Are relationships always this complicated?

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I will give you a point in regards to the clingy and unconfident comment and perhaps I was a little hasty with saying my comment. But I still stand with "noone who is in a healthy relationship is going to post details on the internet" And yes, she likely will feel a violation of trust if she ever reads that the OP said that he would have a convenient excuse to dump her due to her having (what appears to some other posters here) a Borderline Personality Disorder.

She wasn't being perceptive when she said that, she was fishing for validation, another one of her passive-aggressive manipulation games.

My recommendation to be honest about your long term intentions stands. I have no trouble with people dating while knowing it won't work out long term, as long as BOTH PEOPLE KNOW that is exactly what they are doing. It removes a lot of speculation and angst from a relationship to put it out in the air. Yes, it means there is a risk of a break up you may not be ready for, but my relationships generally just got more carefree once that was acknowledged, and then lasted until one of us told the other "I've met someone else." Or one of us got super busy at work. Or moved. Or any of the above

Don't start assuming she can read your thoughts any better than you can read hers. That is a losing game.

Yeah but I thought the whole point of buying from an American website was to avoid sales tax. If I buy from amazon.com.au I still pay Australian sales tax. There's no site that is both 1) free from Australian sales tax and 2) ships from within Australia and charges only local shipping rates. I can have one or the other, not both.

Which Australian retailer should I use? I was thinking the Australian branch of the HP Employee Purchase Program. That way I get $650 off, which is a greater saving than I would make by buying from Amazon. Also they carry some nice corporate ones (with LTE). Amazon US has similar models but local brick and mortar retailers only carry consumer laptops

Oh crap.She said she's adept at inferring people's thoughts. She said she's perceptive in such matters. She lied.She already knows that I post about her here.

50 Shades of RetroGamer.

Are you joking?

Last edited by Amity on 07 Mar 2015, 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I wouldn't say she lied so much as I would say it is impossible for her to know how well she might read you, as a unique person, especially since you two are practically entirely different species from each other. And even if she can read you, the only way to know will be for her to say what she is reading, instead of playing with it. And even then, just because she is right once won't mean she is right the next time. So just get out of the losing game; don't play.

Oh course, these are just my thoughts reading what you've written - I can be reading her wrong, too. The whole point is, still, STOP RELYING ON ANYTHING BUT DIRECT DISCUSSION.

yeah, but just talking about relationship stuff online shouldn't i hope. i don't think his gf would like much of the way he talked about her in this thread.

i've always seeked consoul online about dating and what to do/not do.

though if they are BPD and you confront them i imagine they'd lie and manipulate you. vs talking to others might help.
I mean if i only talked to my future gf about her abusing me i'm sure she'd likely turn it to make me feel bad vs if i talked to others they'd be like no you shouldn't stay with her.

probably case by case. nothing I have to worry about though.

And another reason I can't be in a long term relationship with her is because she says I'm not allowed to meet her family. She tells her parents she's single. If this was a long term relationship, I'd have to get along with her family. She said I'm forbidden to talk to one of her sisters for some reason.

And she's scared of my family. She's scared of my mother, though they haven't met. She's scared of my friends. This one time one of my friends came 'round and she just didn't say very much. Now he's the nicest guy you could ever hope to meet. I don't know why she'd be scared of him.

Now I have to watch that movie so I get the reference.OK, she wasn't lying, she mistakenly thought she was telling the truth.COOL!

OK, it's over. It didn't end when arguing or hostility. She called to say her family wanted her to go back to Sydney. I told her she was an adult and she didn't have to obey her parents. She said she missed Sydney anyway. This was true. She'd been saying she wanted to go back to Sydney for weeks and she'd only been staying because of me. Her sister's boyfriend said a few days ago she would book the plane tickets unless I did some "romantic gesture".

She said she'd bought the tickets a few days ago and apologized for not telling me when she stayed over before. She said she was too embarrassed to say it to my face. I said that it was sad but I must accept the inevitable. She got a bit teary and choked up. I told her I forgave her, which she seemed to like.

Now that I'm single again I have the privilege of dating other girls instead of being shackled in monogamy. One with potential is that ice hockey playing girl at work. She's a good deal fitter than exgf (built like a truck, not that there's anything wrong with that). She's very smart and mentally stable (though I suspect she has workaholic disorder). I'm sure she was flirting with me a few weeks ago. I didn't react because I was already dating but maybe there's a way I could restart things with her.

Time to dance!!

I don't think a celebration is in order...after browsing this thread and reading the last paragraph of his update, it seems like his future relationships are bound to fail or at least be extremely complicated. His rash decision to move on to the next girl without changing his attitude/behavior is a recipe for disaster. Wished I didn't have to be a debbie downer.

LOL....That hysterectomy thing is something to remember!

I'm glad things ended amicably. Now, seek out a fellow computer geek---you'd be better off!

Or at least somebody who's as casual about relationships as you are. Not somebody who wants kids, marriage, stuff like that. A girl more your speed in that aspect of things.

You know what to do to "get your rocks off." Don't let your you-know-what determine your quickness to enter into relationships. I did that--and much (mostly emotional/financial) harm came to me.

And don't let ANYBODY call you "chicken!' You're Marty McFly!

Celebrate the moment!

Also, it's unlikely that he will find another gf pretty soon.