't the only ones who feel entitled to take from others. For example, I meet quite a lot of women who think that health care and education are rights. I've personally worked my butt off to make those "rights" possible, including:

- working on optics-finishing systems needed to make modern medical scopes and intra-ocular implants.

- microlithoraphic systems needed to make SNP-chips.

- several separate systems that made modern computer chips and hard disk drives possible. Without those, you wouldn't have CAT scans, MRIs, any type of bioinformatics, or computerized medical records. A lot of statistical research being done now wouldn't be practical.

Our company was the only one in the world able to make that stuff.

I agree that he doesn't have a right to love or sex. By the same token, you do not have a right to my work.

As for your continuation:



Absolutely, and a lot of women need a major refresher on that. The amount that a 30-ish middle class guy pays in taxes to support just the non-working parts of our education system would cover half the rent at a studio apartment. It would cover his private health insurance twice-over. I meet a lot of women who want to tell me what I should support. That's not even close to OK.

Not to mention, in a world where we have the ability to provide a healthy quality of life, the concept of human dignity requires that we share it, and not just reserve it for the most privileged few.

If you don't want to share it to anyone in need, then never let it spread beyond your own personal use.

We have a capitalist system where labour becomes a commodity and is sold for money which are exchanged for goods and services. If you feel your labour is undervalued, take it up with your employer, or, withdraw it.

I'd amend "in our society" to "among men". I've been a woman for a long time now, and I've yet to hear a woman judge a man on the basis of whether or not he can get laid. "Gettin' any?" is not a greeting among women, who make up just over half the population.

Responding to your edit:



We provide way more than "healthy quality of life." If that's the only standard, then we never had a recession (and all of the stimulus debt was elective spending). Even a lot of my lower middle class friends could afford a $1,000/year cable bill during the last ten years.

I'm not going to accept the faux-morality card, either. If you look at the numbers, most of what we spend doesn't go to the poor. I say that as someone who worked as an organizer for HFH, and also a Democratic organizer in a high-tax, high service state.

If you really wanted to help the poor, a 'right to housing' would be a lot cheaper and more effective than a right to healthcare. Even at market rates, housing typically costs two or three times what private health insurance does, and the digs that you get for that are crumby. And in contrast to healthcare, we actually have an oversupply of construction labor.



I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let you get away with that. I've worked very hard to make a difference for people who had less than I did. There's a good chance that I've done more than you have.



We already discussed that: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postx253572- ... ml#5974105

I'd amend "in our society" to "among men". I've been a woman for a long time now, and I've yet to hear a woman judge a man on the basis of whether or not he can get laid. "Gettin' any?" is not a greeting among women, who make up just over half the population.

We already discussed that: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postx253572- ... ml#5974105

I'm sorry, what's your point here? I get:

- You're taxed too much.
- Too much of the tax you pay goes to 'ineffective' education.
- This somehow 'benefits' women and/or feminism.
- And this displeases you.

Anything like that?

I would say that the kind of negativity and self-absorption that made me run away went a lot further than common Aspie behavior. I grew up around Aspie men; I knew the difference.

An Aspie guy who is serious about wanting a relationship certainly can learn to show interest in the person he is talking to, by asking questions and so forth. You kind of need that to have any sort of relationship.

For the record, my Aspie son is so comfortable in his own skin that he has no interest in living a nuerotypical lifestyle with nuerotypical aspirations. I don't think it is about saying, "hey, don't want this" as much as teaching true self-acceptance, and that my son has. And ... if it wasn't for his hormones insisting on it, he would rather not think at all about sex, lol. But, since they do, he has reluctantly allowed himself to get dragged into the dating world, and while he isn't very good at it and isn't really ready for it, there are definitely girls who like him. He does fake NT well enough often enough to get by with some things a more impaired Aspie might not, but within his social circle, he usually is his full-on Aspie self, so it isn't the faking it that gets some girls interested. Fascinating to watch, really. Of course, as his mom I think he's kind of handsome, so if kids his age see him that way, too, I'm sure it helps And he is seen as smart among his peers, another thing that probably helps (since many girl are still evolutionarily hard-wired to seek good providers). Um, not that he is having sex; he isn't. He knows that would be inappropriate at his age and stage of life, and too likely to mess up his goals. He's just enjoying the first steps.

When I've come on this board, sometimes the dating mistakes being made are so glaring, I wish I had time to help coach all the young singles that come on here struggling. But, alas, they never want to listen to me anyway. Still, you can't blame the world when your foot is firmly in your mouth, especially when you insist on putting it back in there every time someone tells you how to remove it. I think, in that situation, you have to realize that subconsciously you don't want what you think you want, and work on getting your conscious to align with your subconscious. Heck, I did that myself for more than a decade, making glaring dating mistakes because I wasn't actually ready for a serious relationship. We all do it. We live in a world that tells what we are supposed to want, and we buy into it, even though it might not actually be the best thing for us in that time and place.

I'd amend "in our society" to "among men". I've been a woman for a long time now, and I've yet to hear a woman judge a man on the basis of whether or not he can get laid. "Gettin' any?" is not a greeting among women, who make up just over half the population.

I have received advice about my profile on sites and i took it and changed stuff, it seems otherwise most the advice i get is go lose wieght or hit the gym. which seems like change who you are to get a girl. I don't want a girl who is only interested in me cause i have a thin body. I also mostly like my body. I do hope to get to go to a gym when i can afford it but i won't become thin. I just want to lose 35 ponds and get back to my regular self, not thin, but not super chubby, not that i'm super chubby now but more chubby then i like. if they would be intto me with a thin body but not into me with my regular body wouldn't they only be seeing me as a object? I don't want to have to be something i'm not to find a woman to love me.
I would love any advice on what to say to women in messages, maybe in years i'll be brave enough to message them again, i sent one last night after 6 months.

I am seriously NOT talking about the kind of advice you can get from a dating site by someone looking at your profile; that will only involve the superficials. I am talking about how you pursue relationships, where you go to find them, what your expectations are, what makes you attracted to someone (which will change over time; subconscious avoidance does a lot in this area to keep someone unintentionally single, allowing you to feel attraction only to people who are not attracted to you).

So there is your first mistake: thinking that advice on a dating profile is something of substance. All that does is tell you how to market yourself, and a pretty marketing package can be a useful thing, but it won't get you any further than the first date.

That said, singles do invest a lot of time and energy in their marketing package, so in a competitive world overly focused on first impressions you have to decide if you want to compete from that starting place. If you don't, I would suggest not trying to meet dates through on-line profiles, bars, or any other superficial means. If you want them to date you because of who you are well, then, you have to meet them in situations where they will actually get to know you. Clubs, churches, mutual friends, family, that sort of thing.

Of course, the purpose of on-line dating sites is to give you the opportunity to meet people that you probably wouldn't meet otherwise. So, you could take that as a means to organise a date with someone and then you can still get know them the usual way after that. Just don't use the dating profile as a substitute (though dating profiles are useful for knowing at least something about the person before meeting them).

Did you read his manifesto? If you had, you would not have made your comment. He came from a middle class, broken family. His family had financial ups and downs along the middle class spectrum. He had Asperger's Syndrome, a main manifestation of which is difficulty socializing normally. That led to his being relentlessly and cruelly bullied throughout his life. He was not able to graduate from a regular school, complete a fully-scheduled year of college, let alone hold down any job. These things happen because troubled kids are relentlessly bullied and teased, while the bullies' parents click into the internet and become cyber bullies, an activity that has more than once caused immeasurable harm.

Defensive violence is the only means of justifiable violence by law, killing an unarmed person for the sheer job is absolutely abhorrent and depraved of humanity. By aiming at the monsters who bullied him, he became a much more worse monster, two wrongs don't fix a right. It is even worse that he attacked unarmed civilians that had no chance of putting up a fight, he was a very twisted person with a distorted perspective and a coward...