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Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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cyberdad
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12 May 2020, 2:42 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
If people generally didn’t dislike AS traits then the AS wouldn’t have a name and wouldn’t have existed in DSM.

Think about it for a moment.


Not quite...some of the "traits" don't allow for functional living but that's another debate



Well, yeah, good point. When I think of AS I think of very mild case of autism tho. Surely what I said above doesn't apply on classic autism nor on AS with serious health problems (such as Hyperacusis).


Yep doesn't apply to the mildys



kraftiekortie
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12 May 2020, 4:02 am

Aspergers almost always presents as “mild autism.”

I feel very few people here, or perhaps nobody here, are “nonfunctional.” It’s more like they experience challenges when it come to “functionality.”



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12 May 2020, 5:57 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Aspergers almost always presents as “mild autism.”

I feel very few people here, or perhaps nobody here, are “nonfunctional.” It’s more like they experience challenges when it come to “functionality.”


Agreed.

Aspie = "mildly autistic"
We are "high functioning".
I was dxed "mildly autistic" 40 years ago because they didn't use the word "Aspergers" at that time.

Over my lifetime, most people didn't believe I was on the autistic spectrum since their idea of what autism is was derived from current affairs shows which featured *profoundly* autistic people.
And as we all should know, the profoundly autistic are a small subset of those on the spectrum.

40 years ago, there were a hell of a lot more ignorant bastards, regarding autism, than there are today.



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12 May 2020, 9:15 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Aspergers almost always presents as “mild autism.”

I feel very few people here, or perhaps nobody here, are “nonfunctional.” It’s more like they experience challenges when it come to “functionality.”

'experiences challenges to functionality' kraftie, that is spot on. When I describe myself as autistic I feel like I am exaggerating and pretending to have difficulties I don't have, on the other hand most people not on the spectrum take the term High functioning literally (ironic).

I don't mind the term ''mild autism'' I'm grateful not to have more difficulties, as long as it's in a context that knows what it's talking about. In the non autism world so completely do I not fit the Asperger stereotype in peoples minds that mild autism is interpreted as ''mild Asperger's''.


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12 May 2020, 5:14 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Aspergers almost always presents as “mild autism.”

I feel very few people here, or perhaps nobody here, are “nonfunctional.” It’s more like they experience challenges when it come to “functionality.”

In a world that requires people be normal and functional to be considered for dating that’s all it takes to be unloveable.


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funeralxempire
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12 May 2020, 5:17 pm

sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Aspergers almost always presents as “mild autism.”

I feel very few people here, or perhaps nobody here, are “nonfunctional.” It’s more like they experience challenges when it come to “functionality.”

In a world that requires people be normal and functional to be considered for dating that’s all it takes to be unloveable.


Not really, I've got the social skills, appearance, hygiene and temperament of an orc on PCP and I've managed to be loved. It isn't just a matter of the skills you possess, it's also how you apply them. If the persona you present is uninteresting and distant that's going to undermine you even if you're otherwise well-equipped socially.


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cyberdad
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12 May 2020, 5:55 pm

I guess what's considered "mild" is in the eye of the beholder. All of you are looking at AS through the prism of your own experiences.

AS includes a huge swathe of people with IQ > 70 and no communication deficits I'm guessing there's plenty of people who wear the label and are struggling to be functional, but hey, isn't one of the symptoms being highly self-absorbed?.

I agree with Sly on this one....



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13 May 2020, 9:29 am

cyberdad wrote:
I guess what's considered "mild" is in the eye of the beholder. All of you are looking at AS through the prism of your own experiences.

AS includes a huge swathe of people with IQ > 70 and no communication deficits I'm guessing there's plenty of people who wear the label and are struggling to be functional, but hey, isn't one of the symptoms being highly self-absorbed?.

I agree with Sly on this one....

I thought we all had communication deficits? I thought ASD was classed as a communication disorder (although we all have other issues as well). On the surface I appear to communicate well but beyond that I am communicating one way and everyone else is communicating another way (and with much less effort) this causes constant miss communication that is occasionally a problem for them and always a problem for me.


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13 May 2020, 9:34 am

It is estimable that a significant portion of our population has some form of communication deficiency, but this may essentially be a mere mis-perception on the part of individuals displaying more neuro-normative behavior than us.

You know, the kind of folk for whom you gotta dumb-down your words.

:wink: Do you see what I did there?


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fluffysaurus
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13 May 2020, 9:36 am

sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Aspergers almost always presents as “mild autism.”

I feel very few people here, or perhaps nobody here, are “nonfunctional.” It’s more like they experience challenges when it come to “functionality.”

In a world that requires people be normal and functional to be considered for dating that’s all it takes to be unloveable.

You do function and well enough to be datable, it's the normal part that's a problem. Our functionality is not normal and therefor people often make false assumptions about us, such as lazy not to work full time ect.


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13 May 2020, 9:47 am

Fnord wrote:
It is estimable that a significant portion of our population has some form of communication deficiency, but this may essentially be a mere mis-perception on the part of individuals displaying more neuro-normative behavior than us.

You know, the kind of folk for whom you gotta dumb-down your words.

:wink: Do you see what I did there?

No no, the majority is always right, this is why democratically elected leaders are always good leaders; Hitler for example.


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13 May 2020, 9:50 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
Fnord wrote:
It is estimable that a significant portion of our population has some form of communication deficiency, but this may essentially be a mere mis-perception on the part of individuals displaying more neuro-normative behavior than us.  You know, the kind of folk for whom you gotta dumb-down your words.  Do you see what I did there?
No no, the majority is always right, this is why democratically elected leaders are always good leaders; Hitler for example.
Image


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13 May 2020, 9:52 am

^
:lol: :lol: :lol:


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13 May 2020, 3:30 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Aspergers almost always presents as “mild autism.”

I feel very few people here, or perhaps nobody here, are “nonfunctional.” It’s more like they experience challenges when it come to “functionality.”

In a world that requires people be normal and functional to be considered for dating that’s all it takes to be unloveable.


Not really, I've got the social skills, appearance, hygiene and temperament of an orc on PCP and I've managed to be loved. It isn't just a matter of the skills you possess, it's also how you apply them. If the persona you present is uninteresting and distant that's going to undermine you even if you're otherwise well-equipped socially.

Functional means getting a career, car, house etc, being a contributing member of society, something many aspies struggle with.
Every single kid is raised to try to achieve that. It’s what expected of every single human alive. When one can’t achieve that they are seen as not functioning and not worthy of love or dating. To date them would hold the other person back from achieving it. It’s survival of the strong and the weak must be left behind.


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sly279
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13 May 2020, 3:36 pm

fluffysaurus wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Aspergers almost always presents as “mild autism.”

I feel very few people here, or perhaps nobody here, are “nonfunctional.” It’s more like they experience challenges when it come to “functionality.”

In a world that requires people be normal and functional to be considered for dating that’s all it takes to be unloveable.

You do function and well enough to be datable, it's the normal part that's a problem. Our functionality is not normal and therefor people often make false assumptions about us, such as lazy not to work full time ect.

Could I date with my social skills yeah, I seem mostly normal. Do I meet the requirements of overall functional to be considered for dating, no. If people won’t date me then it doesn’t matter if I could do well or not socially.
Guess the problem ultimately lies with a class system. I’m deemed lower class and therefore not datable. Only difference between the west and say India is they put front about their class system.
If we say lived in the Star Trek world I’d probably have relationships, as money and status have no meaning to them.

I’m seen as a lazy loser. Once they hear I work retail they done with me. Which means they liked me enough before to consider dating me, they liked and matched with me. Message me, but oh no he’s a loser who works retail. Not listing my job doesn’t seem to be doing me any good other then getting my hopes up just to crush them over and over


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13 May 2020, 3:43 pm

The things sly say....are truths impossible to deny.