Beta males - why do woman dislike them?

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Crazyfool
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06 Sep 2015, 3:01 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

I’m about average height, or perhaps very slightly above it, and still often feel it’s not enough, because, socially awkward as I am, I know anyone physically able to beat the s**t out of me will eventually get pissed off enough with me to do it if I interact long enough with them. I’d probably feel much more confident if I were fitter and had some training in some martial art, but I didn’t think enough about these topics when I was younger, so I didn’t consider them as important as I do now, and did nothing about it. I’m not really sure I could have done anything even if I had wanted to. Now I can improve a bit, but it’s definitely not going to make a significant change. Whoever can beat me up now will always be able to beat me up.

Why would someone wanna knock you out for interacting with them, are you a dick towards other people or something?

I can guarantee you you'd be more confident if you were more fit and built up your body. Strength training and putting on muscle does a ton for a mans ego. It's a feels good when you can walk into a room full of guys and know you are the biggest one there. It's never too late to start weight lifting and changing your body for the better....

The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Sep 2015, 3:11 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

I am taking Wing Tsun courses, and let me tell, it is very hard to learn as adult - and it's pretty expensive too.
And you really have to be at a high level to beat someone who's significantly bigger than you.

Talking about size and strength,sometimes I very often see symbolic photos on women's dating profiles such as these:

These definitely reflects a strong desire for a strong man...and who's significantly strong and bigger than them.

trayder
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06 Sep 2015, 4:38 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

trayder wrote:

It depends on what you mean by intelligence and whether all autistics think as you seem to suggest.

No, I’m not suggesting anything about all autistics. I didn’t even mention autism. I’m just observing many people post about alpha males with the explicit assumption that they’re less intelligent than betas, and I’ve often seen this kind of characterization in real life, too. Naturally, I disagree.

Life is full of inconsistencies. But the reality is that our culture venerates power, preferably financial and if you have the body to go with it, all the better. The other reality is that a lot of the creativity actually comes from the nerdy types who in fact are used quite extensively at the complex end of the business world and in research...from my experience anyways.

If you want to play by those rules and are a nerd, then obviously, you buff yourself up and if you can swing it, get loaded up financially....you have to be smart on this one however That might get you some ways with flings and money power. Still does not get you round the issue that if you are cognitively highly rational, that really does not cut the ice for long.

More meaningful and long lasting and you will have to make some effort in finding someone with substance...and good luck with that. But to try and build a relationship on body size...Im not so sure that is a good idea on its own.

Peacesells
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06 Sep 2015, 5:06 pm

voleregard wrote:

Holly (at dinner party celebrating her acceptance into grad school in Applied Psycho-Neurobiology): "Thank you so much for this lovely reception. I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Grog."

Grog: "Ungh."

Amber (Party host): "So Grog, what do you think about Holly's early findings that increasing endoribonuclease L expression in C2C12 myogenic cells during their multipotency phase favors their adipogenic potential?

Grog: "Ughh. Where beer?"

Amber: <points off to the left>
<affectionately watches Grog amble toward the beer, knocking lots of thin, intelligent-looking people out of his way with his shoulders.>
<whispers to Holly:> "He's so dreamy, Holly. I bet he's real handy in all those dive bars, pool halls, and back alleys where you like to hang out. I'd like one just like him, but I bet they're all taken."

Holly: "Yeah, he can really beat the sh*t out of criminals. When we talk about my research and he grunts his reply, I know it's like talking to a dog about nuclear medicine, but I know I'll be safe and our children will be strong dominators. What's important is that my children will fulfill my dreams for them of being able to play football really well and be able to beat up every other kid on the playground. Because we both know that survival is what means most to us women."

Amber: "You're so right, Holly." <looks back toward Grog. sighs in envy at Amber's great catch. walks off toward beer.> "Oh, Grog, I have another question for you…"

Surely better a gorilla than a self-absorbed a**hole with a superiority complex.

auntblabby
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06 Sep 2015, 5:10 pm

314pe wrote:

Catlover5 wrote:

Men with e.g. bad hygiene, dirty clothes, body odour, bad breath and who don't take care of their appearance are unlikely to get dates because those are instant turn-offs for women.

Also men with bad posture, odd walk and monotonous voice. Those are more relevant for us aspies and a lot harder to change. In an ideal world, all people who put effort into dating succeed at least sometimes, but it's not true in real life and it's unfair for unsuccessful people to say that they don't care and don't try.

I can't help but have mediocre posture and a funny "ministerial"

walk, because of scoliosis and one leg longer than the other. I was made on a Monday morning [hung-over workers] or a Friday afternoon at quitting time ["hey! it's 4:30! let's drop everything and get the hell outta here!"] out of irregular, cast-off parts. :alien:

XFilesGeek
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06 Sep 2015, 5:17 pm

I'm friends with many men who are muscular, physically fit, extroverted, and accomplished.

None of them are "stupid" or "a$$holes."

:roll:

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trayder
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06 Sep 2015, 5:28 pm

For me anyways, being cognitively different does not translate into a superiority complex or else I would not be on this board and life would be hunky dory. A superiority complex has superiority outcomes or it is stupid and meaningless.

But I cannot abide inconsistency. You either make sense or you dont. The women I have been with thus far are pretty self destructive with their inconsistent and petulant behaviour and no amount of reasoning has made one iota. I just cant function in an environment like that...my brain simply cant hack it.

Crazyfool
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06 Sep 2015, 5:29 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:

I'm friends with many men who are muscular, physically fit, extroverted, and accomplished.

None of them are "stupid" or "a$$holes."

:roll:

Who implied that? I agree xfilesgeek, to attribute being physically fit with being stupid, is stupid! I would have to assume that anyone saying big muscular guys lack intelligence are just a tid-bit jealous and big time insecure. It takes hard work to get a nice physique and anyone can do it, if you're willing to make some sacrifices and put in some serious dedication.

Peacesells
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06 Sep 2015, 5:33 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:

I'm friends with many men who are muscular, physically fit, extroverted, and accomplished.

None of them are "stupid" or "a$$holes."

:roll:

If you are responding to me, I think you misunderstood my words.

trayder
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06 Sep 2015, 5:38 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:

I'm friends with many men who are muscular, physically fit, extroverted, and accomplished.

None of them are "stupid" or "a$$holes."

:roll:

There are all sorts of able individuals in this world. There are the salesmen who are able at marketing the creations of the nerd. In my game as a forex day trader, the financial markets are basically ruled by salesmen with the technicians like myself working away in the background.

Of course, working for myself, I need no salesmen. However, if I were to own a brokerage, I would definitely need a few buff talkers to sell my company to investors.

XFilesGeek
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06 Sep 2015, 6:35 pm

I'm responding to the ever present stereotype that athletic, extroverted males are "a$$holes" by default.

Personally, men who are accomplished and popular have treated me much better than "nerds" who have little if any social experience. It's no different than women who attempt to shame "skinny" women and denounce them as "b_tches" for no other reason than that they are pretty.

I just think people should focus on improving their strengths instead of tearing each other down.

XFilesGeek
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06 Sep 2015, 6:37 pm

Peacesells wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

I'm friends with many men who are muscular, physically fit, extroverted, and accomplished.

None of them are "stupid" or "a$$holes."

:roll:

If you are responding to me, I think you misunderstood my words.

Absolutely!!

trayder
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06 Sep 2015, 6:53 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:

Lets not forget that autism is a spectrum of cognitive functioning. Likewise the allistic specrum must represent people who have certain abilities enhanced, such as the ability to be reasonable when dealing with others, likewise the autistic range. However, our condition is an acute one as some of our sense are functional whereas others are not and thus our view of the world is somewhat amplified dependant on what is at the fore.

I can only speak for myself but my brain craves consistency and there is littler of that around. As a forex trader for example and a pretty good one at that, I am reluctant to advise on trading forums for example for the aggression that elicits. Almost every trader I encounter wants to be given an easy package of tricks rather then be advised that the road to perfection is a hard one but still attainable.I dont engage in these forums any longer.

That tells me something about people...that where it matters, they dont want to deal with reality. I saw that as well as a lawyer and in my personal life.

This a major dead end for me in terms of relating to others.

Peacesells
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06 Sep 2015, 7:17 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:

Peacesells wrote:

XFilesGeek wrote:

I'm friends with many men who are muscular, physically fit, extroverted, and accomplished.

None of them are "stupid" or "a$$holes."

:roll:

If you are responding to me, I think you misunderstood my words.

Absolutely!!

Yeah, I meant that the guy I quoted sounded assholish.
Edit: unless he was being ironic at Spiderpig or something.

Spiderpig
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06 Sep 2015, 7:29 pm

Crazyfool wrote:

Why would someone wanna knock you out for interacting with them, are you a dick towards other people or something?

Not on purpose, but my aspie behaviors can come across as provocations, especially to someone used to being shown great respect and not contested or argued with. Conversation tends to make me focus on whatever we're talking about, forgetting the social setting where it's taking place and any existing hierarchies or power relationships. As it's probably apparent on these forums, I like thinking a lot about stuff without caring much how pleasant or unpleasant the conclusions may be, because that's not how you look for the truth. Needless to say, my ramblings are boring to most people, and, since they're usually interested in more down-to-earth and social topics, whatever I blurt out is likely to be interpreted in a figurative sense I'm not even aware of, that will probably offend someone some way or other.

This is why, in real life, I talk to people very little.

Crazyfool wrote:

I can guarantee you you'd be more confident if you were more fit and built up your body. Strength training and putting on muscle does a ton for a mans ego. It's a feels good when you can walk into a room full of guys and know you are the biggest one there. It's never too late to start weight lifting and changing your body for the better....

I hope so.

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auntblabby
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06 Sep 2015, 7:31 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

Crazyfool wrote:

I hope so.

best to do so while you are still young and not yet broken down by age.

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