The UCSB shooter--an Aspie with a rant against women
27 May 2014, 1:18 am
DW_a_mom wrote:
No one is asking you to give anything away;
You're correct in the sense that they don't have the decency to ask. Everybody has to pay into the things that I mentioned, including the poor people who are hit hardest by that.
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I'm not dumb enough to think that is the deal.
No? You're certainly manipulative enough to pretend that it's anything else.
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The line is how much incentive do you require to move onto the next project and stay inspired?
You really do like to take blind pot shots. Would you like to retract what you've said, or will I need to set you straight on that also?
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No way am I going to get into a "how big is your contribution" game, by the way.
Because it would be redundant? You've already done something quite a bit lower by accusing someone that you don't know of being miserly:
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If you don't want to share it to anyone in need, then never let it spread beyond your own personal use.
You said that in "response" to a post in which I had already pointed out that we squander money that might have paid for housing or healthcare.
27 May 2014, 1:32 am
NobodyKnows wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
I don't commoditize my efforts to make the world a better place. I give them away freely of my choice. There is nothing wrong with commoditizing if your talents create a marketable product, of course, but then you do have to understand that your motives will always be mixed.
Are yours pure? You seem able to look the other way on the issue of where taxes come from, and to whom they go. That should be pretty glaring stuff to someone who genuinely cares about helping the less fortunate.
I could debate the whole post but I don't really see the point to it, you've got your ideas and they are unusual and they seem to be very solidly set. You have a right to them, I disagree with them, and that is that.
Tax policy is my business, my family surely pays more than the average family does, so there is no "looking the other way." But do I think the CEO of a company has "earned" 10,000,000 a year while paying his lowest workers so little they can't even purchase all the basics? Do I think it is right that people like Romney who create nothing tangible at all earn millions taxed at a preferred rate? That would be a resounding NO. I've climbed the corporate ladder and I've seen how much greed is involved, how those at the top sell little pieces of their souls. I was doing it myself, until I realized what it was exactly I was doing, and jumped off the ladder. I am very, very good at what I do, and my family has a comfortable living, but other things in my life come first and while I respect the talent and game play of those who do well, I don't have any desire to be them, and I think they can be incredibly stingy simply because, well, the view from up there really is distorted and out of touch with reality. As a percent of income, they are not very generous at all, although they like to believe they are. Do you really think you can do the McDonald's cashier's job and do it well, making their job worth so much less than yours? I know I can't, and consider myself lucky to have enough smarts to not have to look for work like that. My life experience tells me that everyone is a valuable piece of the puzzle, and it is hubris to think you've "earned" the right to millions without any help from anyone else. There is ALWAYS the infrastructure that got you there; we all benefit from the infrastructure in direct and indirect ways, and when we fail to invest in it we fail to prepare for the challenges of the future.
I know we have an issue with some people "taking" what they don't deserve or need, but even bigger is the issue of people who need and cannot get. I will always be willing to accept the former as a cost of the later, because I've witnessed way too much of the later. There is always waste and inefficiency in anything large scale; that is a cost of doing business, so to speak. Of course we continue to look for ways to minimize it, but it remains inevitable.
But, heck, I'm just an idealist when it comes to the big picture. I believe we create the world we live in by how we think of the world and people, and how we interact with it, and that what goes around comes around. The less selfish any of us are, the more good things come back to us. But of course we're all a little selfish anyway; that is human nature.
Lol, this what happens when I write when staying up too late.
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
27 May 2014, 1:40 am
sly279 wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I have received advice about my profile on sites and i took it and changed stuff, it seems otherwise most the advice i get is go lose wieght or hit the gym. which seems like change who you are to get a girl. I don't want a girl who is only interested in me cause i have a thin body. I also mostly like my body. I do hope to get to go to a gym when i can afford it but i won't become thin. I just want to lose 35 ponds and get back to my regular self, not thin, but not super chubby, not that i'm super chubby now but more chubby then i like. if they would be intto me with a thin body but not into me with my regular body wouldn't they only be seeing me as a object? I don't want to have to be something i'm not to find a woman to love me.
I would love any advice on what to say to women in messages, maybe in years i'll be brave enough to message them again, i sent one last night after 6 months.
I am seriously NOT talking about the kind of advice you can get from a dating site by someone looking at your profile; that will only involve the superficials. I am talking about how you pursue relationships, where you go to find them, what your expectations are, what makes you attracted to someone (which will change over time; subconscious avoidance does a lot in this area to keep someone unintentionally single, allowing you to feel attraction only to people who are not attracted to you).
So there is your first mistake: thinking that advice on a dating profile is something of substance. All that does is tell you how to market yourself, and a pretty marketing package can be a useful thing, but it won't get you any further than the first date.
That said, singles do invest a lot of time and energy in their marketing package, so in a competitive world overly focused on first impressions you have to decide if you want to compete from that starting place. If you don't, I would suggest not trying to meet dates through on-line profiles, bars, or any other superficial means. If you want them to date you because of who you are well, then, you have to meet them in situations where they will actually get to know you. Clubs, churches, mutual friends, family, that sort of thing.
well once I am on a date with them, or hanging out it goes quite well, most people tend to have fun hanging out with me. I don't know why. I tend to make people laugh and smile, generally have a good time. I feel that I would be ok on the date and kinda still have confidence on that matter. so its mostly the getting a date thing that is my problem. I'm sure i'll have relationship issues but don't most people?
for me its personality. looks are nice, but i'm attracted looks wise to most women, I think i've seen like 25 i didn't feel attracted to, but have seen 4000plus that I find gorgeous. something that will get me every time though is a playful personality I will fall completely for that. the realty might be that , there are some women that um well liked me on dating sites. I think it was by accident though but there have been a few who i don't believe that said i'm quite attractive. I certainly find them attractive.
the problem with meeting them randomly is, a. I can't tell that they like me unless they come out and say it which they don't they instead flirt, which I have now way of seeing if its flirting or just being nice. I took a chance once and it was nice, so i assume they are all just being nice. B. I am far to shy with women to approach one with no data about them. not even knowing if they are single or in a relationship. if they are they might get pissed or their bf's might and attack me for threatening their relationship. c. all my activities are guy populated or women who are there with bf's/husbands. I don't have the time or patients to take up a fake hobby hoping to meet a woman just to get friend zoned. my friends/family won't introduce me to women or just don't know any single ones. I get it, if it doesn't work out there's going be drama . same reason I won't ask anyone at work out.
issues i'm a ware of, time management. How do you tell a woman that while you love spending time with them, you'd like to do other things too, and then what do they do? my only experience was a week I had lady friend over and well we did everything together and i would have liked to be able to do my regular stuff as well. this taught me I need a lady who likes doing stuff together but having time for our separate hobbies. but can be there when i have "clingy moments" though i don't think i'd feel clingy with proper time balance.
what you said about you and you're husband sounded nice. I do tend to care about my health and stuff. I watch my calories, and when i wasn't afraid to go outside I went on walks. i'm just not super into it , I don't want to be thin, i like being me, I worry about getting too big henc the calorie and walking so i could keep at "my" ideal weight. I don't care if my love did the same, as long as she didn't become obese, its unattractive and not healthy, Id worry about her health. i'm quite open though I prefer no makeup, though that can be bad if she likes makeup, i don't care though.
thanks for your response. I kinda would like to talk more if you willing, probably not here though given the topic.
You know, you sound like you are slowly getting a decent handle on it all to me. You are still young. The process takes time. If you do well once you've gotten the first date well, then, maybe you shouldn't be afraid to over market a little on the internet.
I met my husband through my sister, btw. The only guy she ever introduced me to. I had to pass 30 before that happened, lol. You can't expect friends and family to know someone who is good for you today. Just be open for it should it happen tomorrow. Or in a decade. These things don't have a schedule to them; they happen when they happen.
I have to have to have to stay off this site tomorrow. I am going to try, at least. Large project at work that I am dreadfully behind on. Should have finished it today (yes, because of the deadline I went to work on the holiday) but I let myself get way way way too distracted. My fault, and life goes on.
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
27 May 2014, 1:49 am
NobodyKnows wrote:
For example, I meet quite a lot of women who think that health care and education are rights. I've personally worked my butt off to make those "rights" possible, including:
- working on optics-finishing systems needed to make modern medical scopes and intra-ocular implants.
- microlithoraphic systems needed to make SNP-chips.
- several separate systems that made modern computer chips and hard disk drives possible. Without those, you wouldn't have CAT scans, MRIs, any type of bioinformatics, or computerized medical records. A lot of statistical research being done now wouldn't be practical.
Our company was the only one in the world able to make that stuff.
I agree that he doesn't have a right to love or sex. By the same token, you do not have a right to my work..
- working on optics-finishing systems needed to make modern medical scopes and intra-ocular implants.
- microlithoraphic systems needed to make SNP-chips.
- several separate systems that made modern computer chips and hard disk drives possible. Without those, you wouldn't have CAT scans, MRIs, any type of bioinformatics, or computerized medical records. A lot of statistical research being done now wouldn't be practical.
Our company was the only one in the world able to make that stuff.
I agree that he doesn't have a right to love or sex. By the same token, you do not have a right to my work..
Edited. There's enough ugliness around. You know what, you want to kid yourself about what you did all by yourself and how the world is robbing you, go for it, enjoy.
Last edited by tarantella64 on 27 May 2014, 3:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
27 May 2014, 2:06 am
NobodyKnows wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
No one is asking you to give anything away;
You're correct in the sense that they don't have the decency to ask. Everybody has to pay into the things that I mentioned, including the poor people who are hit hardest by that.
Net, no, they do not unless they're childless or living on investment income. While it's true that FICA is regressive (and shouldn't be), EITC and non-refundable credits will hand them the money back. EITC should not penalize childlessness, but you'll have to talk to your friendly Republican rep about that.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
27 May 2014, 2:24 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
tarantella, you didn't comment on the link I posted back on page 9.
What, this quote of yours?
Quote:
"I've noticed, in several occasions, female coworkers talking about how their brothers are dating a new girl every 2 days and so or even how they're dating several girls simultaneously. One of them even talked about her brother dating engaged and married women.
What those all conversations had in common, that there was an obvious 'boasting' tone in their conversations, they were not talking about them in a shameful way or even in an embarrassed them, but they were boasting about them. Sometimes they say something like " I am trying to convince him to settle down but...." or even "I told him this is bad but they're following him..." (this how it was said literary) and that's it.
I think they were exaggerating, but that's not the point, the point is why they are doing this? why they are talking about it? and why they are boasting about it? and how this can be any good publicity for their brothers and for them? and why they never mention sisters' encounters?"
What those all conversations had in common, that there was an obvious 'boasting' tone in their conversations, they were not talking about them in a shameful way or even in an embarrassed them, but they were boasting about them. Sometimes they say something like " I am trying to convince him to settle down but...." or even "I told him this is bad but they're following him..." (this how it was said literary) and that's it.
I think they were exaggerating, but that's not the point, the point is why they are doing this? why they are talking about it? and why they are boasting about it? and how this can be any good publicity for their brothers and for them? and why they never mention sisters' encounters?"
If that's what you're talking about...I wasn't there and don't know, but this kind of talk among women isn't generally boasting, IME. It's theatrical scandal and sharing of a social problem. Depending on the social circle, someone may offer help in the form of useful advice. "I'm trying to get him to settle down," might be answered by, "You should tell him about [equally colorful cautionary tale, incentive, etc]." Women often bond and maintain friendships this way, by sharing and solving family problems. And gossiping.
About publicity -- well, it doesn't reflect on them, it's their relation, and they're talking to friends (as opposed to, say, a date, who might wonder what kind of mess he was tangling himself up in). And if they thought it would hurt their brothers, they wouldn't do it. Likely their sisters aren't so promiscuous, or, if they are, they'd be inclined to protect their sisters' reputation, because women suffer harsh social penalties if they're regarded as sluts. That's something you'd confide quietly to a very good friend, or on the phone, privately.
Bed, i'm going to bed....
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
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Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
27 May 2014, 2:33 am
tarantella64 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
tarantella, you didn't comment on the link I posted back on page 9.
What, this quote of yours?
Quote:
"I've noticed, in several occasions, female coworkers talking about how their brothers are dating a new girl every 2 days and so or even how they're dating several girls simultaneously. One of them even talked about her brother dating engaged and married women.
What those all conversations had in common, that there was an obvious 'boasting' tone in their conversations, they were not talking about them in a shameful way or even in an embarrassed them, but they were boasting about them. Sometimes they say something like " I am trying to convince him to settle down but...." or even "I told him this is bad but they're following him..." (this how it was said literary) and that's it.
I think they were exaggerating, but that's not the point, the point is why they are doing this? why they are talking about it? and why they are boasting about it? and how this can be any good publicity for their brothers and for them? and why they never mention sisters' encounters?"
What those all conversations had in common, that there was an obvious 'boasting' tone in their conversations, they were not talking about them in a shameful way or even in an embarrassed them, but they were boasting about them. Sometimes they say something like " I am trying to convince him to settle down but...." or even "I told him this is bad but they're following him..." (this how it was said literary) and that's it.
I think they were exaggerating, but that's not the point, the point is why they are doing this? why they are talking about it? and why they are boasting about it? and how this can be any good publicity for their brothers and for them? and why they never mention sisters' encounters?"
If that's what you're talking about...I wasn't there and don't know, but this kind of talk among women isn't generally boasting, IME. It's theatrical scandal and sharing of a social problem. Depending on the social circle, someone may offer help in the form of useful advice. "I'm trying to get him to settle down," might be answered by, "You should tell him about [equally colorful cautionary tale, incentive, etc]." Women often bond and maintain friendships this way, by sharing and solving family problems. And gossiping.
About publicity -- well, it doesn't reflect on them, it's their relation, and they're talking to friends (as opposed to, say, a date, who might wonder what kind of mess he was tangling himself up in). And if they thought it would hurt their brothers, they wouldn't do it. Likely their sisters aren't so promiscuous, or, if they are, they'd be inclined to protect their sisters' reputation, because women suffer harsh social penalties if they're regarded as sluts. That's something you'd confide quietly to a very good friend, or on the phone, privately.
Bed, i'm going to bed....
No dear, it was obvious boasting, and everyone in the other thread, males and females, recognized this kind of social talk because it's a common social phenomenon, when a sister/mom saying things while smiling "I am trying to convince him to settle down....but girls are following him" or "my son is getting a girl every (x period)" while smiling, is justifying this behavior - it is more common than you think. Anyway, this off topic, but I just wanted to note that not only men are responsible for promoting that male promiscuity is good.
27 May 2014, 3:06 am
cannotthinkoff wrote:
if feminism so evil why there has not been a single case where woman goes on a killing spree?
Women integrate easier and can find a suitable partner, even if they are overweight or have mental issues. Guys on the spectrum have to put in a lot more work to improve themselves and even if you have a nice car, you might not get laid.
27 May 2014, 3:33 am
aerithius wrote:
Women integrate easier and can find a suitable partner, even if they are overweight or have mental issues. Guys on the spectrum have to put in a lot more work to improve themselves and even if you have a nice car, you might not get laid.
Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. In so many directions, too.
1. Tell yourself these fairy stories if you want about how easy it is for women to find "a suitable partner", but you are wrong.
2. "I can't get laid," by itself, is not why men kill women.
3. A nice car? You really think women sleep with men because they have nice cars? No, this is not why women have sex with men.
27 May 2014, 3:34 am
aerithius wrote:
cannotthinkoff wrote:
if feminism so evil why there has not been a single case where woman goes on a killing spree?
Women integrate easier and can find a suitable partner, even if they are overweight or have mental issues.
That particular line of bollocks just won't die.
Quote:
Guys on the spectrum have to put in a lot more work to improve themselves and even if you have a nice car, you might not get laid.
Oh, ffs.
_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.
You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.
27 May 2014, 3:48 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
tarantella, you didn't comment on the link I posted back on page 9.
What, this quote of yours?
Quote:
"I've noticed, in several occasions, female coworkers talking about how their brothers are dating a new girl every 2 days and so or even how they're dating several girls simultaneously. One of them even talked about her brother dating engaged and married women.
What those all conversations had in common, that there was an obvious 'boasting' tone in their conversations, they were not talking about them in a shameful way or even in an embarrassed them, but they were boasting about them. Sometimes they say something like " I am trying to convince him to settle down but...." or even "I told him this is bad but they're following him..." (this how it was said literary) and that's it.
I think they were exaggerating, but that's not the point, the point is why they are doing this? why they are talking about it? and why they are boasting about it? and how this can be any good publicity for their brothers and for them? and why they never mention sisters' encounters?"
What those all conversations had in common, that there was an obvious 'boasting' tone in their conversations, they were not talking about them in a shameful way or even in an embarrassed them, but they were boasting about them. Sometimes they say something like " I am trying to convince him to settle down but...." or even "I told him this is bad but they're following him..." (this how it was said literary) and that's it.
I think they were exaggerating, but that's not the point, the point is why they are doing this? why they are talking about it? and why they are boasting about it? and how this can be any good publicity for their brothers and for them? and why they never mention sisters' encounters?"
If that's what you're talking about...I wasn't there and don't know, but this kind of talk among women isn't generally boasting, IME. It's theatrical scandal and sharing of a social problem. Depending on the social circle, someone may offer help in the form of useful advice. "I'm trying to get him to settle down," might be answered by, "You should tell him about [equally colorful cautionary tale, incentive, etc]." Women often bond and maintain friendships this way, by sharing and solving family problems. And gossiping.
About publicity -- well, it doesn't reflect on them, it's their relation, and they're talking to friends (as opposed to, say, a date, who might wonder what kind of mess he was tangling himself up in). And if they thought it would hurt their brothers, they wouldn't do it. Likely their sisters aren't so promiscuous, or, if they are, they'd be inclined to protect their sisters' reputation, because women suffer harsh social penalties if they're regarded as sluts. That's something you'd confide quietly to a very good friend, or on the phone, privately.
Bed, i'm going to bed....
No dear, it was obvious boasting, and everyone in the other thread, males and females, recognized this kind of social talk because it's a common social phenomenon, when a sister/mom saying things while smiling "I am trying to convince him to settle down....but girls are following him" or "my son is getting a girl every (x period)" while smiling, is justifying this behavior - it is more common than you think. Anyway, this off topic, but I just wanted to note that not only men are responsible for promoting that male promiscuity is good.
Okay. I've never seen it, that's all. My friends will brag about their sons' winning athletic/school/music prizes, being very smart, doing something menschy, cooking wonderful food, being precocious, getting into top universities/grad programs, getting a great job, becoming engaged to a beautiful/accomplished/very smart girl...but no, I can't imagine any of them bragging about how often their son or brother gets laid. For one thing, it's disrespectful to the invisible women, and for another...f*****g is an accomplishment? I'm sorry, I can't see it. Nor can I see any of the other women reacting favorably to it as a boast.
Just in general, though...yeah, no, I've never heard of it as a good thing, among women or girls. A promiscuous guy's going to run around on you, use you, and maybe give you a disease; why would you want that? By my age, some experience is a good thing and to be expected, but I don't think anyone I've ever known would judge a middle-aged boyfriend for, say, only ever having been with his college sweetheart-and-then-wife. On the contrary, that sounds like a solid, loyal guy, reliable.
I think in general, women distrust promiscuous men. Not because they perceive them to be wicked, but because they're likely to hurt women. Use them for sex, run around, spread disease, behave irresponsibly. Yeah...actually I just went back and reread your whole thread, and it's you trying to advance this "women boast about male relatives' promiscuity" thing a few times, while other posters sort of wrinkle their foreheads about it and say, "Well, that's weird, I wouldn't do that," or "those women probably feel very used", or come up with baloney evolutionary rationales to explain your posts. I don't see a chorus of, "Yeah, dude, there's always women boasting about how often their brothers get shagged." And then there's that one guy presented as a sort of circus freak.
(trying to remember whether any friend in history of friendships, or any co-worker, has said, "My brother's such a manwhore." ...crickets....Nope, that seems to've been reserved for teasing metrosexual male friends who're just plain flighty and/or closeted and date several girls in a row, then are agitated at the idea that they've used the girls (sex, generally not involved), and insist that they're still "such good friends". Not heard since mid-90s.)
27 May 2014, 3:54 am
tarantella64 wrote:
aerithius wrote:
Women integrate easier and can find a suitable partner, even if they are overweight or have mental issues. Guys on the spectrum have to put in a lot more work to improve themselves and even if you have a nice car, you might not get laid.
Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. In so many directions, too.
2. "I can't get laid," by itself, is not why men kill women.
.
It is, most people fight over lust, power, greed, lust, jealousy and envy.
Humanity sucks, most people are evil but not everyone is bad, this guy just experienced the worst of a bad bunch..if people were nicer and more accepting, it might not have even took place.
