Would you ever date a fat or obese person?

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I never understood the concept of badgering someone until they walk away, then calling it "winning the argument"...

I understand it but I've met my match truly in him - he's far more obnoxious than I could ever hope to be!

He can have my crown!

She replied to my posting. She never answered my questions. And I didn't "badger" her. I responded to each of her posts, instead of ignoring her.

I was thinking more in general as opposed to this specific occasion, but it still applies... someone walking away because of an impossible stalemate doesn't equal a "win" in my mind.

I made valid points, she did not. I do not see it as a stalemate. It's more like her throwing in the towel since she was unable to use any logic in her debate, nor did she even adhere to her own advice.

enough, nessa238 and LiamN79. LiamN79, if you hoped that a moderator would take action on your behalf, then you needed to stop taking insulting potshots of your own.

When you judge people by their outwards appearance - one set of standards, and then ask them to accept you as you are - another set of standards, you will usually find yourself alone.

Women do not see the world through the same eyes as you do.

They have some basic needs that has to be met.

You need to have a good job, be a good provider, have money, have a nice house, have a nice car, and be a nice person.

Or

If you are cute - you can hook up with them a couple of times and get what you want and then toss them aside.

If you was cute - you wouldn't have made this post!

The cute women have their choice of whom they want to go out with and they pick and choose with their eyes and not with their brains.

Unless you open up the door and prove to them that you are a good guy, unless they spend time around you and are attracted to you - you won't ever find a woman.

Even if you do find a woman you like and are attracted to, if her heart is set on someone else - you are not going to change her mind!

I guess I have raised my standards too high because I have had over 60 relationships, but none of them ever worked out due to the fact that I am not rich and I do not have a job or a good job and they probably think that they can do much better.

If it is a choice between going with someone you really aren't attracted to physically / emotionally - like the mother of my child, or someone that is a little nutzy or goofy looking - I think I would rather just stay by myself.

Someday, someone might come along and think that I am just fine the way I am and then I will have to decide if I want to give up my freedom for companionship.

Yes it is tough being alone, but how much worse would it be to have someone and not have the money to properly take care of her in the lifestyle that she has become accustomed to?
If she marries and then divorces you - you could end up in worse shape then if you never would have met her.

"If it is a choice between going with someone you really aren't attracted to physically / emotionally - like the mother of my child, or someone that is a little nutzy or goofy looking - I think I would rather just stay by myself."

This sentence is illogical

If you didn't want a person you weren't really attracted to physically/emotionally, why did you get together with one and have a child??

Also what does 'nutzy or goofy looking' mean?

Is it people who might have mental health problems or autism?

Proving to them you're a good guy isn't enough, I'm afraid. Ask all the other good guys who are in our boat.

No, we have the same basic NEEDS as anyone: food, water, air and shelter.
Now that we're allowed jobs and stuff being a provider is not necessary.

Well if it helps anybody:

When I was younger and dating, I looked for a man who seemed kind. I was a bit naive and didn't realize a lot of people will fake being kind at first, just to get what they want, whatever that might be. But then they get a bit bored and their true self comes out more.

But I didn't go out with anyone based on looks, salary, owning a home, etc. In fact a lot of the guys were not that attractive, none owned their own home, and most were poor. What I hoped to find was someone who was ready to settle down.

It took half my life to find that. I am now married and after a bumpy start we've gotten used to each other and things have improved. He lost his job a few years ago and I wouldn't think of leaving over that.

So there are women out there who want you for who you are on the inside. He isn't fat since that's teh topic - but if he were I wouldn't care. What is a deal breaker for me is meanness. And I would absolutely not tolerate being hit either.

I have dated an obese person before, but now I'm with someone of average weight.

Ideally, we wouldn't consider weight to be a factor when choosing a compatible partner. However, humans are somewhat shallow, and we can't help that. If you aren't attracted to larger ladies, then don't force yourself to date one. She deserves someone who is attracted to her, and you deserve someone whom you are attracted to.

a person can be focused on looks and still date an obese person, because obesity is not unattractive to everyone. some people find obese people attractive, others like a variety of body types.

I've been alone for so long that I really don't care, as long as they have a brain that works and shows good judgement.

I dated a big girl, a skinny guy, and two big guys.

I married the second big guy. The girl was cute but she was manipulative and anyway I eventually figured out I was straight. Talk about awkward-- telling your anxious, depressed, bulimic, emotionally abusive girlfriend that you still love her but you really want to just be friends 'cause you've had to admit that you've been leading her and yourself on for two years 'cause you've finally been forced to realize that you're straight is awkward. I'm pretty sure that could only happen to an Aspie.

The skinny guy was a complete and total dick. I had a mirror on my closet door. We had sex six times and he spent all of every one looking in the mirror, like he was checking his form or something. He ended up dumping me because I wasn't a good enough prop at social events. I'm glad he did that-- I would have followed him anywhere and I can just imagine what life would have been.

The first big guy was a really great guy. I would have married him if he hadn't been horribly, terminally, controllingly, demanding-I-compensate-for-100%-of-his-problems-ally insecure. I still think about him a lot. He had great hair, wonderful eyes, a really cool sense of humor, I hope he got over the insecurity or found a girl who could handle living in a cage.

The only worry I have with DH and weight is his health. We are watching his dad die by millimeters. It's not pretty. He's gorgeous no matter what, but we really do need to do something about the 80 to 120 extra pounds. I want him to outlive me. He f*****g pisses me off with his bloody insecurity-- insecure people should not f*****g marry Aspies, ever ever ever ever-- but I seriously could not ever deal with losing him. I have met a lot of people but no one else I feel about like I do about him.

Did I mention I wish he'd stop being so darn insecure about it.

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